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Old 06-29-2008, 09:53 AM   #174 (permalink)
The Anti-Greenjacket
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: ATX
Posts: 4
worst thing

So many to choose from...

I used to work at Best Buy and there was some douche that i hated. He was having a party at his parents house, who had moved out, so the house was empty. I was a fat drunk at the time and needed an excuse to get drunk for the weekend, so i went. At the end of the night, i was too drunk to drive, so i asked him if it was cool if i spent the night. He was too busy trying to mack on some hot bitch from Best Buy to care, so i did. Then i "blacked out", and woke up the next morning. I recalled a "dream" i had the night before, where i urinated in his kitchen on the floor. Later, I figured out the "dream" was real enough, but my first "black out".

I went to Stephen F. Austin Uni, and had this swimmer for a girlfriend. She was in school government and school related things, and i was just into smoking weed. She wanted to hold some sort of dance, or something, some take me bck to the eighties dance and told me to dj the event and try to get some of my roommates to go. I just went to smoke weed. Then the event came, and it was in a big room, and she had ordered a huge cake, decorations, the whole shebang. And no one came, except for my stoner friend, Smokey, and me. She started to cry, and i walked out. I asked to meet her later that next day in the same area, and broke up with her. She started to cry hard, and i just walked away.

When i was a kid, i have this recollection of running away from a girl, into a fort, and chucking a piece of something at her in her face, intentionally. She went home crying, and had to get glasses the next week because I had permanently messed up her sight.

I had this friend from work who was obese. Everyone kept telling me to fuck her, but i kept saying i dont bang fat chicks. But after a while i thought, what the hell, why not. So i planned to go to her place one weekend, and brought a six pack and some condoms. I drank the six pack of miller high life in less than 3 minutes (no joke), and she goes "Boy you sure like beer!" (insert fat breathing noises here). I proceeded to take her upstairs and fuck her, of which all we could do was doggy style because she was too damn heavy. I was drunk as all hell and kept looking at her ass and wanting to throw up but I closed my eyes and focused on banging this other girl at work. Eventually, the weekend was over, and she was all ready to marry me and stuff, and I just told her that i was going back to school and wouldnt be able to do anything about it. I went back to school, then she said she was pregnant, and I wanted to die. Then, after my first year at college, she admitted she made up the pregnancy, only after I had told my parents and every family member I had about my "son" that was about to be born. Guess she got me back...

I worked a tthe local movie theater, and I collected a bunch of shit (butter, mustard, old cola, hot dogs) into a cup, and went into the movie theater that was showing Stepmom, and waited for a quiet moment, and chucked the cup high into the air and it landed on someone. They had to call the cops and interview everyone. I never said anything...

wow, this is easier than i thought...
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