OMG... I didn't even think of that! lolz

I know where he is...

This one isn't really a horrible thing, but it JUST happened about 20 mins ago and I want to tell the story.

Okay, so I was riding my bike through a park that they closed so they can set up the rides and midway because we're having a fair in a few days. It felt like riding through the abandoned amusement park on Scooby Doo.

I see a golf cart coming, and I know that's park rangers (the parks around here are closed from 11pm-8am, especially with all those free fair rides set up) and I book it (it IS a golf cart, and I know the area really well) and golf cart guy gets on his walkie talkie. I hear him describe where we are, and what I'm wearing, so I know he's talkin' to the federales. I get to the entrance of the park just as a cop car turns on the street a block away, and turns towards me and the park, so I ride the other direction, and cut through some alleyways/walking paths that I knew cars couldn't go on (and most people don't know about) in a large loop, and I'm back at the entrance of the park where I started, but the cop and golf cart guy aren't there, so I start riding home, and see another cop, just as I get near my house.

I cut through another big park that's all woodsy (so I knew they couldn't follow me in) and came out on the other side about a block away from my house. As I'm sneaking back in (via the roof) a cop drives down my street really slowly looking around, so I had to lay flat on my back on my roof and wait for him to pass, then came back in my room.

I win, coppers!

... if it weren't for those meddling kids!

When I was 18 or 19, I fooled around with a girl. Then, I told all my friends and a few of hers that I got her naked and left her alone in my parents' house, even though it didn't really happen. She didn't like me very much after that.

Now, she works with my sister-in-law and I'm pretty sure I'll have to interact with her at some point.

I've got three or four "worst thing I've ever done" things, and they all can be blamed on my dick in some way or another.

quality.:D

I can't think of a bad thing for me (my life is clearly so fulfilling...), but when my brother was about 11 or something our lodger taught him to paint polystyrine red so it looks like a brick and then throw it at cars. It would do nothing to the car, but the driver would have the shit scared out of him. Strangely enough my mum thought it would be a good idea to date our lodger 10 years later...

Worst thing I think, at least the thing I feel most guilty about is leaving my mobile phone in my girlfriend's sister's bedroom (she was 19, I was 20, so no age thing I want to hastenly add), with video recorder going when I knew she was about to get changed. She saw the mobile (obviously not as well hidden as I had hoped) and obviously stopped it, put on some clothes and came in and threw it at me saying something like "I think you left this". No accusation, no nothing. It's wierd, there has always been a sexual tension between us that if I weren't with my other half I'd want to explore, but we've never spoke of it since. It still tugs at my guilt though the way I violated her privacy. It's not like happening to watch her get changed by accident, I obviously did it on purpose, so yeah, I feel pretty bad about it. She's still real nice to me most of the time though when I think about it I know I don't deserve that. But yeah, that's one of the worst things I've ever done.

The worst thing i ever did was probably when i was like 9 and i was at a family gathering at the park. My cousin (who seemed pretty fruity) was like 5 and would not stop following me. I then proceded to run across a small road that divides the park in two while a car was coming. My cousin got launched by this old guy in his minivan about 10 ft back while i ran to the other side of the road. I remember i heard a fuking CLUMP when his head hit the ground. Anyway there was a small bridge which I used to get back to the other side where the family was. Shit I, still remember his mom crying her fucking eyes out. I hope that consussion didn't make him even gayer.

WOW CHEESE YOU ARE SO BAD ASS AND AWESOME. YOU NEED A TV SERIES.

I got the heads up from my ex's best friend that she was coming to my house to break up with me. I made a tuna, jam and cheese sandwich with special ingredient sperm. She ate the sandwich and did not complain at all. I know ya most be thinking so what she never had your juice in her mouth before?... No she had some weird kind of OCD about sperm and never wanted it on her. One time I finished on her belly and she ran to the bathroom as if she had to wash acid of her skin. While she started the oyu know is not you is me speech I interrupted her to tell her what she just had eaten. She gave me a look as if she just saw a ghost, turned quietly and have not spoken to me since.