What stresses you right now?
 

I loved when Keith talked about what stresses him right now. What about you?
Your stress?

Me:

1. my dog has heart problems. She is so far fit but needs medicine every day and there is no healing for this disease. She coughs sometimes more, sometimes less the medicine helps but some days are just worse, who knows what. I was at the vet and did expensive check ups but it’s not completely clear why she coughs. She is 12 and rather tall, so she might die soon. But I think for a year now that she could die soon. It’s stressful and makes me sad.

2. the new variants of Covid seem to be not great at all, and the people who got sick recently here had it bad. I don’t want it that’s for sure but also I don’t want another lockdown.

3. my company is in some kind of mega restructuring process how the company will look in 6 months is not really clear. People are nervous and it shows.

4. my therapy is soon over and I’m afraid how I will cope without.

I think we know what's stressing anyone who enjoys reproductive rights in the US right now.

Shit sucks here.

What's stressing me, I'm M29,

What seems to be permanent pain in the heel of my right foot, I have to walk around a bit after being off it to get it to subside. I'm afraid it'll be for life and it will lead to disfiguring my foot like a bunion.

Pain in my lower back at the moment, I think it's kidney stones. If I sit for s while and then get up its I'm doubled over in pain and leaning to one side to compensate for the pain. It's manageable after walking around a bit but still ever present.

Rent. Shits expensive, my lease renewal is coming up and I'm afraid they're gonna price me out of here. It's california so supposedly it can be a max of 3% increase but idk. With the way the world is going what with law not being respected idk if I can trust that they won't raise it more than 3%.

My heart is stressing me just now.

I was diagnosed with paroxymal Atrial Fibrillation back in 2015. First episode was in 2015, and they local medics here didn't want to cardio convert me here and put me on meds. After 13 days, I finally converted in my sleep on my birthday. Since then I didn't have any real issues for a few years, another episode in 2017 and maybe one in 2018. In that time, I trained and hit a lot of my goals for cycling and triathlon. I won a national title cycling on the track, competed at worlds, trained for an completed a number of shorter triathlons, two half ironmans and a full ironman. (3.8 KM swim, 180 km bike and then run a marathon) Really fortunate to be able to do these things that I love and that keep me fit and healthy.

During Covid and lockdowns, I had more frequent episodes, culminating in one where it felt really bad. Essentially your heart rate is off and not regular, and because of blood pooling there is a risk of stroke. Fed up with my local hospital, I drove to one about 45 minutes away at 3am, where I was cardio converted via a defibrillator. Since then I have been on meds that if I go into afib and stay there for six hours, I take four pills and I am good after that.

This year in Feb/March, every time I went for a training run, (I swim four times a week, bike three and run three times in the winter), I would go into Afib after coming home. I would have to take the pills, and rest for a day. So I called the cardio clinic and was put on the pills every day.

Now from the start of 2019, I was on the list to get an ablation, which helps this condition. What they do is image the heart while in afib, see where the mis-fires are coming from and zap those heart cells at that location, via a wire put in thru your femoral artery. Then new "pathways" take over and the bad pathways that get out of sync, no longer can trigger the AFIB. Because of covid, the "about a year" wait has turned into three years.

With this past Feb/March, attacks I have been on pills every day, which has two purposes, it keeps my heart rate low and I am thirsty all the time. The being thirsty is actually good because I drink a lot more water and I am better for it.

The low heart rate is a different story, if I get up too fast sometimes I get dizzy, when I train it takes about 30 - 40 minutes for me to warm up, so this adds time and I can't train as I like.

Now before you say how privleged this is, I am well aware of how lucky I am to still even do these things. However, this is my heart and when I have these issues it is disconcerting and I am hyper aware of it. Any itch in my chest or pain in my left arm, it gives me concern etc. Any flutter feeling lying in bed at night is the same.

Along with this, my youngest son didn't get along with his Mom anymore, (my ex-wife) and came to live with me and he is struggling with some things, Both my two elder sons lost their jobs at the start of Covid, and it was a struggle to help them stay afloat, and since stress is a trigger for the Afib episodes, well this has not been fun

I’m about to give notice on my job of 34 years.

Are you retiring?

I’m not. I’m “only” 55. I’m going to be a consultant for a similar company. If I was retiring I wouldn’t be stressed. I’d be dancing.

You seem to be in demand. So thats good.

Im so stressed with my dog I think because my last dog collapsed on a walk without prior health problems. I had the kids with me, had to carry the dog, a german Sheppard mix, into our backyard and she died there in the next 5 minutes. The dog was only 9.

Now with my brain I very often thought, now it's happening again. It did not so far.

made appointments to replace my birth control implant and get Bear a vasectomy (lol with MY regular urologist.) it’s the only feeling of control to be had.

my nerves are already pretty shot.

it looks like hostage negotiation might be on the table for Sarge. Zelensky made a lovely public statement about getting both Sarge and Andy home. we’re staying encouraged.

Bear took us for a weekend getaway to a River. it was nice to take full breaths at least for a moment.