Yeah, they'll push you off and chuckle a bit and then say, "Penis Overload!" while making a face.

It was cute at first, but jeez.

This is really true.

Denial of it is admission of never handing out a Penis Overload. I am using the logic of an evil dictator (which is the name of my penis, Evil Dictator. It was a close race between that and The Reaper. I spent many months deciding over it. Do you see how hard my life is? No pun).

I like Vlad the Impaler more.

This thread has too much penis, we need more vagina.

Which is the infinite sadness of the breakup thread.

I am not jealous. It was quite the opposite. I was out with friends one night, and he called me out of the blue screaming that I was a slut, a filthy slut and that I better come home right now or bad things will happen. I went home and found him cleaning all of of his shit out of my apt. I told him to leave but he wouldn't. He just kept screaming at me. Finally, I tried to grab my key from his hand and he attacked me. We were outside at this point. I ran up the stairs to the back door, and he was chasing me screaming at me that he was going to kill me. I locked my back door and he just kept pounding on it. I called the cops but he was gone before they arrived.

Three days later, I got a call from his "girlfriend". She told me they had been dating for 6 months. This was a little over 6 months ago. They're engaged and she's pregnant.

I'm currently in a successful long-distance, open relationship. He is most certainly welcome to talk to other women.


But then again, I could be a crazy jealous bitch, whateves. You don't have to date me.

It's been many many year since I dated, but I can honestly say it was me that blew it each and everytime.

You can really overdue the whole 'love' thing. I also learned there is a limit to wacky gifts you can give to someone before you revolt them.

I always needs to know where we stood. I needed to be loved.

All of these things are huge turn-offs to the ladies, as it turns out.

God, how I hate women, I mean myself.

I'll let you know, shouldn't be long now.

Huh, what, penis???

Ahem.

So...

Well...

(No. I MUST. NOT. ASK.)

AGGGGHHHH!

Was this the same guy that jizzed on you and pucnhed you in the head?

Sigh. Sorry Punks. Couldnt hold it.

hawt