Quote:
Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle
Disagree.
The fact a disingenuous marriage, (one based on rape and the manipulation of child's mind) has or has not ended is irrelevant. It's like trying to argue that the effects of Stockholm Syndrome have a definite given length of time.
I'd argue you're confusing your healthy marriage with a marriage based on brainwashing and taking advantage.
Religious people take advantage of the young to steal their minds. Are you a proponent of this method?
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I am not confusing the two at all Piff, I am merely stating that the length of time of the marriage, regardless if it is good or bad, does imply a positive connotation that you can handle long-term commitments whether the marriage is disingenuous or not. Lawd knows we've had some bad years, but when i tell you I've been with MrToni going on 15 years and that we will be married for 11 years this April, it does reflect on me on some level, no?
So i'm saying that as a woman who as looked into adoption and as a citizen married to a permanent resident - marriage, on paper,
does count. It is indeed a reflection of both parties. So when i made that statement about Woody and Soon-Yi I was referring to the fact that
a) they have been in a relationship since 1991 and married since 1997 - a 20+ year relationship is our society is still a big deal & has implications regardless of the state of the marriage as a whole. Most of celebrity couples can't even get to 5 years married today
b) they have legally adopted two daughters throughout their marriage and for anyone who knows about home study and background checks, their marriage was a big factor on paper as far as home stability in addition to the fact of the previous accusations never go away
c) there were never an alleged charges from any other victims, including his own daughters/spouse
In no way would I equate a marriage committed under force/brainwashing (resulting in Stockholm) or coercion of a minor (like a religious cult, or more often than not the adult/guardian responsible for getting the kid in the cult in the first place) the same as Soon-Yi, an adult, entering a relationship and then marrying the man.
And just like marriage does count on paper, so does divorce. This can vary by a person's individual beliefs, geography, religious, etc....but on some level you (not you specifically buddy) do use someone's martial status as a measurement stick of the person. For example, due to my battles with infertility, I personally only dated one person who has kids because I am not the one to put up with a baby's mother (and i use the term "dated" loosely, more like a fuck buddy). I do judge a man's ability to use or not use protection and his past choices while at the same time considering the circumstances, it's not simply black and white. For example, I would date a man who ended up divorcing his ex-wife due to incompatibility or adultery before i ever dated a dude with just a baby's momma. If he don't give a shit about her ass, why would he care about mine? You do look at Keith & Chemda differently after 9+ years of this podcast compared to, for example, if this was year 1 or 2, do you not? Same principal IMHO