Wedding Faux Pas?
 

Since "weddin' season" is here, I find myself in an odd situation. Because of this odd situation, I ask you these questions:

Is it possible for a wedding guest to also be the MC/DJ?
Is it fair for the couple to ask this of their guest?

In my mind, I see them as clashing roles. For instance, a DJ is obligated to stay until the end of the reception, while a guest should be able to leave at his/her leisure. Overall, a DJ/MC is coordinating the events so that the reception runs smoothly so that the bride and groom don't have to worry about it. Also, a DJ is pretty attached to the music setup, while a guest is there to talk, dance, and enjoy the experience.

*Edited to reword question #1

I have no idea one way or the other. I got married by a judge. I'm the opposite of Miss Manners, but my gut instinct says the DJ and MC should be two different people. All I really have to go on there is Adam Sandler as the wedding singer.

But I don't see a problem with a guest being asked to perform one of the duties. If it's a good friend who just happens to be a DJ, I'm sure Quad would be more than happy to lend his talents to the happy couple.

So, no yes.

No, it is not fair or nice. You are no longer a guest, you are now the DJ, and you are expected to perform as such.

Its as Faux Pas as an inappropriate speech from the best man, or a guest drinking 'till they barf at the reception. I guess what I'm saying is although its not considered proper it often happens.

Alleviate some of the social unease by offering the MC/DJ first dibs on the bridesmaids. If all else fails a boom box playing the Cool Rock Compilation will melt hearts and move feet.

You, sir, are a prince among men.

Unless you're rich, a DJ will be just fine. However, don't make your friends do it. The reception is an overflow of friends and family. Don't make them uncomfortable, as it will be remembered for years to come. People always have a story or two about great weddings and bad weddings.

Ours was a bit of both. The reception hall double-booked, but after persuasion by a pregnant bride (Engaged for three years, and she gets pregnant the month before the wedding, typical.), they not only refund the money, but pay for another hall. The tuxedo didn't fit, and the haircut was too short for me, and when my sister tried to fix it, it ended up looking like an Alfalpha cut. My mother gets a speeding ticket on her way to pick me up. Her mother still doesn't know about it. Her brother gets so smashed, he shatters his drink in his hand. My wife got pregnant the month before the wedding, so her hormones are messed up beyond crazy.

However, nobody outside of our immediate family (and her bridesmaids) was involved in any of this, so all they saw was a nice, quaint wedding. My wife has since proudly told this story to everybody who asks about her wedding.

My wife's best friend (who was supposed to be the maid of honor, instead became a second matron of honor), got married on a whim, and ended up just using the church basement and a boom box. It was nice enough for them.

Basically, don't ask them. The DJ can be one of the cheapest parts of the wedding, so try to fit it in. If your friend offers their services without the slightest of hinting from you, then you might be able to work something out. For instance they know you haven't much money, and they already have equipment, or they're not part of the Wedding Party.

If this is the case, try not to be demanding of them. Get with them before-hand and try to set up a program of songs, so they can set it and go schmooze like a guest. If you do this, then they won't have to take requests, which is most of the DJ's job. You can usually predict the course of songs anyway, especially for a smaller wedding.

Remember I did say I didn't know what I was talking about. I knew what I was talking about when I said that.

Weddings are always tough on family and friends. We spend waaay to much money on 'em.

Circumstances are different. If funds are tight and friends are trustworthy and willings, I see no problem asking a friend to assist with the reception. Ideally the request would come sometime before the start of the reception.

Last year my oldest got married. I gave her a budget and told her anything left over was hers. She went cheap! She asked me to manage the music. I put together 3 hrs of love songs on an Ipod. I used the remote to switch to special songs at certain times. She also asked me to manage the food. I hired a caterer. I've got my limits.

Wait, so you're not getting paid for this? Any outside person being hired to perform as DJ/MC is getting paid.

If you're the DJ, you're just the DJ, and if you're a guest, then you're just a guest. Those two things are exclusive to each other, and it's overstepping the bounds of common courtesy for them to ask for otherwise.

I'd slap whoever asked you with a Spanish tampon.