Quote:
Originally Posted by tempfoot
Well, I have been through this, more or less. Sounds like no kids in the picture. If that's accurate then that makes everything less messy. Also sound like you both earn money and it's not ending because one of you did anything wrong (cheating, beating, etc.) Those should help make the process less ugly. It may seem bad right now. My marriage was terrible (except for kids) and yet I still felt overwhelmed when it all came apart.
Rude, yes, but one less thing for you to check off on what is a long list of to-dos. Telling your friends and co-workers will be more than enough. If you are like me, none of them will actually be all that surprised. Your heart is not broken, and though you may be shocked, it sounds like you are self-aware enough that, if you are honest, you are not really even all that surprised.
How is your physical health? I was on anti-depressant meds for 9 years after the death of a child. I didn't get off them until I dropped the extra 70 lbs I was carrying around. Doing that allowed me to get back into a sport I loved and on a hard training program. Greatest thing I could have done for myself, and I wish I had done it years earlier. If you have room to improve yourself in this way, it would give you something very productive and confidence building to focus on, and get you out of the house as well. Since you are about to be single - the added confidence will really help. I can't say the depression never rears its head, but I've never come close to needing to go back on meds.
Bite the bullet and go talk to a lawyer. Even if you are both very agreeable in the process, it will help to know the roadmap ahead.
Keep us posted....
|
You are correct, there are no kids in picture...thank fuck. I can't imagine how hard that would be on top of everything else.
This was not a COMPLETE surprise, but I wasn't expecting it. Things haven't been great with us for a while now. We weren't really fighting, but we weren't bubbly in love, either. But last weekend we went to a Halloween costume party and had an awesome time together, were very "couplely" all night, had awesome sex when we got home and again in the morning...so, there were very recent sparks of happiness. I guess she was just hiding how unhappy she was or I was simply unable to see it.
My health is good. I exercise almost daily and I'm big into running. I've run two half-marathons this year. So, that's good therapy for me.
I see a therapist once a month and that's a big help as well. She's really helped me in many ways.
I guess I should be thankful that this happened sooner rather than latter. I'm turning 31 next month (I have the same birthday as Chemda!), so I'm not over the hill yet and no kids. So, I guess it could be a lot worse.
Thanks for your support. The KATG community really is amazing. Thank you all.