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Old 07-08-2019, 05:20 PM   #31 (permalink)
ThumbnailTwo
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstoriaGirl View Post
Before my dad died I had basically done 5 years of prep work of "my father is going to die early from his alcoholism" and so when he did die I was like "yeah I basically already grieved all of this, I'm not surprised and I was sad for 5 years so there's not much left to feel now". But man some of my coworkers were assholes about my lack of feeling and it's partially why I left.
This rings very true to me. My dad was sick for a few months before he died, wasting away in front of our eyes, and I felt constant worry and sadness. For two to three months, deep down, I knew he would die (he was a heavy smoker, had been losing weight over the years, looked like shit and his latest bloodwork was concerning), and the night my mom rang my doorbell and said "I think your father is dead" I replied "Of course he is".

We had to sit, a couple of weeks afterwards, and talk about why we weren't as sad as we were "supposed" to be. Your experience mirrors mine very well, since I feel I grieved his upcoming death during those last few months.

Five years later, all I feel is meh, life went on, and I'd be seriously pissed if someone was forcing me to find feelings where I have only meh.

(I still love all of you, please podcast mom and podcast stepmom don't hate me because podcast dad is right this time!)

Last edited by ThumbnailTwo; 07-08-2019 at 05:23 PM.
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