Help me quit, you funny, funny people!

orion549 · 12-11-2008, 04:29 PM

So after going to the hospital for the 2nd time in 2 weeks with a bad asthma attack, I've decided to quit smoking. I've decided to motivate myself to quit by making fun of smoking every day over Twitter and Facebook.

I'm not an amazingly funny guy myself, so I was wondering if anybody wanted to help by giving me some good one-liners against smoking.

If it's by someone specific, please let me know so I can give credit, otherwise I'll credit you when I use your one-liner.

Here's my first one, in the style of a Colbert 'On Notice':
"Smoking, you've been put ON NOTICE. Because unlike the guy in Brokeback Mountain, I CAN quit you."

It can be anything, just has to fit on Twitter. Thanx!!

marina · 12-11-2008, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orion549

So after going to the hospital for the 2nd time in 2 weeks with a bad asthma attack, I've decided to quit smoking. I've decided to motivate myself to quit by making fun of smoking every day over Twitter and Facebook.

I'm not an amazingly funny guy myself, so I was wondering if anybody wanted to help by giving me some good one-liners against smoking.

If it's by someone specific, please let me know so I can give credit, otherwise I'll credit you when I use your one-liner.

Here's my first one, in the style of a Colbert 'On Notice':
"Smoking, you've been put ON NOTICE. Because unlike the guy in Brokeback Mountain, I CAN quit you."

It can be anything, just has to fit on Twitter. Thanx!!

I can't think of anything that's not horrible, but GOY. I haven't had a cigarette in 5 years. It's much nicer to be able to breath.

1969 · 12-11-2008, 04:55 PM

"Now that I'm not smoking, yes. In fact I am better than you."

i may have gotten the punctuation wrong though....

orion549 · 12-11-2008, 05:08 PM

I don't care if it's horrible, I just want funny. "I sometimes wish I hadn't quit smoking, I was one Cancer away from a whole set..."

rehtaFrey · 12-12-2008, 02:21 AM

Man I actually went a 7 month stretch without smoking before stumbling. Guess I will have another go at it after the new year. Without the quotes of course.

gumby013 · 12-12-2008, 05:39 AM

"Fuck! I am only 100 Marlboro Miles away from getting the inhaler."

King of Assholes · 12-12-2008, 07:56 AM

Mine are all in support of smoking, sorry.

12-11-2008, 04:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
orion549 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: London, Ontario Posts: 134	Help me quit, you funny, funny people! So after going to the hospital for the 2nd time in 2 weeks with a bad asthma attack, I've decided to quit smoking. I've decided to motivate myself to quit by making fun of smoking every day over Twitter and Facebook. I'm not an amazingly funny guy myself, so I was wondering if anybody wanted to help by giving me some good one-liners against smoking. If it's by someone specific, please let me know so I can give credit, otherwise I'll credit you when I use your one-liner. Here's my first one, in the style of a Colbert 'On Notice': "Smoking, you've been put ON NOTICE. Because unlike the guy in Brokeback Mountain, I CAN quit you." It can be anything, just has to fit on Twitter. Thanx!! __________________ Victor Zulu - Zombie audiofiction podcast Bet you can't find me: Blog - Facebook - Last.fm - Twitter - DeviantArt - CastRoller "You're gonna get what you deserve, and not a bullet less. Hey Sammy, ain't ya heard? Only killers call killin' progress..."
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12-11-2008, 04:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
1969 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: in Diana's kitchen, buried under a mountain of scorn and blue sprinkles. Posts: 567	"Now that I'm not smoking, yes. In fact I am better than you." i may have gotten the punctuation wrong though....
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12-11-2008, 05:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
orion549 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: London, Ontario Posts: 134	I don't care if it's horrible, I just want funny. "I sometimes wish I hadn't quit smoking, I was one Cancer away from a whole set..."
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12-12-2008, 02:21 AM	#5 (permalink)
rehtaFrey Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: SINGAPORE~~ Posts: 502	Man I actually went a 7 month stretch without smoking before stumbling. Guess I will have another go at it after the new year. Without the quotes of course.
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12-12-2008, 05:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
gumby013 Aspie...dur... Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,468	"Fuck! I am only 100 Marlboro Miles away from getting the inhaler."
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12-12-2008, 07:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
King of Assholes Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: DC Posts: 684	Mine are all in support of smoking, sorry.
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