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Old 08-18-2023, 01:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
Apia resurrected
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Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Niedernhausen, Germany
Posts: 2,815
friend suicide attempt

Yesterday I learned that a friend of my attempted suicide and got somehow a stoke after it and is now in an ambulant clinic.
The thing is, I'm not surprised. I know her over 20 years. I know I couldn't have done anything to help her, because I know her so well and know her way of thinking and acting.
We spend in the past countless hours talking about her problems and I used to be involved more and had to separate myself from it for my sake.

Her pattern it like that: you meet her, she tells you she is doing as great as never before. That she worked so much on her in the past and now gets life and should in fact help others! That now she has found the perfect job for example where her abilities are finally recognized and now everything is heavenly. She is a lawyer and had 7 jobs in the last 10 years.
Surprise, this doesn't stay this way for long.
Pretty soon she changes her tune and everything is terrible about the job. The boss doesn't even come into her office to talk to her anymore, she obviously hates her now!
Etc.
Last time she quit her job for a new one where the commute was over 4 hours a day, because now everything would be great! It was in a hardcore finance company and of course at first she said it was the best thing that ever happened to her.
She did that knowing that she just bought a house in a remote location, a house in need of very much work.
When she bought it she said: people say to me it might be a bit much with the house and a hard job! But I have visions, like Elon Musk or Steve Jobs! I want to renovate the shed and turn it into a theater space to bring culture into this village!
When I pointed out that this seems like an own full time job she got mad.

It turned out to be too much and she said she felt so burdened with everything that she did it.
I know I can't do anything about it, but it's still bad.
Yesterday she proposed to talk to my kids about mental illness because she sees her way as an educator now and wants to go to schools and talk about it. She is still in the clinic. Because surprise, she feels as good as never before she says.
I talked to my kids about mental illness already, so no need here.

I'm not sure what to do, probably not much ? It's her journey but still I am very concerned. I fully expect her to end her life someday. But talking with her is impossible because she already has always all the answers and you guessed it, does as good as never before.

Last edited by Apia resurrected; 08-18-2023 at 01:17 AM.
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