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Wow Dean, that is heavy and rough. I do not know your whole situation so I do not want to act like I know everything you are thinking. I have, though, known many people who at some point realized alcohol is a problem for them.
I think the best thing you can do right now, if you are serious about your commitment, is to look for an assistance program that works for you. It might be AA or something else, but having a program that will be there to give advice and encouragement could be what gets you through.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
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