Should I Be Worried? Girl With Guy Friends

[Scat]

Hey I thought I'd come to you guys for advice on this one. I've been seeing a girl for a couple months but there's been something nagging me in the back of my mind. She's told me she only has guy friends because girls are "catty", okay fine. I thought it was a bit weird to dismiss an entire gender but she does have interests that line up more with guys (e.g. video games) so fair enough.

But there's this one guy in her life that makes me uneasy. She goes to concerts with him and has a movie night with him every week. She's about to move into a place with him and be room-mates with him. He got her a job where he works so she'll be working full-time with him. They're going to go to the gym together, eat meals together, basically see each-other all the time.

Am I nuts or is this too much? Unfortunately with my schedule I can only see her a couple times a week, although we stay in contact through the phone everyday. But I feel like inevitably something is going to happen between these two. I can't in good conscience ask her not to move in with him or start working with him, so what should I do?

I'll be meeting him in a couple weeks time probably when she moves in with him. Should I say anything to him?

[Astigos]

Do you have a female friend that you frequently eat meals with, have movie night with, go to the gym with, and roommate with? No. Nuff said.

[Scat]

Well I do have female room-mates and sometimes we'll eat together.

I think it's pretty obvious he's into her, although I could be wrong, it's possible it's totally platonic. I think she's naive though and I can only see this ending in one of two ways.

1. Either he makes a move and she rejects him, which means she now has to spend all her days at home and at work with this guy, and who knows how he'll react.

2. He makes a move and she accepts him, which would obviously be bad for me.

[Astigos]

Maybe the dude's gay. That'd explain a lot.

[Scat]

Originally Posted by Astigos

Maybe the dude's gay. That'd explain a lot.

He's not gay, I checked out his facebook profile and he's "Interested In: Women"

[Sparrow]

Sounds like they have a lot of history together. If you want to know, ask. Carve out a specific time to sit with no distractions, let her know you're feeling threatened. Coming from a point of honesty and humility will do more than "you spend too much with so-and-so!!!" which is accusatory and straightaway puts her in a defensive position.

Speculating in this thread will only give you anxiety about it.

[BrianAlt]

Yeah, don't ask HIM about it. Ask HER. You're in a relationship with her, not him.

[John Galt]

... and no matter what the answers / truth may be, it's still only something to worry about if you want it to be something to worry about.

[Scat]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Sounds like they have a lot of history together. If you want to know, ask. Carve out a specific time to sit with no distractions, let her know you're feeling threatened. Coming from a point of honesty and humility will do more than "you spend too much with so-and-so!!!" which is accusatory and straightaway puts her in a defensive position.

Speculating in this thread will only give you anxiety about it.

No they haven't known each other that long, I'd have to ask her but I'm pretty sure it's been less than a year. She just added him on facebook last week.

Thanks for the good advice guys, you're right. I'm seeing her today, not sure if to bring it up with her now or wait until I meet the guy. I figure if it's on my mind so much I should just talk about it now, otherwise it will just poison everything I do with her.

[poingjam]

I think I read a question like this in a book once...

http://www.amazon.com/What-Do-Now-Re.../dp/0307454398