Question about gay dating?

[punk'n]

I agree with everyone else. It sounds like the problem is just inexperience (which is universal) and not that you're gay. I'm bi and the first girl I dated was apprehensive because she thought that I was just a straight girl pretending and that I would break her heart. But I was honest with her about her being my first girlfriend and we ended up being together for awhile. I think that honesty is your best bet, and make sure that the guys you're dating know that you're inexperienced and not just experimenting. This may apply more to women than men, but the gays that are out tend to get hurt by straight people that are just fucking around and when things get serious they run away and go back to being straight, leaving the gay high and dry.

You're ok, you're only 20. Live it up, you'll figure it out.

[Mikey]

[punk'n]

Heheheh, Mikey.

I went to this rally yesterday to protest Prop 8 passing.
My best friend made a sign that said "Discrimination is gay."

Love it.

[PsychoTeddy]

Originally Posted by CuriousKlepto

That's one of my bigger problems. There isn't really big gay scene where I live so I have to look for gay guy friends online, most of which only want what I'm not ready to give up.

Maybe try looking for guys outside of your area and just chatting to them online for a while, it's at least a start.

[marina]

Originally Posted by CuriousKlepto

That's one of my bigger problems. There isn't really big gay scene where I live so I have to look for gay guy friends online, most of which only want what I'm not ready to give up.

IMHO, any "scene" is for shit. I don't know where you live, but go to the local GLBT center, ask if they need help (they always need help), or join the GLBT club at your college. If there isn't one, start one. If you're not in college, go! Everybody seems to have a gay experience in college, you shouldn't be left out.

[tga]

Originally Posted by CuriousKlepto

That's one of my bigger problems. There isn't really big gay scene where I live so I have to look for gay guy friends online, most of which only want what I'm not ready to give up.

Perhaps with your online profiles, make sure to make it clear that you are looking for friends ONLY. However, as a user of gay sites, I know that this can come across a bit desperate in a way. But, in saying that, you can build up a repore with someone before ever meeting them and hopefully, it can blossom into a friendship.

I have been where you are now. It's fucking difficult but it will come together in the end and you will meet friends and have lovers etc.

To answer your first question, I mean, it really depends on how you want your first time to be. If you want to just get past the experience and it doesn't matter who it's with, there really isn't any need to tell them at all. You can just ask them to take things slowly while you are with them and maybe just say you haven't had much experience but I think the thing with virgins on the gay scene, a lot of guys are scared that a virgin will latch on and read more into it if the other person was just after a fuck.

If you want it to mean something to you and be with someone that you care about, the best thing to do is get to know them before you do anything with them anyway so you would think that the person you are getting to know will be someone you can confide the fact that you are a virgin they are obviously not the person that is going to be special if they run away when you tell them.

Good luck with it all.

[rehtaFrey]

Originally Posted by tga

Perhaps with your online profiles, make sure to make it clear that you are looking for friends ONLY. However, as a user of gay sites, I know that this can come across a bit desperate in a way. But, in saying that, you can build up a repore with someone before ever meeting them and hopefully, it can blossom into a friendship.

I have been where you are now. It's fucking difficult but it will come together in the end and you will meet friends and have lovers etc.

To answer your first question, I mean, it really depends on how you want your first time to be. If you want to just get past the experience and it doesn't matter who it's with, there really isn't any need to tell them at all. You can just ask them to take things slowly while you are with them and maybe just say you haven't had much experience but I think the thing with virgins on the gay scene, a lot of guys are scared that a virgin will latch on and read more into it if the other person was just after a fuck.

If you want it to mean something to you and be with someone that you care about, the best thing to do is get to know them before you do anything with them anyway so you would think that the person you are getting to know will be someone you can confide the fact that you are a virgin they are obviously not the person that is going to be special if they run away when you tell them.

Good luck with it all.

I suggest making yourself to be "just looking around". But this advice is pretty good.

[Bebe]

Originally Posted by Mikey

sign

That comma is totally misplaced.

I think that hanging out with gay guys is a great idea. Just get used to the scene before you launch in.

[phooey]

Originally Posted by CuriousKlepto

I’m very new to dating and I need to know. When should I tell a guy that I’ve never done anything with another guy before? On my very first date the guy totally freaked out cause I told him the total truth when he asked what kind of other guys I had dated. He got really weird when I told him he was the first gay guy I had ever met, and never called me back. What should say next time? And I just wanna be clear, He asked the question, It’s not like he said "You Thirsty?" and I screamed out "I’M A VIRGIN!" He wanted something and I just said how I didn’t think he was going to get it, from me, that night.

why do you think you are gay? Let's try an experiment.

Now first, if you are gay, that's just fine, but here is the thing... find yourself a really nice girl that will go down on you, put on your finest KATG shirt... it's a Wednesday and she decides to help you out..

then the following week... do the same, this time with the guy above... tell him what the KATG shirt means and that it is Wednesday and well.. you know.. fill in the rest.


just a little experiment... nothing more...

I am guessing that there is more to this story. Just sayin.

[marina]

Originally Posted by phooey

why do you think you are gay? Let's try an experiment.

Now first, if you are gay, that's just fine, but here is the thing... find yourself a really nice girl that will go down on you, put on your finest KATG shirt... it's a Wednesday and she decides to help you out..

then the following week... do the same, this time with the guy above... tell him what the KATG shirt means and that it is Wednesday and well.. you know.. fill in the rest.


just a little experiment... nothing more...

I am guessing that there is more to this story. Just sayin.

Is that how you figured out that you like girls?