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Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
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02-24-2013, 02:40 AM | #1 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 123
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unexpectedly kissed someone other than my wife
I want to start by thanking everyone involved with the show for thousands of hours of entertainment. Keith and Chemda have both been great sources of inspiration and solace for me. I've been married for 15 years, and there are some similarities between our relationship and theirs: I am an intimidating-looking nice guy, and she is an artistic performer; Based on our physical appearance and hair choices, people have asked if the characters on my KATG shirts were my wife and me; Doing High-Low in the evening provided us with a new way to communicate during difficult times; and in the end, we have decided to separate as friends so that we can continue to work together as a team in order to raise our kids. As a matter of fact, even though it's been about a year, the separation is still a secret from her family, since her parents focus on guilt and grief as opposed to support and understanding. We're technically still married, but only for lack of any urgent need to get the paperwork done.
I haven't been seriously considering any kind of new relationship. I am busy with work and hobbies. I have my kids every other week. When I don't have my kids, I'm living alone for the first time in my life, and I haven't been this happy in a very long time. So, last week, I somewhat unexpectedly kissed someone other than my wife for the first time in 16 years. I had driven 3 hours to go to a party at what is essentially a friend of a friend's who I have known for a few years, but have only really hung out with 7 or 8 times, although I have been fascinated with her since we first met. When she overheard that I was separated, she asked to confirm that I had gotten a vasectomy, and then said that we should fuck. I laughed, since this conversation included our mutual friends, and I could think of nothing more suave to do. Then she added that maybe the vasectomy wouldn't matter, because she might already be pregnant anyway. I told her that she was making the offer more tempting by the second, and then we all went back to whatever the conversation had been previously. As the night progressed, she kept explicitly telling me to get drunker, which I took as a good sign. At some point, she also said that they had a place for me if I needed to stay, since I was 3 hours from home, but I mentioned that I had already gotten a hotel room down the street. I never got the opportunity to really get closer to her over the course of the party, and since I'm way out of practice, and don't feel the need to get anything going right away, I just let the evening happen, and figured it might develop into something in the future. Another reason that I didn't even try to get closer was that there was a guy there who was clearly working on getting in her pants, and I didn't know what the history was there, since I barely know her - maybe it was some kind of on-going thing with them. At the end of the night, as I was about to walk out the door, she suddenly asked if I wanted to "make out" before I left, so I said "Well... sure." She moved up close to me, and then pulled back for a second to ask "Is this really... legal?" meaning, was I really separated from my wife? I sad "Yes," and we locked faces like we were in high school. I have absolutely no objective perception of my actions over the next few minutes. I tried to be sexy, I tried to be strong and seductive, I tried to be alluring, but I think I just stuck my tongue in her face and groped her awkwardly. After a bit, she pulled away gently, and it seemed to all be over, so we exchanged phone numbers and pleasantries, and I left. I was pretty excited about the whole thing at first, but then started getting doubts; thinking that I had been an awful kisser or a groping creep. Also, I got the impression from conversations that she might just kiss guys recreationaly from time to time, and I don't have a problem with that, even though personally, practically every kiss I have ever had has been the beginning of a relationship. I'm guessing that I need to get over that and accept that this was simply an in-the-moment thing. But, my biggest question is, "How do you do life and stuff?" When I got married, almost no one had ever heard of texting, and I wasn't able to participate in the life of a friend of a friend via posts on Facebook. I seem to know enough to not actually bring up the kissing, but maybe I'm wrong about that. You might even think that I showed an error in judgement by referring to her as "hooker" via text the next morning, but you also just read this entire thing, so you clearly have issues of some kind. So, should I just forget that it ever happened... or try to create an opportunity for it to happen again, and if so, how... or do I just clutch my KATG Week ticket in my hand and wait for the UN of Boobs?
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02-24-2013, 12:06 PM | #2 (permalink) |
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 89
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If your relationship with your wife has no chance of rebounding....then there is nothing to forget. The only problem is re-learning all of the skills, and mindsets of when you were once single. For me it was easier said than done. It was awkwardness around every turn with a new person. Am I talking to her right? How do I see her again? It seriously was like I was a teenager all over. The only thing that made me overcome it was to think long and hard about WHAT I WANTED and I went out and I got it. Instantly my persona changed because I wanted that relationship and/or that girl.
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02-26-2013, 08:17 AM | #4 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 928
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You are really intense, man.
You're seperated. This girl is fun and wild. There was a minor make out sesh. It's time to pat yourself on the back for kissing a pretty girl and move on. If it happens again - great. If not - who cares. My advice is to relax and start to think of (romantic) life in lighter terms. |
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Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
Check out the recent shows
Click here to get Keith and The Girl free on iTunes.
Click here to get the podcast RSS feed. Click here to watch all the videos on our YouTube channel. |
02-26-2013, 08:51 AM | #5 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,358
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Good lord man. Smoochin' chicks is the one thing that stops me from writing paragraphs about nonsense. Just smooch 'em.
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02-27-2013, 12:14 AM | #7 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 123
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Maybe this was one of those moments when I should have announced the less than significant amount of shits that I gave. I was just dumping thoughts.
I used to write a lot, and haven't in a long time, so this post was something like coughing up a hairball. |
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02-27-2013, 08:49 AM | #8 (permalink) |
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 4,690
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I enjoyed the writing. But I felt like you wanted approval for something where no approval was needed. Or you just wanted recognition.
Or you wanted many women to start throwing themselves at you. Or all of the above. |
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02-27-2013, 09:23 AM | #9 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 123
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I'll take approval if people are throwing it. Vagina and boob flavored approval is certainly preferred.
But, I do feel somewhat scummy about using the subject that I did, since I knew it was rather misleading about what kind of lasciviousness would be going on in here, so maybe I seek absolution for that. |
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