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Old 08-12-2022, 05:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Valkyrie's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by shoebootie View Post
Elin having a good co-parenting relationship with her ex is commendable. Especially when you consider that her current boyfriend does not have a good relationship with his child's mother, maybe he is projecting ... is he jealous? Does he wish he could have a healthier relationship of co-parenting with his ex? Is he projecting the fact he's not necessarily trustworthy, ie he couldn't be trusted with his own ex that much?

I think doing outings and dinners during this transition is great. This kid has been through a still-ongoing pandemic that upended their lives during a vital development period, now the parents are splitting. A little cushion, kindness, and gentleness during this time only works for the child's benefit.

The new boyfriend can fuck off, he's too new here to be making requests. Boy bye.
Elin here,
Thanks, I also think that putting my daughter first is the only right thing to do here. Another reason we spend time together is also because I have her almost all the time due to the fathers work schedule. Since she only stays with him every other weekend I think it's important for both of them to see each other. Plus we live 10min away.
New bf thinks this is a bad excuse as I should just leave her there for a few hours without actually joining in, but for the time being she is hyper sensitive about the whole 'one parent leaving' part and will have a complete breakdown until I return. I want to give her time to adjust to the new situation AND make sure she gets time with her dad.

And spot on regarding him projecting about his own behaviour around his ex. Even though it's been 10 years since their divorce, he says that he still notices small sparks when he has to be around her that reminds him of why they got together in the first place, hence why he doesn't believe that there is nothing there when I spend time with mine.

BF is a sensitive musician and is going through his own shit due to depression so I'm trying to be understanding and give some slack but this whole thing about making demands about the way I handle my broken family stuff might be the nail in the coffin..
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