Keith and The Girl

1245: Re: Joyce

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:45:00 +0000

"If somebody shoots me, look into him first."

1244: Read All About It

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"I eat AIDS for breakfast!"

1243: All Grown Up

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"You're about to get some real shit dropped on your lap."

1242: GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Can you imagine a show begging people not to listen?"

1241: Cat Calling

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I knew how I felt. I knew that I've never felt this way about anything."

1240: God & Guns

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"How much dick do I have to suck to show I'm not homophobic?"

1239: Crazy Awesome

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm sorry that I had an opinion on a person that started a show with, 'Fuck me in the ass. Fuck me in the ass.'"

1238: Mayor May Not

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I became Mayor of The Airport Bathroom."

1237: Bad Egg

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:59:00 +0000

"It's such an embarrassing moment. What do you say?"

1236: Be Nice

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I think you have too much sensitivity and not enough sense of humor."

1235: Copywrong

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"I wish I left before the show started."

1234: Nerdtopia

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"This is worse than meat on your crotch."

1233: American Idiot

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm crying over a fuckin' book! Of course I'm not gonna read!"

1232: Bloody Mary

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 03:59:00 +0000

"Kill all Jews?"

1231: CryingChicks.com

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Can't find innocent car; you can't look."

1230: Vaseline

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"There's gonna be some drinkin', some creepin', and definitely some fights."

1229: Meet the Parents

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I bet he's gonna try to take that can of beans upside my head."

1228: Fight or Flight

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"You were a sour-faced bitch today."

1227: Fried Salad

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm bringing a priest and an executioner. We'll see which one I use."

1226: Kryptonite Status

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm just gonna handcuff you to the tree, and I'll be right back."

1225: Clearing the Air

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 03:59:00 +0000

"This is bigger than anyone getting shot."

1224: A Case of the Thursdays

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I don't say anything that I don't intend to confront in person if necessary."

1223: I Find It Funny

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000

Their common hate in me brought them together."

1222: 100%

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I just found out today I'm not the Devil."

1221: That Ain't Right

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Do you think that you will enjoy living the rest of your life in a prison cell? Do you think that you will enjoy living your eternity in the fires of Hell?"

Can You Imagine? trailer

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 16:00:00 +0000

KATG.com/store

1220: Fat Chance

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Look at yourself. And look what you've done. Look what you've fucking done!"

1219: Bonehead

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"I should’ve woken you up and said, 'Fucking blow me, bitch!'"

1218: Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"That's because you're a fucking using whore!"

1217: Another Time

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"I will make your goddamn life miserable!"

1216: Titty Abuse

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 03:59:00 +0000

"I am fighting these children and breaking their nose."

1215: Fighting Styles

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Your dad's dead and and my dad's dead, so probably we can bang, right?"

1214: Time Out

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000

"Muslims are on a time out till they get their shit together."

1213: Blackout

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"Let's blackout!!!"

1212: Hot Box

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"I feel sorry for the Nazis."

1211: Can You Imagine?

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I'm becoming a nerd sympathizer! I hated them!"

1210: Last Comic Standing

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

1209: The N-Word

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"You sound so stupid. You sound aggressively stupid right now."

1208: Gentlemen Power

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

1207: Weird Science

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

1206: Smoke Weed Every Day

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Wait, I'm not drunk? Well then I lost!"

1205: Whistleblower

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

1204: A Right Good Scrum

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"We're talkin' about, 'You're fuckin' my mom.'"

1203: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"You're now up for a Keith and The Girl Award."

KATGtv 33: A Few Goat Men

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:00:00 +0000

1202: Puppet Master

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Wow. That was incredible. Best Salvia trip on the internet."

1201: Explain Yourself

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I'm barbecuing naked. I can do what I want now. Freedom."

33: Sliding Down

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:00:00 +0000

We continue to meet the KATG interns as Newsy shares his feelings through Salvia

1200: The Guest House

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"When I fuck a cow, I think, 'Safety first.'"

KATGtv 32: Cactus Joe

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 22:30:00 +0000

Kyle the Intern smokes some Salvia and meets one Cactus Joe

1199: The Pursuit of Happiness

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Save money, yeah, save money. Save money. Fuck, I wanna eat God dammit!"

1198: Bobbie Johnson

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"You fucked me, and a thousand repo-men with a thousand tow-trucks can never take that back."

1197: Ass to Mouth

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"It's a poison in your house, this fuckin' washcloth."

1196: I Don't

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:00:00 +0000

"This ain't no Day Late Dollar Short Tour, baby. Get on board, 'cause the steamboat's leavin' on time."

1195: Chicken Soup for the Dick

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Fate happens for a reason."

1194: No Apologies

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Did you play the skin flute?"

1193: Totes Inappropes

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I'm really trying to save you time. We're never gonna be friends."

1192: Put 'Em Up

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I want everybody to know this wasn't my idea. I had no problem holding a camera; I'm just saying this wasn't necessarily my idea."

1191: The Morning After

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I don't owe you anything. My life is more important than your entertainment."

1190: A Whole New World

Fri, 28 May 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"He can be Lawrence of my labia."

1189: Cunt

Thu, 27 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Don't be a cunt if you don't wanna be called a cunt!"

1188: Hoodlums

Wed, 26 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I need to do what I need to do."

1187: Fuck Yeah; Suck Yeah

Tue, 25 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna twitter my cum. Wha ya think a that?"

1186: Cat Power

Mon, 24 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"This angst that you have is from you!"

1185: Double Down

Fri, 21 May 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"He told me what ya did!"

1184: Madagascar

Thu, 20 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex."

1183: Model Citizen

Wed, 19 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Keith with shoes on is like Pamela Anderson not showing her chest."

1182: Acid Comedy

Tue, 18 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I think I hate a fourth of my audience. They're fuckin' idiots!"

1181: Liars & Friends

Mon, 17 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Myq proposed to Myka."

1180: Punk'n Pie

Fri, 14 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"This show is for Americans first, above all!"

1179: Artsy Fartsy

Thu, 13 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I don't like Chemda's attitude lately."

1178: BOP!

Wed, 12 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Mercury? I don't even know Hermes."

1177: Cheese with Your Whine?

Tue, 11 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Jesus Fuckin' Christ, how dumb are you?! FUUUCK!!!"

1176: Higher Learning

Mon, 10 May 2010 13:00:00 +0000

"I'm just saying what I heard."

1175: Toilet Parts

Fri, 07 May 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"I think I'm gonna feed my kids lead paint as a favor."

1174: Transformers

Thu, 06 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I'm sorry if my appearance offended you in any way."

1173: Danny Lobell Me Once...

Wed, 05 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Every time you've been on my show, you're lying to me."

1172: Danny's Last Show

Tue, 04 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I think Danny is going to die."

1171: The Very Best of Keith and The Girl

Mon, 03 May 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I had a friend that was a Nazi."

1170: Get Over It

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"86% of people are okay with what I have done."

1169: Rush

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:00:00 +0000

"They show this rape scene, and I masturbated to it."

1168: The Key of Awesome

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I'm willing to fight you for charity."

1167: Tattoo You

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"You're not as nice as you think, and, with all sincerity, you should look into that."

1166: America Fuck Yeah!

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I made a difference today! I burned a flag in the woods!"

1165: Sound Off

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Don't you see the difference between people laughing at you and laughing with you?"

1164: HUH?!

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I stopped listening to this episode the instant that retarded shit that fell out of Keith's mouth twenty minutes in."

1163: Sign Mr Up

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"It's a very big day for people who like weed."

1162: I Got a Globe!

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Did you just Internet threaten me?!"

1161: Hide and Seek

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"He had his dick out, yelled, "I'm a helicopter. Jean-Claude Van Damme."

1160: In Da Club

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"We're the only white people in here! Holy shit! We can get beat up any time! This is awesome!"

1159: The Awkward Comedy Show

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"I'm white, and I disagree!"

1158: Bad Boy of Comedy

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"You ever fuck a girl with her own tits?"

1157: Pants on Fire

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna chalk it up to maybe the bald guy is having a massive period."

1156: Sowwy

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Don't take all this jovial humor as though I were not riled up. I am thoroughly riled up today, I'll tell you."

1155: Size Matters

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"We got to gifts I've gotten from hookers."

1154: Shit Disturber

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Go have yourself a loaf!"

1153: Moody

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"She better be there, this bitch!"

1152: The Daily American

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"This is old school Somerset passive-aggressiveness."

1151: Somebody's Watching Me

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Your ears bleed after talking to her because you strain so hard. And I think I've said yes to a lot of things I probably shouldn't have."

1150: Inside The Woman

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"What do you think about this idea: The Strap-On Asshole?"

1149: Home-o-phobia

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"Are you on some sort of prescribed medication, unprescribed medication, illicit drugs or one too many intoxicating drinks?"

1148: Dare to Dream

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"They're gonna take your baby away."

1147: Ball-Staplin' Good

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Keith and Chemda's collection of the books - so brilliant my balls look like Swiss cheese."

1146: Fat and The Whore

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"omgz keeth and the gilr are piesus of shit."

1145: Blindsided

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:30:00 +0000

"Thank God for Nazis."

1144: The Blob

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

"I like hanging with Keith, but I'm just afraid he'll make a poll about me."

1143: New and Notable

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"Get out! Go to Anger Management Training."

1142: Uplifting

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:00:00 +0000

"And that's how I almost had butt sex."

1141: What Do We Do Now?

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:59:00 +0000

"How do I get my girlfriend to douche?"

1140: No Respect

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Somebody knows about my cracked glass!"

1139: Truth in Comedy

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Everyone started laughing, and I got raped in the ass and the mouth."

1138: Five Years Down

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:30:00 +0000

"God bless America. And the authors of this book."

1137: The 76-Hour Podcast

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:00:00 +0000

"How we doing on time?"

1136: The Waste Monster

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Honey, come here. Whip out your tits. Show Nick."

1135: Authors

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Hey, I'm having trouble with this Rape!"

1134: Rape!

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Shit is too crazy now. You get some girl in your car, next thing you know you're in fuckin' prison for four years."

1133: Be Human

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Do you know what happened in your life just now? A porn!"

1132: Pledge Your Allegiance

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Are penises disgusting?"

1131: Homeland Security

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"I'm gonna put a Tolerable Curse on you. Beanbag! Beanbag!"

1130: Really, Keith?

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Free for all, kids. Bring your guns to school; bring your markers."

1129: Cerebral

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Just get me off and leave me out of it."

Adam, Eve, Keith and Chemda

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Use referral code KATG at AdamAndEve.com for free gifts and 50% off almost every item.

1128: Too Fat to Fly

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Did your dad touch his tongue to your penis?"

1127: Stereo Crazies

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"Self-esteem is on the Dollar Menu."

1126: Jambalaya

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:00:00 +0000

"I feel like a piece of shit."

1125: Oh Boy

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Is it wrong that I want to look at your asshole?"

1124: Let's Put It This Way

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Now you know. I'm a freak."

1123: Here We Go

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I always got punched as a kid. I never understood it."

1122: Diane's Breasts

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"I think my uncle just raped me."

1121: The Tits

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"You want to talk to me like you're a basic bitch, then cool."

KATGtv 31: Little Baby Faggot

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:00:00 +0000

IT'S FUNNY CAUSE IT'S true: The story of Little Baby Faggot

1120: Love Your Pet

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"What do I gotta do? Be under my bed fuckin' a cat?"

KATGtv 30: Man vs. Machine

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:00:00 +0000

Keith tries his hand at technical support

1119: I See You

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna mix it in my mouth."

1118: Who Farted?

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"90% of people say Mark Sanchez is a douche bag."

1117: Sign Here

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"You had to be a little bit of a bitch, huh? Right on, man. Now you know who we are."

1116: iKATG

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"Keith and The Girl has its fiftieth (50) body modification."

1115: Bad Little Boy

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I put a baby in the dishwasher."

1114: Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout?

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 23:00:00 +0000

"When is it appropriate to lie under the forks of a forklift truck?"

1113: Sexpert

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"I'm gonna cut the motherfucker's index finger off."

1112: King Arthur's Court

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I was attempting to be serious, but you're unteachable."

1111: I Want to Kill You

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I am definitely not blowing up the airport."

1110: Don't Touch the Talent

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I think it was out of my system when I fucked you in my dad's church."

1109: Communication Breakdown

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"I tried to get everything to bite me. A dog... I thought I'd be The Wolfman."

1108: Who Needs Dead

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"Stop punching me in the nads!"

1107: We are at War!

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"I'm the healthiest in this room. I promise you."

1106: 2nd Annual KATGuh Award Winners

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:00:00 +0000

"Just like you, I'm another Little Baby Faggot."

1105: Toilet Humor

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"For a guy with one ball, this guy has a lotta guts."

1104: Everything You Need to Know About Women

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"I'm trying to sleep with you. I don't know you. Is that disgusting?"

1103: Giving a Flying Fuck

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:00:00 +0000

"You can't be crackin' no keg if you ain't hittin' no forty."

1102: Psycho Competitive

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

"The only way I can lose is if I don't win."

1101: 2nd Annual KATGuh Awards

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

"I know I'm being recorded!"

BEGINNINGS 36: Potluck

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:00:00 +0000

195: Tattletales (BEGIN-17:00) New Year's, wine anxiety, Dick Clark, and the prodigal Chemda visits her folks.

165: The Girl, M.D. (14:30-36:30) Keith's quaint little teen rebellion, the subtle distinction between farts and faaahts, mixing fun pills with funner booze, and WifeSwap.

170: In The Barrio (41:00-54:00) Some Curry controversy, and a drunken night out with The Grabber.

173: Free Booze (25:30-32:45) Dead mouse in the tub, and Chemda takes a trip at the dentist's.

175: How to Kill Your Baby (37:00-46:30) Family planning for shitheads.

178: Find Keith a Job (39:00-48:15) Patrice draws the ire of some "fans," and The Man gets his comeuppance.

192: Cinnamon Bread (8:45-12:30) Keith gets up close and personal with vermin.

193: Spooky Visits (BEGIN-21:30) Spooky's first appearance, home renovation, getting robbed by a dog, dead body stories, bum scavenger hunts, plane crashes.

194: The Desires of Desiree (28:00-34:45) Keith's first holiday season in the big city, and Chemda's alter-ego hits the Limelight.

BEGINNINGS 35: Retail Fail

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

163: $$$ (22:45-28:10) Outing Sulu, and a listener lends his time to get TGAN printed.

168: Venus and My Cock (35:30-41:30) The sad state of West Coast cuisine.

171: Rockstar (BEGIN-8:30) Los Angeles: Great wrecks, piss-poor Hooters.

176: Apology Accepted (BEGIN-23:00) Apology Monday. Reflections on a shit night out at Jekyll & Hyde, the Dreadtone CD release party and Keith among the hippies, live comedy, and the BroLo syndrome.

188: Encore (3:15-38:30) Johnny Rockets, In & Out, co-op gripes, laptops and laptop crashes, RadioShack has no answers, mic hygiene.

193: Spooky Visits (54:30-1:03:45) TGAN follow-up.

BEGINNINGS 34: A Lotta Spunk

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

175: How to Kill Your Baby (BEGIN-30:00) Patrice's job gets weird...er. More from the fascinating career of hooker booking.

185: I Have a Bomb (35:30-42:00) Britney makes decent jerk-fodder.

186: Love Letters (39:30-54:00) Brad's breakup letter and more relationship origins.

191: So Sue Me (18:45-26:50) Jizz on the carpet, and jizz from above.

192: Cinnamon Bread (2:30-4:30) A brief follow-up from the goo bombardier.

195: Tattletales (47:20-50:00) A touching coming of age story from Ireland, and Keith's tentative jerk-retching.

BEGINNINGS 33: Mary the Cunt

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

195: Tattletales (17:00-41:45) Keith lands an office temp job, and has a bad first day...

196: Revenge (0:30-13:15, 42:30-46:00) ...a worse second day...

197: Mission Accomplished (BEGIN-0:45, 13:30-30:05) ...but a triumphant third and final day.

BEGINNINGS 32: Hitting the Pavement

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

177: It's Not Me, It's You (7:30-30:00) A critique of the film "Fever Pitch" lapses into a discussion of Boston, ex-girlfriend Kara, and marathon tomfoolery.

178: Find Keith a Job (BEGIN to 34:00) Keith goes temporarily insane, and think he's a douchey morning jock. Topics include interns, money trouble, maid service, job hunting, resumes, and Chemda's chealing chands.

181: Finish Her! (33:15-41:15) The One-Eyed Jedi strikes again.

184: How to Build a Resume (7:00-22:00) Keith's trip to the job fair.

BEGINNINGS 31: Crappy Holidays

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

191: So Sue Me (43:30-44:45) Christmas re-gifting.

189: Three's Company (BEGIN-8:15) Holiday plans, stamps, and the Old Man wants to sparkle the co-op.

193: Spooky Visits (23:30-54:30) Kwanzaa at the mall, social experimentation on the subway, visiting Keith's brother for Xmas, game night, and family reminiscing.

190: Sexual Content (22:45-26:00) A little gift advice for the love struck.

194: The Desires of Desirée (BEGIN-26:30) Patrice's Xmas, and how to shop for gifts at the mall with the very ones for whom you're shopping.

218: Cool (14:45-16:45) The very anticlimactic post-script to the Old Man glitter scheme.

BEGINNINGS 30: Sorry, Larry (Expo, Part Two)

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

171: Rockstar (29:15-50:45) More convention talk, and Chemda runs into an old flame.

174: Smell the Roses (27:15-38:30) The rather interesting story of podcaster Corby of The Twisted Pickle lapses into infidelity talk.

184: How to Build a Resume (22:00-30:00) Podshow wants you to QYDJ, and all it costs is your eternal soul.

173: Free Booze (BEGIN-25:30) Pilfering beverages from all the expo parties, and that BroLo guy again.

BEGINNINGS 29: Expo, Part One

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

168: Venus and My Cock (BEGIN-15:15, 20:00-34:00) From Venice, CA. Keith and Chemda dangerously set up all their gear in the hotel room to bitch about the flight out. Keith does some crippled dancing at a Bat Mitzvah, and SpongeBob meets a one-eyed pirate.

169: Nice to Know Ya, California (BEGIN-17:45) Having had a chance to absorb a first impression, Keith and Chemda talk about LA, meet some fans, and discuss Drinker's Dumps, post offices and politics.

171: Rockstar (8:30-27:30) Expo, redux. Keith calls some shit-talkers out, and meet Dawn and Drew. The Grabber breaks down the tech exhibitors.

BEGINNINGS 28: My Mom Would Be So Proud

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

188: Encore (38:30-40:30) Chemda meets a pretty girl at the airport.

181: Finish Her! (7:30-24:30) Chemda and "Miss X" go for a late night massage.

189: Three's Company (12:15-27:30) "Quizzical in Queens" wants to know how to manage a menage.

190: Sexual Content (11:15-23:00) All about hittin' the ass, and Keith's little friend.

183: Business Solutions (15:00-22:30) Chemda turns thirty, and contemplates her new sexual maturity.

190: Sexual Content (39:45-47:30) More back door action, and getting caught in the act.

BEGINNINGS 27: Johnsons, Greenwich, Dickheads

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:00:00 +0000

164: Lo Ya-Fe (5:00-38:00) Classic Clown Monday, featuring Double Dare in a padded room in Connecticut, and the Genesis of Glitter Revenge.

167: Movin' On Up (30:00-46:00) Chemda encounters a group of fragrant pop 'n lockers, and does a Glamour Girl diva-job in a diva-room with no electrical diva-outlets.

180: Idiot Box (1:00-6:00) Keith parties with some young paint-huffers.

186: Love Letters (8:00-23:00) Keith gets promoted to Red Wiggle, experiences more gratuity weirdness, and phones in a pirate job.

1100: Leave It Alone

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"Can't grab a dick with a backhand."

1099: Instant Message

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Does Jonas like cottage cheese?"

1098: Dance Party

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"I'll punch you in the fuckin' mouth if you're 18!"

1097: A+

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"He had to be rougher with me, and I would have fucked him."

1096: Funny Stuff

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"We're gettin' too old for pussy paintin'."

KATGtv 29: Keith Malley

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:30:00 +0000

Keith performs stand-up in NYC

1095: How to Be a Vampire

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Don't be a fuckin' jerk off! This place is fuckin' Party Central!"

1094: Jerk Off McGoo

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"Just want to suck each other off and get some work done."

1093: Jerk Off from Way Back

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"A dude punches a girl in the face, and I wasn't necissarily on her side."

1092: In the Bushes

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:30:00 +0000

“You hold the door open for the world forever; you’re never gonna get inside.”

1091: Good Morning!

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Sometimes the show makes you discover what a fuckin' retard you are."

1090: How Good Was I?

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"He was LOLing all over his stomach."

1089: Disowned

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Somebody always wants to jerk off in something."

1088: Father of the Year

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"In court they actually talked about Brumski."

1087: Paris Hilton for President

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"People hate me."

1086: Rules of Engagement

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"I'm not done with you yet. Not by a long shot!"

1085: #3

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"Tonight I'm gonna fuckin' suck ya."

1084: Unfriend

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"You're on my Not Allowed list!"

1083: Snake Eyes

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"I'll let a girl know before she's about to go down on me that way it's not a surprise."

1082: Game Over

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"I don't care! You're not sucking me in!"

1081: Excellence in Adequacy

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Your marriage is based on a lie already."

1080: Respect My Privacy

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"The teachers tell me to put the baby under my seat. That's ridiculous!"

1079: The Real Dough Face

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"I can't even anymore."

KATGtv 28: Pat Dixon and Jesse Joyce

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:00:00 +0000

100 for 30: Pat Dixon and Jesse Joyce

1078: Magic Underwear

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I actually considered taking my own life."

1077: I'm Happy

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Don't cut yourself unless it's from a good place."

1076: Perverted Justice

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"Ovaries, much?"

1075: Forever More

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You know what? She should be fearful of her life."

1074: I'm Not Your Mother

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"I bet you she has nothing nice to say about you, and you fucked her ten times."

1073: Yo Soy Demasiado Inteligente

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"You guys jerk off on webcams and stuff now?"

1072: A Killer Surprise

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"Don't even answer the door..."

1071: Champions

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Pedro Martinez looks like a koala fucked a retard."

1070: oooOOOooo Scaaarry...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I know you won't eat me."

1069: Potato Dick

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"I will drink all the shit out of my butt."

1068: Who Got Game?

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"Are you a whore?"

1067: On Air

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"I like him a lot. This hurts me."

1066: In This Economy

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"This is very offensive to the room. I know you're just half-retarded. And so you're forgiven."

1065: You Said It

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Peace, love and Keith and The Girl."

1064: Help Wanted

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Whose penis is that?"

1063: The Falcon Has Landed

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna be upset about this, and at the same time really happy."

KATGtv 27: Victor Varnado

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

100 for 30: Victor Varnado

1062: I Got Your Number

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"I'm very appalled. I didn't understand. I thought that you'd treat us with respect and dignity."

1061: Come Again?

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"He ain't wrong, but he ain't right."

1060: Information Overload

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"You're putting your penis in his daughter's vagina."

1059: Daddy Dearest

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I just got off the phone with your dad, Chemda, and he says you're lying."

1058: The Toilet Paper Diaries

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"I tell you everything. Just some things you can't fuckin' handle."

1057: For My Eyes Only

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You were gonna watch us having sex. It was kinda kinky, kind of interesting."

1056: The Nightmare

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"This is a girl laying on the floor, and you stomped on her."

1055: Never Have I Ever

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Nobody's leaving this alive."

1054: I'm Not an Asshole

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna fight this guy!"

KATGtv 26: The Hot Dog Eating Contest

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Keith, Myq Kaplan and Jeremy go for the gold

1053: Family Values

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"Have a sense of humor, Shithead."

1052: Get Smart

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Don't do acid or mushrooms in an artist's house."

1051: Bear the Shame

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You're not the prick cocksucker that was on Keith's DVD after all."

1050: Cum Together

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Act like a man! Cum like a man!"

1049: Womp Womp

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Why do you do drugs in front of your kids?"

1048: The Mamas & the Papas

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"Be careful! Mom just discovered Google!"

KATGtv 25: Myq Kaplan

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

100 for 30: Myq Kaplan

1047: Hell-A

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I hate doing this talk show! I hate it!"

1046: Chicken Fucker

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:20:00 +0000

"Justice runs on Little Baby Faggot Time."

1045: Oh God, Where Art Thou?

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Your lips are a hot dog bun. Want a picnic? I'll bring the meat. Also you're a whore I met on 18th street."

1044: The Greatest

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:45:00 +0000

"I do have to say something though about the new intern. This is gonna hurt feelings."

KATGtv 24: Ray DeVito

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

100 for 30: Ray DeVito

1043: Twitterific

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Which brings me to my next question: Will you get totally nude for $130? That would be pretty wild. Wild and affordable."

1042: Better Than You

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You're a shit-box. How can I be clearer?"

1041: The Love Experience

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"I was nuts, and I was an asshole."

1040: The Branding

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:11:00 +0000

"I do like to get hurt."

1039: Celebrity Robots

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:00:00 +0000

"Ever wake up with your foot in the toilet?"

1038: Five-Finger Discount

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna fuck way more cancer patients than you before the year is over."

1037: A Perfect World

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You both deserved each other! I'm glad you made each other's lives Hell!"

1036: Little Baby Faggot Returns

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Alright, I gotta go suck dick now. You behave."

1035: Neil Baxter

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Only assholes get MS."

1034: Sticky Fingers

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm about to beep all over myself."

1033: 21 and Over

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"It feels like they're stealing my farts."

1032: Slide It In

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"I really don't know if I have something in my ass or not."

KATGtv 23: Chemda in Chell

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:45:00 +0000

Chemda laughs at an MS joke and joins the likes of Adolf Hitler and Jack the Ripper

1031: Wordplay

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"I'm not the same guy I was a year ago."

KATGtv 22: The KATG Branding

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Intern Mike receives and pontificates on his Keith and The Girl cutting and branding.

KATGtv 21: The Chili-Off

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Chemda, Matt, Lauren and Intern Mike compete in the 1st Annual Chili Competition

1030: Bang a Dong

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Fuck you! I fuck your sons! I fuck your daughters!"

1029: Respect the Gun

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:45:00 +0000

"Come on over, guys. I got a gun."

1028: Period Break

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:45:00 +0000

"It's Keith vs. Chemda now. You wanted it!"

1027: Party Hard

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I really should just beat the fuck out of you."

KATGtv 20: Myka FOX!!!

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Keith, Brother Love and the KATG audience put Myka FOX!!! on the spot

1026: Ass Frenzy

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Just a simple jerk-off. Who knew?"

1025: Sabotage

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"First time I've been offended by the show."

1024: Skanks a Lot

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I can, without slander, call him homosexual."

1023: Speaking of Gay

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm an advanced man, and I like to do it in the ass."

KATGtv 19: The Burger-Off

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Keith, Pat, Jeremy, Cole and Intern Mike compete in the 1st Annual Burger Competition

1022: General Coonery

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"If I'm embarrassing me, I'm embarrassing you."

1021: Brillo Pad Lovin'

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:30:00 +0000

"Keith is belittling someone after he talked about tearing his dick with a Brillo Pad."

1020: Count Me In

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Shit, I'm pretty fuckin' gay..."

1019: Black Comedy

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Jesus Christ, can't you lighten up for five fuckin' minutes?!"

1018: Gay in the Back

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Your mommy sucked my dick for two dollars."

1017: Clickity Clack Bitches

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Get the fuck out the way, Nana."

1016: Cold Hearted Snake

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"There's no way to win is the answer."

1015: Making Boys Cry

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"My fists are thirsty for Ray's balls."

1014: 5 Stars

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are like."

1013: Mother Fuckers

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Drama will be soon."

1012: I'll Fight You

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"You apparently have never been ninja-fucked."

1011: The Unforgiven

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"I will not let a shit-head offend me."

1010: Stage Fright

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:00:00 +0000

"This is a drunk sudden movement venue."

1009: Getting Spooked

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 04:00:00 +0000

"I don't have a problem with sleeping with a lot of comedians."

1008: Big Pimpin'

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"I'll be back later 'cause you like to beat people."

1007: Throwdown at the County Fair

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"They pay you for this crap. It's amazing. God bless 'em."

1006: Salty Biscuit

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"I've had an olive in my ass."

1005: 1-900-HAHA-FUCK

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"I'm very in touch with Me."

1004: Goo Goo G'joob

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"I'm not alone. But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely."

1003: 1-800-FUCK-YOU

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I lost my shit."

1002: An Awart Winning Show

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"Two days notice, and Keith will do whatever you want."

1001: Awesome

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm a fuckin' animal, and all I do is fight."

999: Have a Nice Life

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"You're gonna sue the child for blowing your husband..."

998: Into the Fire

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Now I'm about to violate your trust."

997: Flying Pussy

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"Don't Palin Me."

996: Turn the Page

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:00:00 +0000

"It was the beginning of the end."

995: Boom Boom Boom

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Is this against the law if your baby like looks over here for a second?"

994: Twenty Questions

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:00:00 +0000

"Let's get a few things straight."

993: Your Line of Questioning

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"If you want to know who your real enablers are: It's your listeners."

992: Keith is a Drunk

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"One boring fucking day at a time..."

991: Burger War

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"He brought like Hot Pockets to The Greatest Chefs in the World Competition."

990: If You Can't Stand the Heat

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"All my friends are lying to me!"

989: Die, Michael Jackson, Die!!!

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"It was too soon when you touched my children!"

988: Robot Drinking Problems

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Somebody kill me today. It's not gonna get better."

987: I Love You

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I'm the fuckin' meltin' pot, A-fuck!"

986: The Atheist Club

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"If you are going to pay for sex it better be dirty because at home: the laundry is folded."

985: The Dragon Returns

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"For those of you who no longer wish to honor who I am and what I do, I truly wish you death."

984: Monkey Business

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Your backyard is where I vacation! How ya like that?!"

983: Genuine

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:30:00 +0000

"She vaginad her way into the position."

982: For Love or Money

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"I wanna fuck a girl who I put it in her ass and she doesn't even turn around to see who it is."

981: Seeing the Light

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I think we might owe you an apology, actually."

980: Choke-take

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Let's get back to the story: He tells me to cum on his face..."

979: Beer Hug

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Time to go out raping, I guess."

978: Let's Go Pittsburgh!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"I'm the kid you jerked off, you fuckin' son of a bitch."

977: Our Four Cents

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:30:00 +0000

"This isn't a town that says, 'Keep the change.'"

976: Frienemy

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Kiss my dick, Spooky!"

975: Burns and Allen

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Everything looks sexy. She has no control."

974: Dream On

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:30:00 +0000

"It's not a very nice show."

973: Evolution of Man

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"It ain't no note-takin' faggot baa! It's a drinkin' baa!"

972: Worse Than Hitler

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:00:00 +0000

"We are a team! You hate who I hate!"

971: Awkward

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Sometimes you gotta put your penis places."

970: You've Been Duped

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"It's like I'm fuckin' me!"

969: Define "No"

Sat, 30 May 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Don't go to the dildo store when you're horny."

968: Praise be Allah

Thu, 28 May 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"Don't pull me into this."

967: Hot Dog Revenge

Wed, 27 May 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"My life would be over if I was allowed to say whatever I could say."

966: If Charming Means Cunty

Tue, 26 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"It's never good to throw things at gang members."

965: American Bad Ass

Sat, 23 May 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Two thumbs down, and two middle fingers up."

964: Why Jews Eat Sand

Thu, 21 May 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Do you understand how sad this is, ladies?"

963: The Shed

Wed, 20 May 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"Go home, and quit touching each other."

962: Is This Thing On?

Tue, 19 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I partied even crazier the next night to the point where like my knees are like bloody-colored and bruises and..."

961: Heckler

Mon, 18 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"That is when your and F-MOS' advice came to mind. She was suddenly feeling doubts, so I just whipped my dick out."

960: How'd You Get Your Accent?

Fri, 15 May 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"I'm the undisputed all-time champion comedy king comedy!"

959: LOLz

Thu, 14 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I happen to be the crossover nigger of America."

958: Drinking Buddies

Thu, 14 May 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"Tell me what level of a scumbag I am."

957: Enjoy Yourself

Tue, 12 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I can't explain my disease."

956: Titties and Blood

Mon, 11 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I think you were high on whiskey."

955: Entitlement

Fri, 08 May 2009 18:00:00 +0000

"When you're aware of the world, it makes your heart cry."

954: I Shit on You

Thu, 07 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Are you gonna swear again, you stupid bitch?"

953: Mouth Breathers

Wed, 06 May 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"What the fuck are y'all laughin' at, man?"

952: Shine a Light

Tue, 05 May 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"You think you can just not answer the phone call? You have to answer the phone call now!"

951: MC Mr. Napkins

Mon, 04 May 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"Keith, I'm gay, and that's my brother I'm trying to fuck."

950: Sexperiments

Sat, 02 May 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Shit talkers don't get to decide when the shit talking ends."

949: Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"You have no sense."

948: Like a Girl

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Once in awhile you have to go out and fuck somebody else."

947: Thug Life

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Was she able to fuck the whole collection?"

946: Solid Bits

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"If you're not uncomfortable, you're not a comedy fan."

945: Baby Shaker

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"If you can put up drywall you're in."

944: Deviance

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"Have I hit a woman before? Hell yeah."

943: For Shits and Giggles

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"Stop spreading rumors about me!"

942: Eye of the Beholder

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I'm the only person with human decency!"

941: The Crippler

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I know you're fucking lying!"

Show 940: Live in NYC

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Check out the full video at KATG.com/live

939: Merit

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"If you could stop talking about me that'd be fuckin' FANTASTIC!"

938: The Brothers

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"We have some more vomiting tonight. What's going on?"

937: Nerd Rage

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"My logic can break you down."

936: Extra Gravy

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 02:00:00 +0000

"Keep eating your shit!"

935: Bad EYEdeas

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"I got shot in the face."

934: Me Talk Pretty

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"I maybe not say this but if the Keith is not good to you and go to away from him. I would love the you."

933: WrestleMania XXV

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"I shit me drawers."

932: Not in My House

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"If Intern punches me in the face: so be it."

931: Act a Fool

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Maybe you're scared of what you don't understand, because I understand everything."

930: Silver Dragon

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I love Lying Day."

929: Believe It or Not!

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"You must have the rustiest asshole this side of the Mississippi."

928: How to Be Friends

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"I'm a Butt Sex Pioneer. I'll take it for $5.95."

927: Just Not That Into You

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"Why do you cut yourself?"

926: Rules and Regulations

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"Keith is a bigger pussy than I thought."

925: Banana, Banana

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"This heart didn't come with instructions."

924: Vagina Lip Punching

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"'Fuck' is okay. 'Cunt' is okay. I think we're ready."

923: The Ultimate Pleasure

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"Show that you're a little dirty bitch."

922: Never Be a Victim

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"You told me to be more assertive, so I beat the shit out of kids."

921: Mental

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"You're an idiot mom. That's why you have an idiot kid."

920: Fuuuuccck Yoouu!!!

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:00:00 +0000

"I'm writing to tell you that I've been teetering this way and that over whether or not to continue listening."

919: Keith vs. Chemda

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Oh, let's get it on!"

918: Dan vs. Jesse

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:00:00 +0000

"This is like, literally, it has to be one of the dumbest - if not the dumbest - thing I've ever done."

917: Queer as Folk

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 03:59:00 +0000

"I'm nicer than all you fake fucks. Fuck you."

916: Keith's Mommmmm

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"What's your job besides not having babies?"

915: In Hot Water

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?"

914: Comics Strip

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

"It was nice talking to you. Now let's never talk again."

913: Four Years Down

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:00:00 +0000

"If we have cloning, I would clone you and then murder both of you."

KATGtv 18: Party! Super Party!

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Revelers enjoy the Party! Super Party!

912: Mo' Money

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"How much money do you have in your bank right now?"

911: Working Well with Others

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"He listened to the show, and now does not speak to me."

910: The Parent Trap

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"You've been shaming the family since you were nine?"

909: Acting!

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"I don't believe in baking. I never did."

908: Keith and The Girls

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"I will not be a victim!"

907: Gag Me

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"He looks at me and goes - and I quote: 'What have you done lately?'"

906: Tit for Tat

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Who's to say we don't want to just show our tits and need a good excuse?"

905: Connect the Dots

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"Nothing's ever sick enough for the Asians."

904: Get the Funk Out

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"He's not gonna try something. I'll punch him in the mouth."

903: What's Yours is Mine

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"Let's just say I've been kind of a mess lately."

902: Too Clever

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"You've made a very big mistake."

901: Tee Time

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:30:00 +0000

"Pen in your eye!"

900: Lez Be Friends

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"You know you're gonna get a lot of shit for this, right?"

899: Real Talk

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"I get it; you got AIDS. Let's play some music."

898: How Much is That Asshole in the Window?

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"It's not like I never had ass sex before. Let's be clear and honest."

897: The Show-ers

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"I've got twenty dollars if you're bored and wanna kill anyone."

896: Intent to Distribute (John DeForest Petrie)

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:30:00 +0000

"You go to KeithandTheGirl.com right now: there is video where something shitty is going on. And maybe literally."

895: Know Your Shit

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"That is gonna be just a horrible day when you figure shit out."

894: The Reaping

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"Every time I act, this guy's pointing a fucking camera at me!"

893: Vote Me

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Let's see if Patrice is an idiot."

892: Shout It Out Loud

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

891: Drink the Fat

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:30:00 +0000

"You got something to say to this prick?!"

890: Yes We Can

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:00:00 +0000

"Now you can check asshole without you turning into an animal yourself!"

889: Mantrums

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"I knew I was onto something. Who do I sue?"

888: The Simple Life

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"What are you most disappointed in her about?"

887: Dear Intern

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I truly apologize for anything and everything. I am the only one at fault here."

886: Love & Happiness

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I think you're a dildo, and not the kind I want in my vagina. I wasn't staring at you, you self-conscious douche."

885: The Royal Rumble

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:00:00 +0000

"I really want you to just bang a chair over her face."

884: Drunken Negro Faces

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"If you're lookin' for asshole, you're gonna find asshole."

883: In Session

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 21:30:00 +0000

"You can't Jew me down when I'm talkin' about suckin' bear dick."

882: God Bless

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:00:00 +0000

"Thank you for helping me be a better person."

881: Give and Take

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"The challenge is basically to prove Keith wrong."

880: Bad to the Bone

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:30:00 +0000

"You're being a little bitch 'cause you're not looking at me."

879: Sober Living

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"I like women the same way I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

878: Bromance

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"Someone starts blowing me, and I don't know who it is."

877: Fuck-Like

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 00:30:00 +0000

"Oh my God! You too, Adam?!"

876: For Medicinal Purposes Only

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:59:00 +0000

"I got your medicine..."

875: Pussification

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:00:00 +0000

"Good morning, mother fucker."

874: Poop Culture

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 12:00:00 +0000

"Their own god can't even milk itself."

873: The Greatest Story Ever Told

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:00:00 +0000

"Are you friends with Bill?"

872: 1st Annual KATGuh Award Winners

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"Don't masturbate hard; masturbate smart."

871: 4"Stud

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 05:00:00 +0000

"I'm gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job."

BEGINNINGS 26: Bougie Tag-Up

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:00:00 +0000

-157: Jani Lane - Tons of grafitti, everywhere. Like, EVERYWHERE. But these two get caught.

-160: Adam Visits - Adam Brown goes to town like a big fat clown with his underpants down. His first appearance. Fuckin' up apartments, bank fees, dental gripes, tag-up stories, Prussian Blue, the first appearance of a very famous game, and the infamous bear attack story. A classic episode, with very little to waste.

-162: Keith on Vicodin - A few candid post-show moments with Adam and Craig Klein about One-Eyed Davis and life back in the day.

KATGtv 17: Yoink

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Keith and Chemda in the classic Mexican Food Standoff

BEGINNINGS 25: Please Continue to Fuck Dane Cook Some More, Maybe Even Harder

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

-147: Learning Curve - The Dane Cook interview debacle begins.

-152: Your Child's a Pussy - The seriosos sally forth to see some cinema. This time, the film is Waiting, with Ryan Reynolds, and (gasp) Dane Cook.

-153: Fuck Dane Cook - That shit-ass joke-theiving gawky wiggly motherfuck blew them off! The fuck is that shit?

-154: Days Gone By - Oops, Dane writes in to apologize. You don't think he heard, right? Plus, the Old Man wants the heat turned on.

-158: Friendly Ribbing - Yep, he heard. Shit.

BEGINNINGS 24: Gimme BALLS!

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

-150: Gay Nigga - Terrorism, Mark McGrath, and a musical interlude.

-145: Doug Stanhope - The interview.

-146: Phone Jerk - More on Stanhope, visiting the clinic, a call from Deuce, and how to score pills at the pharmacy.

BEGINNINGS 23: Chink Cop

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:00:00 +0000

-148: Say You're Sorry - Somerset memories, band camp, rainbow parties.

-144: Keith and The Girl's Dad - Deuce gets the drips, and Charlie bangs the sitter.

-148: Say You're Sorry - Again. Baby-stabber, roommates, how to move to NY, how to survive in jail, the Pedocast, and Charlie has an altercation with the police.

-149: Want Some Candy? - McNally & Charlie redux. Keith stumps the Joke Man.

-152: Your Child's a Pussy - Another Charlie update, fun in traffic, strangers, Double Dare and the pussified youth of upper-middle class America.

KATG promo

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

BEGINNINGS 22: A Portrait of the Artist as a Porn Retailer

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

-143: The Porn Shop - A letter arrives from Vancouver.

-145: Doug Stanhope - McNally follows up from Source Adult Video.

-146: Phone Jerk - McNally calls in. Also, a special wedding and fun on the subway.

-142: Poker and DICE! - Chemda receives a flattering message, and how to behave and parties (hint: it doesn't involve eating crudites in your underpants).

870: 1st Annual KATGuh Awards

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"Was that the first time Chemda realized that she was dating a drunk?"

869: The O-Word

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"You can have some of my butt."

868: Integrity

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"I only became a drunk when you started drinking less."

KATGtv 16: How to Take Care of a Baby

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Keith and The Girl teach you about caring for a newborn

867: Smarter Than

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:20:00 +0000

"Quit rippin' off the fuckin' workin' man!"

866: Watch Your Kids

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"I just finished. Gotcha!"

Scott Sigler's Contagious

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

865: Greater Than

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"You are so fuckin' jealous..."

864: Spooky 2.0

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

"It will be on my tombstone."

863: The Red Pen

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 08:00:00 +0000

"We had to have hung out at least three times before threatening to kill me."

862: Yoink

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"When they're dead I can't make them cry."

861: His Image

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Never been more offended..."

860: Turn it Down

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"If you ever just feel like yelling at me: Don't."

859: Get Over Yourself

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"I don't want my dick back in a knot. Just suck it."

858: No Thank You

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"You're better than me. The End."

857: Use Your Illusion

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Where are the coloreds getting their water?"

KATGtv 15b: Baked PotatoE

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Our very Sexy PotatoE stunts her maturity

856: For Crying Out Loud

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:00:00 +0000

"Sometimes we have really creepy moments."

855: Nerve

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"I will destroy your life. I'm not kidding."

854: Hit 'Em!

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Sounds a little Hate Crime to me..."

853: Act Like a Man

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"Get ready to punch your friend in the face."

852: Told Ya So

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"They have to admit that Keith Malley is nicer than Adam Curry."

851: The Ol' Switcheroo

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"I demand that everyone act appropriately."

850: Newsy's Twat

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Here's a picture of my dick. That should tide you over."

849: The Pick-Up Artist

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"If someone hands you The Meaning of Life, how do you go on living?"

848: Timing is Everything

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"Yes, you were a jerk. Everyone hates you for what you did."

847: Baby's First Show

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"All your compliments offend me."

846: The Crazy and the Drunk

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:30:00 +0000

"Can I get a party size glass of that?"

845: Keith's Friends

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"You're not gonna pervert our relationship."

844: City Country

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"You know what's in my brain right now? Fucking you, 9-year-old."

843: Grownups

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"You get nothing until you apologize to me!"

842: Runaway

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"You have the disease that I don't like to hang out with."

841: Ladies' Troubles

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:15:00 +0000

"This is going to end badly."

840: Erection Day

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"The problem is your penis wasn't out."

839: Master Debater

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"If he's wet, he's a pedophile!"

838: Vote Obama

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 03:00:00 +0000

"The phone number's open for your apology, you fuckin' bitch."

837: N.D.P.A.C.

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Good comedy is based on research."

836: Breathless

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"Do we need to stop this?"

835: Coconut in the Garage with the Noose

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"You have the right to remain silent."

834: Fuckin' Hippies

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"I bet I could beat the ever-livin' shit out of you."

833: Max Payne

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"I cannot guarantee reliability, sobriety or even coherentness."

KATGtv 15: Salvia

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

Our heroes trip balls - Mike the Intern, McNally and Keith

832: Don't Do Drugs

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Your vagina's eatin' my dick."

831: Everyone has AIDS!

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:00:00 +0000

"Oh my God, do you want babies?"

830: As a Kite

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I was in my own glass thing. So I couldn't get out of the box. And the box kept pushin' me - maybe 'cause I'm flyin' through space like that..."

829: Back in the Saddle

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"If we fought, I would not be surprised."

Show 828: Live in London

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Check out the full video at KATG.com/live

827: Soap Hockey (Israel)

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"You'll say it like it is. What do you think of Israel?"

826: KATG Marathon - The Grand Finale

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

825: KATG Marathon - 2 Mothers 1 Gunner

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

824: KATG Marathon - Chris and Lori Part 3

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

823: KATG Marathon - Chris and Lori Part 2

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

822: KATG Marathon - Chris and Lori Part 1

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

821: Drill, Baby, Drill

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Name one good day as a couple that we've had together."

820: Litmus Test

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:00:00 +0000

"Raise your pizzas."

819: People > Animals

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"He's come a long way from when he was eating shit in the bathroom."

818: Love & London

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"Send out your signals: Don't fuck around the Malleys' house."

817: Star Power

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"If you don't leave now, I will shoot you."

816: You Were Right, John Mayer

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Nice try, bitch! I know about podcasting."

815: Disappearing Act

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"I'll get that baby out today."

814: Killing Me Softly

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"They're just hoping we don't shoot up the place."

813: My Backyard

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"What are the chances of my parole officer being here?"

812: Unconstitutional

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"The irony is you don't like you."

811: Octopus Genitalia

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"This is Knock Shit Outta People's Hands Area, and you're in it."

810: Everyday People

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"If it looks weird and smells weird, don't do it."

809: Playing Around

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"Chemda said I'm allowed to punch him right in the face."

808: Friends & Family

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"Every deal that we've gotten is because we have potty mouths."

807: Learning in Moderation

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"I'll burn that bridge when I come to it."

806: Skirting the Issues

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Do I look like an asshole if I sit you down and explain to you how to curse? Cause holy cunt-balls..."

805: A Losing Battle

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"He wouldn't shake my hand in person, but now I'm gonna check his asshole cancer."

804: Sex, Pigs and Lipstick

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:30:00 +0000

"Maybe you should have thought about that when you got knocked up near power lines."

803: Take Care of Your Own

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"This dog just fucked me!"

802: How to Approach Keith

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"You're drunk! Shut your mouth!"

801: I Blame You

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I ain't talkin' about the vagina, honey."

800: That's Not Your Baby

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"Too approachable! I'm too good!"

799: Just Kidding

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"I need faces! I need faces!"

798: The King of Kings

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"Don't let our amusement throw you."

KATGtv 14: KATG's Wedding/Fight

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:00:00 +0000

Keith and The Girl try to get married

797: Wedding Preparations

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"More people need to be quiet and start diaries."

796: Where's the Line?

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"Get up. You're not having a panic attack."

795: Killer Comedy

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:30:00 +0000

"It's time for me to stop being scared, and time to make others start."

794: You Ever Notice...

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Why am I the representative of all things you hate today?"

793: No Offense

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"Never would I ever come across as a whore. And for you to suggest that is just disgusting."

792: Chinese Democracy

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"And to think I should be dead."

791: 18 & Life

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Call ahead."

790: In It for Life

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:45:00 +0000

"Hey, sorry. My bad. I'm out. We're done."

789: Love thy Neighbor

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Nobody thinks there's any consequences."

788: You're Welcome

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"Would this make you applaud?!"

787: FTW

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Adam just looks horrified right now."

786: Special Strengths

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"A whole bunch of sperm at once makes you tell bad puns all the time."

785: Versus

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"You're not sending a signal that I should start fucking your face?"

784: Fuck Carnival

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:00:00 +0000

"Let me tell you how I feel about THAT person..."

783: KATG Marathon - Pandejo

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0000

782: KATG Marathon - Affirmative Action

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0000

781: KATG Marathon - Hot or Not

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0000

780: KATG Marathon - World Policy

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0000

779: KATG Marathon - The Magic Number

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0000

778: Ironman Bobby

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Let's have a fuckin' baby! Let's end this shit!"

777: Talk Dirty to Me

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"I want to work with you. Please tell me the secret of The Ancients."

776: On the Real

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"I've decided that I just'm gonna play you what I recorded when it happened because it's honest, and... that's what I do."

775: Battle of the Sexes

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"Fuck you, God. There, I said it."

774: Dr. Feelbad

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"You're dead. I'm gonna kill you."

773: To the Limit

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I can't tell if this guy is boasting a little too much about it, or he's just amazed that he's even alive."

772: See You in Court

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"Tell me the bad things about me."

771: 1-800-GAMBLER

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:30:00 +0000

"I'd eat a buddy of mine. Happily."

770: Fuck Your Country

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"We are so much more tolerant of you fuckers."

769: Keith's Line

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Are you the retard where I need to acknowledge you or not acknowledge you?

768: KATG Marathon - Exhibit A for the Prosecution

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

767: KATG Marathon - Butman Meets Soccergirl

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0000

766: KATG Marathon - Butman Begins

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

765: KATG Marathon - Girls' Night

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0000

-undefined-

764: KATG Marathon - Bobby Mitchell and Noemi

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:00:00 +0000

763: Intervention

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Welcome to the club. See you in Hell."

762: Halfsies

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"How sad your life is, Keith... to not know love..."

761: Our Demands

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"You think Mevio keeps their tents? I doubt it."

760: Roommates

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"This is a human being? Well I gotta look that word up. 'Cause I don't think it is."

759: Country Dough Face

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"If you think you've heard Chemda on 11; no you haven't. You've heard her on 3. That's all you ever heard her on."

758: Head of the Class

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"Fuck you, England. I didn't forget."

757: Be a Man

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"You don't even know where you are, Big Boy."

756: The Customer is Usually Wrong

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:00:00 +0000

"You can't make somebody happy."

755: Dah-Dahn Da-Dah

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Your kegerator is fuckin' up my tongue."

754: The Worst Thing We've Ever Done

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"Nobody's tricking me anymore."

753: Tour of Booty

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:45:00 +0000

"The Seven Year Itch is comin'..."

752: Home Sweet New York

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Why do we need to give everybody a chance?"

751: The Dying and the Dead

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"I'm not a thief, okay? I'm a very very upstanding citizen."

750: Haterade

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"You're my only fuckin' truly honest friend, and for that, sir, you're forever."

749: If It Fits

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"This was a horrible thing I did."

748: Queers, Racists and Whores

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:00:00 +0000

"Dick... tasted like sprinkles."

747: We Rule; They Drool

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"You shouldn't have a drink because you're gonna go to bed and pee yourself."

746: The 74-Hour Podcast

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"We just want to be in Guinness."

745: Mac Daddy

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"I'll tell you this, all you genius parents with your point of view..."

744: The Justice Game

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"If you can do me a favor and not sniff your own pussy too much in my bathroom, I'd appreciate it."

743: Million Dollar Baby

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"I want a baby."

742: Dream Warriors

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Well, I mean, six years later I find out it wasn't the real thing..."

741: Partay!

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I've always been a fat person. My whole family are fat people."

740: Judge Fatty

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"Keith and The Girl will fail as a show because I will shoot my listeners in the face."

KATGtv 13: Dance Monkey Dance

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0000

A highlight reel of 14-year-old KATG Internet Sensation Bruno G

739: The Trouble Card

Sat, 31 May 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I know I fucked him somehow. I just couldn't remember."

738: You Otter Know

Thu, 29 May 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Do we want to place a bet?"

737: Lights, Karma, Action

Thu, 29 May 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"If anyone out there who's listening to this listens to that hateful piece of trash called Keith and The Girl..."

736: KATG Kills

Wed, 28 May 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"You owe me $5. You played The Motherfucker."

735: Innocence Lost

Fri, 23 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"If we were in jail, your mouth would be first."

734: Nick Starr is Gay

Thu, 22 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"I haven't actually told this to anybody. Ever."

733: Positive/Negative: Real and Fake

Wed, 21 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"You're not dragging me into your Above and Beyond."

732: Positive/Negative: Major League and Minor League

Tue, 20 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

"Then how did I get scalping tickets to your Bat Mitzvah, cunt?"

731: Positive/Negative: The Fit and The Fat

Mon, 19 May 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"You know what tastes the best? Satisfaction."

730: McNally in a Tree

Sat, 17 May 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"Would it be easier to sleep with her if you quit imagining that she's your sister?"

729: Black, White and Other

Fri, 16 May 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"You smell like rent."

728: We Can Hear You

Thu, 15 May 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"What the fuck is your problem, man?!"

727: How May I Curse You?

Tue, 13 May 2008 18:00:00 +0000

"I don't use foul language, and I don't like to hear anyone else use it either."

726: Wanna Fight?

Mon, 12 May 2008 10:30:00 +0000

"I don't mean to sound like some kind of ninja, but I controlled it."

725: Death or Destruction

Sat, 10 May 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"To hear you say that, honestly, is a slap in the face."

724: Brother Love's Mother

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:00:00 +0000

"He smirked at you, then came on your wife."

723: Shenanigans

Thu, 08 May 2008 03:00:00 +0000

"I bet there's a lot of skin under her nails."

722: Kill the Noise

Wed, 07 May 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"But nobody was watching the body, so I got busy."

721: Iron Woman

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"I smelled my ass-pants after just to see."

KATGtv 12: Derby!!!

Mon, 05 May 2008 04:00:00 +0000

KATG spends time in the Small Country

720: Lie in It

Sun, 04 May 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"I'll pay thirty-five bucks to fuck you."

719: Diff'rent Strokes

Fri, 02 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"It was so ridiculous that we were sitting there eating together."

718: KATG Heals

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Put your hand in my wound thing!"

717: It's Not a Fight

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"You guys are not the easiest people to bring a fuckin' girlfriend around - right? - at all."

716: Derby!!!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"Look at you: Full-On Country!"

KATGtv 11: Spooky vs Deuce 2

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0000

The Spooky and Deuce armwrestling rematch

715: Our Own Fans

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"If I know I'm right, you're so fuckin' wrong."

714: Kink

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"You're not gonna ruin my new mom for me, ladies."

713: Quitter

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"I'm just addicted to broken people."

712: Once a Year

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"This is on the air? We got this?"

711: Jesse's Girl

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"I made myself seem approachable, and I think that's where I went wrong."

710: Know-It-Alls

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"I can't explain to you, your honor, stand-up comedy."

709: Cavemen and The Girl

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"I did several jabs to the face and an uppercut to the face."

708: Drama Queen

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Let me tell you all the secrets I know!"

707: Bonus!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"I like it when I win rape scenarios."

706: Come Correct

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:30:00 +0000

"You're gonna get a shitload of prayers comin' your way, buddy."

705: Respect

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:19:00 +0000

"People. Aren't. Nice."

704: Making a Difference

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"You're a fuckin' idiot, and try to talk less at parties."

703: Infighting

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:40:00 +0000

"Don't be a bitch! I'm sensitive!"

702: Office Humor

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:55:00 +0000

"When I need to bust a nut, I gotta get into the city toot sweet."

701: Southern Hospitality

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:00:00 +0000

"The advice you've given me has led to a bigger problem."

700: Keith's Aspie Test

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:00:00 +0000

"We are now gonna see if I am an Asperger."

699: WrestleMania XXIV

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:00:00 +0000

"Picture the power of this midget, but with brass knuckles!"

698: Deconstructing McNally

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Seriously, why do you hate me so much?!"

697: 70/30

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"Keep doing your show, assholes. Your life is getting ruined."

696: Pure Evil

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:00:00 +0000

"I hate my dad, and I couldn't take it anymore."

695: Misspoken

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:00:00 +0000

"I'm a street nigga. You'll see me."

694: Go Directly to Jail

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:30:00 +0000

"The cake is not a lie."

693: Holidays for Everyone

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:30:00 +0000

"I have heart. I got the broomstick now."

692: Kids are Dumb

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"Laugh. It only helps me."

691: Perspective

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"I'm spending $300 tonight, and I'm drunk, and my liver's done."

690: Know Your Enema

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:00:00 +0000

"Why's everybody coming to me for their enemas anyway?"

689: Good Answer

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:59:00 +0000

"Don't be offended if you're the one giving the speech and it's Hooker Time."

688: Confessions

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 23:30:00 +0000

"It was also dark, and you got pushed down by a ho."

687: Don't Call Me Fat

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Nothing you say will ever put my family back together."

686: That One Percent

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"Did you just say my time's not fuckin' important with my fake job and fake kids?! Who the fuck are you?!"

685: Fall from Grace

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:30:00 +0000

"Some of these adults have mentioned things to me that I feel obligated to address, for if they are true as they were described to me, I have lost a son."

684: Three Years Down

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"I got a gun. Happy anniversary to me."

683: Class Action

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:30:00 +0000

"He's definitely a little delusional."

682: Jamie Hunting

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"I might be kind of a nightmare to date."

681: Professionalism

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:00:00 +0000

"Are you keeping a secret that could break you two up?"

680: When to Say When

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"It's incredibly hard to find a chick who isn't a just great big retarded whore."

KATGtv 10: Four Short Films

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Open Mic Night, Chemda: Fame Whore, White Boys and The Spooky Hot Shot.

679: Keith's Glamourous Life

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"I'm the only person who likes you."

678: Fighting Fair

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"The problem wasn't so much the raping..."

677: Break Time

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"And I don't know if I'm like impressed with his skills or saddened that it only took the girls two drinks."

676: Blow Me

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"You know it's gonna get worse, right?"

675: And the Winner Isn't...

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"You're gonna make me cry! Take this!"

674: Restaurant Exaggerators

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"Where the fuck is it a quarter a minute?"

673: The Moment of Truth

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"The $500,000 question: Have you killed somebody?"

672: Garson

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:45:00 +0000

"You think these people are actually thinking straight before they go on this show?"

671: Be Nervous

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"You have my phone number! You coulda called me!"

670: The Helpies

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"I know you didn't want to get into this..."

669: Nigger

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:00:00 +0000

"Now you're back to Square One. You gotta keep selling your vagina on the Internet."

668: Bad Information

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"Well, I may not know much about God, but I have to say we built a pretty nice cage for him."

667: Bugger!

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:00:00 +0000

"I really think he meant I sell my daughter on the street."

666: Games

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 10:00:00 +0000

"You're in the fuckin' hottest Fuck Room. This is the Keith and The Girl Fuck Room. You're blowin' it."

KATGtv 9: Last Comic Standing

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Crazy Mike, Jesse Joyce and a million Last Comic Standing hopefuls

665: Learn to Swim

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"When does 'shy' mean you gotta go for my balls?"

664: Inappropriate Behavior

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 01:30:00 +0000

"I would not come back for a second punch."

663: Family Portrait

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"And I do not want to be on this show, so I'm gonna hang up."

662: Don't Eat the Cake

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"Are you even listening to your inner monologue?"

661: Play to Win

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Why do you have a picture of my nuts on your phone?"

KATGtv 8: Ask Heath Ledger

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Heath Ledger talks from the grave

660: Who Let the Dogs Out

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"If you're coming to my party, bring your purse. Or wallet. I don't sexually discriminate."

659: Harry Pooter

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"This is an insult? That's so fuckin' cool!"

658: KKKanada

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:00:00 +0000

"Fuck you. You die."

657: The Schemes of Things

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:30:00 +0000

"Have you ever tried or thought about killing somebody else?"

656: The Great Debaters

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:00:00 +0000

"I told her about the show and gave her a sticker, not ever thinking it would go this far."

655: Psychic Duo

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Do you think Keith is hiding pain?"

654: New Territory

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Why don't you think about that for awhile?"

KATGtv 7: Game Night

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Pictionary, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em and vodka - Let's wake up the neighbors

653: Psycho Analysis

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"Shut the fuck up, and stop being a little bitch."

652: The Boss' Wife

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:00:00 +0000

"Death or drugs? Just tell me that."

651: KATG The Musical

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:00:00 +0000

"The only diss I want to give her is disinfectant."

650: Truth to Tell

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"I got the crap kicked out of me by one of the American Gladiators yesterday."

649: Dead Funny

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

"I'm fine, and I don't mind him telling this story."

KATGtv 6: Personal Time

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Personal time with Chemda and Keith

648: Next Case

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"Stop making me laugh about this! It's foul!"

647: The Influenced

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"Is that going in the documentary? Put that in there. That's a good one."

646: Girl Power

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"Stop. Sit down. Write your own joke."

645: Tricks of the Trade

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 00:30:00 +0000

"It's not okay until I see him cry!"

644: West Coast Pussies

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 00:00:00 +0000

"I just did that in front of all them?"

643: Visitation Rights

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:59:00 +0000

"We felt so bad that we fucked up. Everybody wants to die."

BEGINNINGS 21: The In or Out Club

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

139: "Who's Sicker?" (September 19 '05) - Keith gets sickyboos, and Chemda wanks herself arid. (BEGIN to 6:00)

96: "Ray Visits" (July 18 '05) - Ray visits with his brother and walks straight into the third degree. Craigslist hookups, Cytherea squirts, more sick shit on the internet, and the infamous eel video. (19:00 to 33:00, with edits)

92: "Old Enough to Know Better" (July 12 '05) - A tragic suicide story in the news leads to yet another hilarious excursion into Keith's formative years. The classic red flags for suicide and drug abuse. (BEGIN to 15:00, with edits)

98: "What a Beach" (July 20 '05) - More eely goodness, nummy-nummers. Chemda's sexy reenactment of the translation. Keith takes the first "can I jerk to this?" challenge. (BEGIN to 10:40)

133: "Get Mad. Get Even." (September 9 '05) - A caller witnesses an altercation, spurring an exchange on street justice, vigilantism, and Samaritanism. Keith throws down some major foreshadowing. (17:30 to 29:00, with edits)

140: "Satan Sucks" (September 21 '05) - Does Chemda have vibration white finger from masturbating too much? She seems to think so, for a while anyway, possibly becoming the first documented case of nymphochondria. The segment regarding clown parties and retarded children that was used in the very first KATG animation. (32:00 to 42:00)

BEGINNINGS 20: Thick Sweat

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

125: "What Do Blacks Want?" (August 30 '05) Keith and Chemda anticipate another fantastic clown company party. This time, it's on a boat. (26:30 to 31:30)

102: "The Aftermath" (July 26 '05) A dramatic reading from the Family Circus, what's happening in Somerset, and more tales of larceny. School is bad enough, but imagine having a parent working at the same school. (35:00 to 47:00)

126: "Sins of the World" (August 31 '05) They field some emails regarding racism and looting in the wake of Katrina. The post-company party wrap-up. (BEGIN to 25:00)

131: "Jerk This" (September 7 '05) The lengths Keith will go to run off a batch. Malley's guide to jerk booths and strip club survival. The evils of masturbation. Keith talks about nocturnal emissions. (29:00 to 49:00)

126: "Sins of the World" (August 31 '05) Another crash outside morphs into a rant on 911 operators. Masturbation horror stories. (32:30 to 55:00, with edits)

128: "Stop the Insanity!" (September 2 '05) An old ex of Keith's calls in. (23:30 to 24:30)

139: "Who's Sicker?" (September 19 '05) Keith gets sickyboos, and Chemda wanks herself arid. (BEGIN to 6:00)

96: "Ray Visits" (July 18 '05) Ray visits with his brother and walks straight into the third degree. Craigslist hookups, Cytherea squirts, more sick shit on the internet, and the infamous eel video. (19:00 to 33:00, with edits)

92: "Old Enough to Know Better" (July 12 '05) A tragic suicide story in the news leads to yet another hilarious excursion into Keith's formative years. The classic red flags for suicide and drug abuse. (BEGIN to 15:00, with edits)

98: "What a Beach" (July 20 '05) More eely goodness, nummy-nummers. Chemda's sexy reenactment of the translation. Keith takes the first "can I jerk to this?" challenge. (BEGIN to 10:40)

133: "Get Mad. Get Even." (September 9 '05) A caller witnesses an altercation, spurring an exchange on street justice, vigilantism, and Samaritanism. Keith throws down some major foreshadowing. (17:30 to 29:00, with edits)

140: "Satan Sucks" (September 21 '05) Does Chemda have vibration white finger from masturbating too much? She seems to think so, for a while anyway, possibly becoming the first documented case of nymphochondria. The segment regarding clown parties and retarded children that was used in the very first KATG animation. (32:00 to 42:00)

BEGINNINGS 19: Believe the Hype

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 05:00:00 +0000

107: "Suck a Dick Wednesday" (August 3 '05) A beautiful tradition begins. Keith recounts a clown job working with Wendy The Clown and returns with an opinion on Ching Chong moms. (BEGIN to 19:00)

111: "Baby's First Blow Job" (August 10 '05) It fuckin' works, folks. Suck a Dick Wednesday works. Even for the youngest of fans. And dudes in clown pants. Almost. (BEGIN to 8:30)

110: "Technical Difficulties" (August 9 '05) Ching Chong snot customs. (10:30 to 12:30)

112: "Animals" (August 11 '05) With Patrice. Danny, with his new full-blown confidence, tries to bag himself a gossip queen on IM. (5:30 to 13:00)

103: "Great Adventure" (July 28 '05) With Patrice. The 8 Clown Commandments, all broken. Is there a Clown Hell? (9:00 to 17:00)

115: "Parental Advisory" (August 16 '05) Some good banter, including: Hufu, the soy-based human flesh substitute. Funny, it never caught on. Faces of Death discussion. Curb stompin'. The light/dark, sweetheart/asshole duality that is Keith Malley. Fart science, skydiving, more blowjob talk, the reality of sex education, and the danger of snooping through your folks' shit. The first time Keith mentions wanting a gun. (25:00 to 49:00)

BEGINNINGS 18: Conveniently Located to Many Accidents

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

102: "The Aftermath" (July 26 '05) - A quick lesson in handling criticism, free entertainment, and Keith and Chemda are chomping at the bit to get to their romantic anniversary getaway: Six Flags Great Adventure. How can you not wanna pinch their little cheeks? (BEGIN to 22:00, with edits)

103: "Great Adventure" (July 28 '05) - With Patrice. Six Flags Trip redux, with some distractions along the way... State Farm and Duane Reade commercials, the embryo of "e;What do we do now?,"e; the Action Park of yore, some hot, wet water park talk, thug couture, and FUNNEL CAKE! Also, Keith bucks the oppression of the countdown for you, loyal listener. But c'mon, FUCKING FUNNEL CAKE! (BEGIN to 8:55, 17:00 to 52:00)

104: "Cock and Balls" (July 29 '05) - With Jason. Alcatraz: The Ripoff. A charming story about Chemda's boobs. (BEGIN to 5:30, 31:00 to 34:00)

BEGINNINGS 17: Klass Dismissed

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

100: "KATG LIVE!" (July 22 '05) - The groovy eccentric lovemuffins land a mention in a New York Times article about podcasting. They use the opportunity to take a few jabs at their favorite farmhouse contemporaries. (6:00 to 11:00)

120: "Fire-Breathing Assholes" (August 23 '05) - Ms. Bitch-Dog, Mr. Scrotum-Bag, and more stories of customer (dis)service. (22:30 to 32:00)

104: "Cock and Balls" (July 29 '05) - With Jason. Things are heating up in the KATG camp. Keith's standup enters rotation on XM, and the online version of the NY Times article includes an awkwardly produced video news package, generating the expected, incisive critique. Keith's brother, Mark, decides to fuck with the municipal authoritah. (15:00 to 22:30)

134: "The Girl on PMS" (September 12 '05) - There's no hot water in the co-op, and the "old man" decides to call and find out where he can take a much-needed post-gym shower. (BEGIN to 10:00)

105: "Hatin'" (August 1 '05) - Dan Klass asks for a retraction in the NY Times article, effectively killing the whole thing. Presumably. (BEGIN to 2:00)

110: "Technical Difficulties" (August 9 '05) - Dad, gay anthropologist and Harvey Feuerstein expert. (23:00 to 27:00)

106: "Dan Klass is an Addict" (August 2 '05) - It turns out the article and video were not deleted. Klass, in his own inimitable and retarded style, discusses the Times' article's devastating effect on his career. Keith and Chemda in turn dismantle him in their own inimitable style. And, yes, all roads lead back to Keith's dad. (BEGIN to 14:30, 43:00 to 47:00)

115: "Parental Advisory" (August 16 '05) - Wacky laws and cursing. (52:00 to 57:00)

108: "Find Patrice a Job" (August 4 '05) - With Patrice. Dan gets pwned on the KATG message board and then on his own forum. The balance of justice is restored in the world. (38:00 to 43:00)

BEGINNINGS 16: My Serioso

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

125: "What Do Blacks Want?" (August 30 '05) - Keith and Chemda plan a weekend away together, and mull over some sage advice regarding hot tubs. (31:30 to 36:00)

130: "Farts and Branks" (September 6 '05) - A new term is born unto the KATG canon. (25:00 to 34:30)

129: "Poconos" (September 5 '05) - If everything had gone wonderfully on vacation, this segment wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. Broken bed, stained fixtures, overcharges, and, if that weren't enough, comedy hypnosis. (BEGIN to 50:00)

BEGINNINGS 15: Let it Shine, Let it Shine, Let it Shine

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

88: "Stick To Your Own" (July 6 '05) - Keith's Mom finds out about the podcast. (7:30 to 8:10)

116: "Duck, Duck, Uh-Oh!" (August 17' 05) - With Andrea. Sabotaging friendships, Dad the illusionist, and the Church in the Mall. (5:00 to 21:00)

135: "Behind the Scenes" (September 13 '05) - Pizza Party! The cult of the jailed celebrity, and a crap TV free-for-all. Martha, Tyra, Bonaduce, Maury, Jerry, Ricki, etc. Plus, Mo'Nique, eating habits and disorders, novel weight-loss tactics, acid reflux, prescription drugs and doctors. (4:00 to 38:00)

120: "Fire-Breathing Assholes" (August 23 '05) - Keith gets a letter from dear old Dad. (32:00 to 45:00)

BEGINNINGS 14: A Patrice Tour de Force

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

85: "I Have a Black Friend" (June 30 '05) - Keith can't swim and neither can Patrice; even though she can breathe underwater a little. Yoga, sweat, hospital stories, the magic of opiates and the post-op dump. (BEGIN to 20:00)

94: "Back in the Day" (July 14 '05) - Keith, Patrice and Chemda (well, to be fair, mostly Patrice and Chemda) reminisce about their favorite TV shows growing up. (BEGIN to 7:00)

117: "Walken 2008" (August 18 '05) - Patrice gets irrigated, and everybody learns way too much about her colon. (2:00 to 9:00)

99: "Babies on Acid" (July 21 '05) - Treece chaperones her brother on a date, and all ramifications of young love are discussed. They then pile more shit on Ray's Sanrio-obsessed girlfriend. (7:00 to 22:00, with edits)

108: "Find Patrice a Job" (August 4 '05) - Patrice does what Patrice does best: (8:00 to 38:00)

BEGINNINGS 13: Be at Ease!

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 14:00:00 +0000

84: "Drinking On the Job" (June 29 '05) - Do you have what it takes to be Somerset Dairy Princess? Filling in the gaps in the Malley family's early years, and more high-larity from the bottomless well that is Keith's upbringing. Milk, terrorism, dead dogs, Casey Kasem, professional treachery, and potential IM fuck-ups. (45:00 to 62:00)

87: "Fuckstration" (July 5 '05) - Dicking around with high school teachers, and struggling with foreign language. Keith is the Devil. Who knew? (15:00 to 24:00)

88: "Stick To Your Own" (July 6 '05) - Keith muses on racial sensitivity and critical emails, Chemda talks Jew camp and ethno-racial cliques. What is the worst race? Keith submits an entry via an apartment-hunting anecdote. Chemda follows up with an apartment story of her own. Jew hats, little Hasids with peyos, Jew stuff a-plenty, L'chaim! (30:00 to 52:00)

90: "Small Town Minds" (July 8 '05) - Dairy Princess crowned! The mystery of the Jewish "I'm important" hat solved! Milk facts! Italians want to be offended and feel left out! Fockin'-A! (10:00 to 23:00)

642: Chemda Said Knock You Out

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 04:59:00 +0000

"You can burn in Hell, bitch!"

641: Jeremymas

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 03:00:00 +0000

"It's almost like being bisexual."

640: Sigh

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 01:00:00 +0000

"You're an asshole, Keith. This is the most asshole move that you make. You're really an asshole."

639: Eurotrash

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 01:00:00 +0000

"You learn to get aggressive really quickly in Europe or else you die."

KATGtv 5: Cinnamon Challenge

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 05:20:00 +0000

Disproving the cinnamon challenge myth

638: Spring Cleaning

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:59:00 +0000

"Did you just make cancer sexy?"

637: Right and Wrong

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:30:00 +0000

"You will not figure this man out until you drink with him at least ten times."

636: Traditions Part 2

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:00:00 +0000

"Cause they were black. You can say they were black."

635: Traditions Part 1

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 04:59:00 +0000

"You dumbed down my dick."

634: A New York Christmas

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:00:00 +0000

"You're too horny to google Keith and The Girl."

KATGtv 4: Bad Breath

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:00:00 +0000

An inside look at KATG's studio

633: Rules of the Game

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 04:59:00 +0000

"Leeroy, why do you always gotta do that?"

632: Friends Till The End

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 00:30:00 +0000

"All the more reason to bring back corporal punishment."

631: Bad Angles

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 00:30:00 +0000

"I have MS, and yes, I'm an asshole."