2376: Morning Wood

Show Notes

• — Popping A Woody: Danny Hatch, here to explain the meaning of morning wood, is in studio
• — The High Schooler’s Guide To College Parties: Director Patrick Johnson calls in to discuss his new film
• — Kattfights: Katt Williams has been arrested again, this time for assaulting a restaurant manager with a salt shaker. Keith lists some of Katt’s past run-ins with the law.
• — Shiananigans: A man claims he was attacked by a stranger because he looks like Shia LaBeouf, but the gang is suspicious
• — Sign O’ The Times: Chyna and Prince both died of accidental overdoses
• — Greg Watch: 94% of the audience thinks you’re an idiot if your Facebook feed is nothing but shared memes. Idiot listener Greg will be happy to know that Oxford, Alabama has made using the bathroom that doesn’t correspond with one’s genitals illegal.
• — Cruz Control: Ted Cruz has selected Carly Fiorina as his potential vice president, despite the fact that she’s badmouthed him numerous times in the past year. Former Speaker of the House John Boehner thinks Ted is ‘Lucifer in the flesh.'
• — Rapist Of The House: Dennis Hastert, another former Speaker of the House, molested 5 kids while he was a high school wrestling coach. Dennis will only face 15 months in jail for bank fraud related to the hush money he sent his victims.
• — Daddy Dearest: A Long Island foster parent was charged with sexually abusing some of the 140 boys he housed and subjecting them to cruel conditions, such as making them watch him have sex with a dog
• — Jimmy Dean's Sausage: James Dean and Marlon Brando were secret lovers
• — Good News: Uber sent out an email to its customers reminding them that they don’t have to tip
• — It's A Wonderful Life: James Cameron calls in to discuss his fondness for Patrick Johnson’s films and his plans for Avatar 2