1132: Pledge Your Allegiance

Show Notes

• — Olympic Citizenship: You can play for Canada in the Olympics AND enjoy the spoils of America? Unfair!
• — Picture You Can Fly: Picture every doctor you see knows all the information of your other doctors. That's G.E.
• — Three To Five: The Canadian goalie writes the team names he beats on his stick, so he wrote U.S.A. before the game was over, then lost
• — Ice Shuffle Board: You put a handle on a granite stone and push it with a stick on the ice. Amazing! Even pregnant women can compete!
• — Snicker Divas: Aretha Franklin is huge, she brought her own snickers to the commercial
• — Curling Day: You cannot convince me it's a real sport because you yell. BROOM IT! UUUUUGH!!!
• — 80s Hard Dicks: Boner has been missing for a week, so people are looking for him on twitter since no one really cares
• — Nerd Habits: Assholes carry their dragon dice in Crown Royal bags. Oh, did you forget your water Darth Vader?
• — Latisse: Grow your eyelashes and get diarrhea, blindness, discoloration, fainting and everything else that's not worth it
• — Spring Cleaning: I was sweeping under the couch and I swept up an old broom
• — There's Other Penis In The World and KATG Tattoo #60: This guy wants to pay for you to be closer to fuck him, wants sandwiches, but isn't your boyfriend. You're a prostitute.
• — Penis Is Gross: Is it offensive to date women to see if I'm really gay?
• — Subway Train Surveillance: Eventually the government is going to put cameras in your home, that's what happening to these bums now
• — Making Peace: Keith's dad thought he had another heart attack, he's in the hospital
• — Regis and Kelly: Regis Philbin is an old pervert. How's your celebrity boyfriend doing? He still FUCKING YOU?!!!