1959: Wrestling with Emotions

[dannyhatch]

with Mike Recine

Working as a junk remover for hoarders, Stephen Colbert is replacing David Letterman, pranking Oprah, Keith was out of line watching WrestleMania, Titanfall, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in Rolling Stone, Katherine Heigl sues Duane Reade for $6,000,000


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[Keith]

Vote in the poll before you read. This will spoil the outcome.

Yes, it is sad to learn. I expected a whole party talking shit and maybe I didn't recognize they weren't.

It was very fun to do the John Cena You Can't See Me and go against everyone at the party yelling NO! NO! NO!

Adam Brown and Dan Soder (another guest at the party) talk about how they know they're assholes when they watch sports and they need to be around specific people that can handle it. To me, I can't imagine they could be so bad, but I guess they recognize what I don't: my "party level" of sports (entertainment and otherwise) requires me to recognize that the majority of people will find it to be too much.

Again, it wasn't booze. While I left drunk, I got my first "calm down" from Mr. Lawrence while I was 100% sober, and I thought it registered that time as well. Obviously it didn't.

I'll come with a warning next time. "I yell shit. I'm okay not being invited. I interact with the TV in a big way."


And now I need to hear from you reading this how YOU embarrassed yourself at a party.

[WittyReference]

It was so hard to listen to the end about the dog. I've had nightmares about our cat getting stuck inside with no one to feed her. Plus I haven't slept well so this hit my like a lead weight. Fuck that woman. The punishment was nowhere near enough.

[TAFKAP]

I embarrass myself at parties all the time. It's a PARTY. It's not a library. It's not a classroom. It's not a golf tournament. It's not a place where you would be expected to act tame.

This is my understanding in terms of etiquette:
Unless there were noise complaints from neighbors, people sleeping in the house, or if you were acting in a way that was overtly offensive (which I doubt) it's rude and improper for a host to tell a guest to "calm down" and potentially embarrass the guest when all he's doing is participating and having fun!

Is there something you're not telling us, Keith? Might you have gotten in someone's face and offended them without realizing it? Were you yelling in peoples' ears and spilling drinks and making a mess? Were you starting fights and cursing people out in an aggressive, non-playful way? Was it a cocktail party or gala that you mistook for a Wrestlemania viewing party?

If the answer to all of these is "no," then I really think Keith was treated unfairly. I wasn't there, but this party sounds like it sucked.

[Keith]

LOL

The answer to all those is indeed "no."

But it didn't suck. It was so much fun!

At least the way I was playing it...

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Keith

And now I need to hear from you reading this how YOU embarrassed yourself at a party.

misreading a room once in a blue moon ain't a thing, chéri. in my first place, i spent an entire summer partying, drinking too much, getting mad as hell for no reason, and throwing my boyfriend's beer bottles into the yard--mostly full; i was taking them out of his hand/mouth and chuckin' 'em all smug. before i moved out, i asked my brother to mow the lawn. proved difficult. i went on some bullshit rampage about why in god's name there were beer bottles everywhere. they looked at me like i had 3 assholes. i hadn't remembered any of it. they then had to tell me. whoops!

still gets brought up 10 years later.

[Keith]

I forgot to mention I pissed on the TV as though I were pissing on the Undertaker, if that's important.

[WittyReference]

You guys are in such a weird position where you're having you're behaviour and opinions challenged every day and a whole audience ready to remind you of old things you've said as well. Sounds like hell. Most of us can self justify our behaviour away. It probably wasn't that big a deal but the fact you feel bad and are reflecting on it will only be a good thing. Or you could call Mike and talk to him.

[BrianAlt]

Originally Posted by Keith

I forgot to mention I pissed on the TV as though I were pissing on the Undertaker, if that's important.

It's only important if you were blocking the screen while you were doing it. That would be downright rude!

[swiggy]

I'd like to take a second about the hoarding issue brought up on today's episode. Chemda, you don't have to worry, you're not a hoarder. Yes, we get attached to items, but if it causes so much internal pain that you stay in bed for two days later (in the actual sense, literally), or you blow up at the person who is even touching the item, then no, you're not a hoarder.

Hoarding is one (of many) reasons my folks are splitting after 35+ years of marriage. The stuff replaced us. My father loved his things more than he loved us. Not only this, my father didn't need just one of something, he needed multiples. If we tried to rationally explain to him why the extra was not necessary, he would explode. Once, it got so bad, police were almost called.

There was one room we gutted, after 28 years, I finally know the colour of the carpet. It's blue.

This isn't just new things, there were boxes upon boxes upon boxes of things piled to the ceiling (7 feet roughly). Things such as collectibles with no actual value, newspaper clippings going way back to the 1950's, wrappers, tissues (Kleenex), Q-Tips, pens, markers, erasers (none usable), exercise equipment that was rusted & unsafe to use, multiple damaged electronics, yard equipment, bicycles that were unusable due to damage, multiple unopened CD/DVD cases "just in case we needed them", dented helmets, lanyards, WWII stuff (fake), coats, boots, shoes, instruments that were rusted or broken, just... A fuck tonne of everything you can think of. There's so much stuff that I'm absolutely certain I'm forgetting a lot of it. that we were not allowed to touch or throw away. He would freak out at us.

I lived in that house like this for a long time, growing up there. When I was 8, I realized my room turned into the same thing, stepping on empty cans of pop, chip bags, toys & wrappers etc and it wouldn't bother me, for no reason at all, to throw it away. It became almost like a big blanky. Thank goodness I realized something was wrong. I gutted the room, and when my father found out, well, I didn't come out without some hits and a lot of verbal abuse.

"What if you threw away something valuable?"
"I could have used that!"
"I needed one of those!"
"Our neighbours are going to make fun of you for putting out all those bags of garbage. How shameful!"
"STOP. DON'T."
"YOU CAN'T THROW THAT OUT."
"WE NEED THIS."
"I CAN REUSE THAT (complete soiled)"

... Among others.

We lived in a two level bungalow, most spots were impassable, stepping on so much stuff. We were limited to a few accessible spots in the house. Not only that, but if myself or my mother were not there, forget about cleanliness. The toilet was overflowing with toilet paper and urine, only time to flush was when he shit. Dust, cobwebs, bugs, the nines. The sink would constantly be full of dishes, with stagnant water, for days. If I tried to clean them, I would get yelled at because "I'd break something". Any attempt to clean was a daily fight, but eventually, my "teen rebellion", I'd vacuum anyway. "You probably vacuumed up something important" then he would go outside, rip open the bag and go through the dust and debris.

Now, as the separation is happening and we were still living there, to be able to get the ball rolling, when he was asleep, we we would do all nighters, dumping and donating bags upon bags of stuff. I guarantee that two of the local used clothing & good stores is basically one room of my old basement.

I'm including two pictures so you may see what I mean, I wish to make clear, my mother and I had these rooms empty last time we left. Last I visited, they got worse. It's an uphill battle, really. We're attempting to get him out of that house to sell (in a way, he's hoarding the house itself now), and I didn't take pics when it was at its worse. Kinda wish I did.

Room 1
Room 2 (apparently, there's a bed in behind there, somehow)