Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean from Australia
Regarding the hard nosed financial shit...
If this is gonna go down the way I think it will then by all means gather your financial records together but make a solid commitment to lay off one another's pension plans, insurance, benefits etc.
Make no mistake, you want to get out of this as cleanly as possible and you don't want to fuck around trying to fuck each other over. Likewise with the house, sell it and split the proceeds 50/50. Have some representation if you feel you need to but remember this - lawyers are in it for them and not for you.
If you can, draw up some documents that set out some basic conditions (like those I've oulined above) and make copies for yourselves, each sets of parents and a trusted third party. The end game of this is to get out of this fucking mess as cleanly as possible so that you can start over Adam. Make no mistake, you think shit sucks now - I garantee you that it's gonna get a whole lot more worse for you mentally and emotionally in the coming months. You're gonna experience feelings of failure, of heart ache and pain that no amount of knob polishing from the hot chicks here is gonna assuage. You're gonna wake up at two in the morning alone and in tears and you're gonna need to be able to do that without the added pressure of your cunt ex-wife trying to take everything else from you.
If you're getting therapy, make that your priority right now and pour everything into getting your head and your heart right.
Everything else is just secondary bullshit.
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Thanks, Dean. That's all very sounds advice. It's hard to think like that right now. I guess I'm still in shock. I just keep hoping that this is a bad dream that I'm going to wake up from, but clearly, that's not the case
I really hope that this doesn't turn ugly. I'm insanely hurt by what she has done, and I have felt anger at times this week, but mostly I'm just sad and scared.
Fortunately, our incomes have been pretty close since we started dating. We both make good money and I only make about 15% or so more than her. We've been really strict on splitting all of our mutual expenses (both large and small) 50/50 since day 1, so I think that will help...I hope.
My best friend is an ex that I was with for 4 years. We are super close and she's been my main support line through this. Somehow I doubt that I'll be friends with my wife when this is all done. I find that very sad, but I don't think she's going to make this easy for me.
One day at a time, right?