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Old 07-18-2020, 04:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
Sparrow
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgia
Posts: 5,278
iím Borderline. #shocker

having a therapist say it out loud gave much needed context to all the chaos i was experiencing inside and projecting into every relationship i had, personal and professional. something we all share is an intense triggering from either perceived or actual abandonment by a ďfavorite person,Ē who oftentimes weíve developed a connection with that may or may not actually exist for the other person. i canít always tell what is real and what iíve strung together.

another super fun thing: my responses are often disproportionate to a given situation; a level 2-3 thing will read as a 12. everything feels urgent. i will be too reactive to nothing or not-responsive enough to actual urgency. itís scary not being able to trust your gut.

my self-identity is incorrectly tethered to my current moods which are ever shifting. itís like seeing yourself through a kaleidoscope. in the moment something is true and authentic and in a second it becomes untrue or is abruptly over.

itís a constant question of whatís real and how to behave. getting on a mood stabilizer helped me a lot to curb the intensity of everything, but itís not a panacea. vigilance on which impulses to act on or ignore and a support system of people to check reality with are necessities.
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