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Old 04-04-2020, 04:58 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Lanfear's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Frankfurt am Main, Germany
Posts: 2,577
Originally Posted by Scorpion View Post
Then she just stares at me. I'm like, 'I didn't get close to anyone, the place was pretty empty. <still staring> Do you want me to change my shirt and pants, wash them? and she says "No, no it's OK." but then she just keeps staring so I'm like 'I'm going to change.'

Just tell me, we don't have to make a big deal about it. I was honestly thinking of it anyway but she doesn't want to push it then it adds to her stress. It's like I want a middle ground I will wash my hands I will do these things, I want her to feel OK saying something. I just don't need a lecture and I would like an opportunity to do it before I'm told to.
Am I making sense?

I know it's all stress related. She is very scared and she should be, a lot of people she loves are in high risk categories. It's very much a real threat to us.
I feel like this is one of these situations where we (you me everybody) should make a big deal out of it unfortunately.

So you might have to step up and either proactively do way more than you think is necessary (change clothes, wipe door knobs, take a shower, ...) and make it a big theatrical production to show you are doing it.
Or sit her down and together make a risk assessment containment plan, maybe write down what steps you agree on and hang it up next to the front door and then follow these steps and review them based on new information.

You know your wife best so you'll know what works for her but from your post it sounds like she feels scared and would like more steps but knows it might be over-reacting so she is trying to stop herself from mentioning it.
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