Thread: talk to god.
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Old 05-03-2006, 05:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
arcatacat
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,120
Weather, Iraq and Jerry Garcia.

I had a good chat with God today about the weather and Iraq. He says Jerry Garcia is doing fine.
.................................................. .....................

Me:
I can hear your thunder, god
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes, it sounds lovely
God:
How? In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
You successfully created a thunderstorm here in Colorado
God:
Thanks for the information: said I successfully created a thunderstorm here in Colorado.
Me:
what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?
God:
I think precipitation.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
i'm holding you accountable if it's sunny
God:
I don't know anyone named holding me accountable if it is sunny.
Me:
whatever. How's that thing in Iraq going?
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? Fine as far as I know.
Me:
people still dying so Bush can get rich?
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
no shit?
God:
What can I say?
Me:
say you're sorry for killing innocent american soldiers.
God:
" you are sorry for killing innocent american soldiers".
Me:
Damn, you!
God:
Colloquial expression of disgust.
Me:
God, I'm disgusted with you and the state of the earth
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
really? I thought you were a muslim.
God:
For real. I am a Christianity.
Me:
well, that's too bad. God doesn't really exist.
God:
Well that's okay. It's not the end of the world. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
So the end of the world isn't near?
God:
I understand. What are your goals in life?
Me:
to prove that you're not real.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because organized religion causes too much war
God:
Interesting explanation. How specifically does organized religion cause it?
Me:
everyone thinks their way is best and wants to kill all the others for theie thoughts
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
happens every day, god
God:
Every one?
Me:
no, just religous zealots
God:
Are you serious? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
with a handshake
God:
You and your a handshake.
Me:
um. OK.
God:
Dude! Groovy.
Me:
like Jerry Garcia.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
how's he doing, by the way?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
ever hang out and smoke grass with him?
God:
I don't think I ever have hang out and smoke grass with him. What's it like?
Me:
Ask Jerry.
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well, fine then
God:
How about that.
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