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View Poll Results: Are you or were you bullied?
Yes 143 76.88%
No 43 23.12%
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Old 03-06-2012, 06:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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1547: Bully

"Be the protagonist of your life."

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Old 03-06-2012, 07:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Die Laughing...not getting bullied at school

"You ever feel you mised the boat on something? That's the way I feel about the whole 'school shootings' thing: Kill All The Jocks! That was my idea!" - Doug Stanhope I concur. I used to get jumped by about 8-10 gang members in a high-school in MI. They'd catch me in the soccer field and just beat the shit outta me. I hated high-school, but quite honestly it toughened me up and forced me to use my brain and mouth to get out of problems. I don't think all the great comedians would be around today if not for trauma in the form of bullying. I'm not a proponent; I'm just saying.
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Old 03-06-2012, 10:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I had a little trouble until one day in 7th grade I threw a kid head first into a wall (in self defense of course, relax, jee wiz, he survived). After that nobody messed with me all that much.
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Old 03-06-2012, 10:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Haven't been bullied since elementary school.

I learned that if it looks like there'll be a fight, take the initiative and go for the nose.
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Old 03-06-2012, 11:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I used to get made fun of and was never really popular, but I never was physically bullied. One time in high school I was changing classes and these two girls I didn't know were in front of me one of them said I was funny but weird.
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Old 03-07-2012, 07:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Great timing on this episode; I had a discussion about this with my daughter last night.

I put up with a lot more than I should have all the way through school, and always tried to deal with it in the "approved" fashion, but that never got results. The old line of "tell a teacher" or "tell your parents" doesn't work, and wearing a pink t-shirt to protest bullying only makes you easier to spot as a target.

Last year, I read the book "Heart Transplant" by Andrew Vachss and Frank Caruso, and that changed my perspective a lot....pity it wasn't written a lot sooner. The book takes the same line as Keith...stand up and be aggressive right back. Make yourself a difficult target, and the bully will move on.

My daughter came to me at the end of the last school year and told me she was getting bullied by another girl in her class. She had told her teacher and nothing was done about it. I told her to stand up for herself, and that if things got physical and she got in trouble, I would support her.
At the beginning of this school year, the same person tried to make trouble for her. My daughter stood her ground and told me she said "I'm not going to put up with your crap this year". The bully has pretty much left her alone since then.
This method works. "The Bridge to Terabithia" was a bullshit movie; you're not going to make the bully your friend, and they may have some shit going on in their lives as well, but that doesn't need to be your (or your kid's) problem. The only sure way to deal with this is to get crazy right back. You might take a beating, but chances are it will be the last one, so one time pays for all.

Last night my daughter came to me and told me a boy had been moved next to her who was causing problems; disrupting her work and throwing thumbtacks at her. Again, she says, she asked the teacher to move him, but was refused. Again, I told her to stand up for herself and meet him head on. She asked "But what if I get suspended?" I told her "Don't worry; I've got your back."
Sometimes kids just need that nod of approval to act on their own behalf, and to know that they've got support if they need it. From there, they can find their own strength.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm sure I was picked on a lot more than I was aware of in Elementary School as I spent all my time walking around with my head in the books, so I didn't notice. At least not until 5th grade where I got a lot of crap because a very unpopular girl had a crush on me. And I had my only physical altercation in school that same year when a kid took my ball out of my hands at recess so I punched him in the face. I got written up, but I guess if you're a good kid who doesn't bother anyone, and you punch the kid the teachers don't like, they won't rat your out to your parents as that never made it home. After that I don't remember being picked on again until 7th grade when some kid threw my copy of The Fellowship of the Ring into gym locker room toilet while I was gone. They never had a chance to gloat as I went from 0 to crazy in record time, demanding the person responsible to come forward and take credit. Oddly they never did. After that I never really had any problems again, just lived in my own nerdy world for the rest of my time in school. Probably didn't hurt that I got a girlfriend in high school to whom, unrelated to the point, I'm still with, as indicated that someone at least could tolearate me. Bullying sucks, and if I could tweak anything in my past, it would be to team up with the other kids getting bullyed so we could all make it stop.

Oh, and like that one guy who wrote in about the Game of Thrones metaphor, I also winced when Keith said it. No reason.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:25 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't recall anyone having a problem with me through school. Alicia Coleman certainly minded I was dating her boy best friend in eighth grade, but open hostility? meh.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Dominic View Post
Sometimes kids just need that nod of approval to act on their own behalf, and to know that they've got support if they need it. From there, they can find their own strength.
X 1,000,000
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Fighting back does work; and it doesn't always take physical altercations -- although I know it might have been different for me because I'm a woman. But I was verbally harassed constantly by boys and girls in my class. I was painfully shy and I think that was the weakness that made them attack. But when I finally got quick enough to throw better insults back at them, they gave up, because they didn't like getting hurt back.
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