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View Poll Results: After hearing this show, would you say that you date honestly?
Yes 25 58.14%
No 8 18.60%
Define ďdatingĒ 10 23.26%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-03-2018, 12:23 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Sakugenken View Post
Why would you keep dating someone if it won't go any further- Why not? If you are enjoying your time when you are on a date or having sex, it doesn't make it any less if you enjoy another person the next day. Just because a relationship is not destined to get more serious does not mean that it has no value.
Of course it does. It changes the dynamic of the relationship from then on. For some people the relationship no longer has value or the value diminishes as time goes on once a person admits that they are seeing multiple people, or are still unsure of the relationship, or want to take their time to commit to a person. As soon as your values are misaligned, issues will pop up.

If your goal is to have a serious relationship and you're seeing where it goes with each person, it's fine to do boyfriend-like activities with them. If you're only interested in sleeping around and you can tell they want more, then you're leading them on by going on dates with them and sharing more intimate time together. Yes, they could leave you. But some people are insecure or are inexperienced. There's not much you can do about this, except be aware of how close you are getting to a person.

In this particular case, the woman should leave him because apparently being with someone who dates multiple people is not what she wants, but she will continue to date him because there is the possibility that the relationship could grow in the future. Or she's enjoying it and is confused. Or she's incredibly insecure and doesn't think she could do find a better fit for her needs. But getting involved with a recent divorcee and expecting anything serious out of it right away is a mistake on her part.

In any case, being honest is the best way to approach the situation.
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Last edited by thirteen; 07-03-2018 at 12:25 PM.
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Old 07-03-2018, 12:31 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Why not question why someone would want to be in a situationship with someone who isn't on the same page as them?
This is a great question and deserving of dialogue. The only problem is that that is not what you are posing. Your failure to see that is remarkable.

Look. I usually enjoy yer posts. Youíre also clearly intelligent. That is why itís frustrating that youíre not getting it. Maybe you just donít wanna tap on this particular issue.

Iím not gonna endlessly post on this. Itís clearly pointless. Have a good one. Enjoy yer 4th.

Peace and love peace and love etc
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Old 07-04-2018, 11:09 AM   #73 (permalink)
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Gosh, what a back and forth!

I think the main problem is that it seems like mermaid isn't even reading what Keith is saying. The questions you're asking make it sound like you've not acknowledged the previous answers and you're coming off wilfully obtuse. And if you want to know the other side of the story as you say, you'll have to ask the girls because Keith can only tell you his side (which he's done repeatedly).

If Keith has told them how he feels and what he wants (and let's face it, he doesn't mince words) then it's definitely on the girls who aren't happy to end things. He's given them multiple opportunities to admit their feelings and walk away but so far they seem to want to stay and that's on them. If they've told them all is good and he's having fun (read enjoying Pound Town) why would he stop?

Q for Keith - have you changed your mind about open relationships? Can you see being in a serious relationship with someone but also dating others on the side or if you found someone you were really into would you be exclusive?
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Old 07-04-2018, 11:34 AM   #74 (permalink)
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And my experience...

I was dating a guy who specifically told me he didn't want to be my boyfriend (not that I'd asked) so surely that means that we're casual? Enjoying each other's company but not exclusive. Anyway, I carry on sleeping with other people. One day he's over and I have a shower, it's not until I get back that I see my diary on the bed. I hoped he hadn't read it, but it was quite clear from his mood he had. He confronted me later that night about it and I was like you didn't want to be my boyfriend! And he still didn't, so don't know what his problem was. After that I used shorthand to write in my diary 😂
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Old 07-04-2018, 11:42 AM   #75 (permalink)
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And my experience...



I was dating a guy who specifically told me he didn't want to be my boyfriend (not that I'd asked) so surely that means that we're casual? Enjoying each other's company but not exclusive. Anyway, I carry on sleeping with other people. One day he's over and I have a shower, it's not until I get back that I see my diary on the bed. I hoped he hadn't read it, but it was quite clear from his mood he had. He confronted me later that night about it and I was like you didn't want to be my boyfriend! And he still didn't, so don't know what his problem was. After that I used shorthand to write in my diary


Thatís a bitch move by that guy. Boo.


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Old 07-04-2018, 12:48 PM   #76 (permalink)
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No, Iíll never be into an open relationship with someone who I also consider my partner.

Yes, Iíll be in an exclusive relationship again without question.
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Old 07-04-2018, 06:07 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Reading someoneís diary is never a good idea. Do you keep seeing this guy?

Happy Independence Day to all my fellow yanks. Happy hump day to all others!
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:05 AM   #78 (permalink)
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If Keith has told them how he feels and what he wants (and let's face it, he doesn't mince words) then it's definitely on the girls who aren't happy to end things. He's given them multiple opportunities to admit their feelings and walk away but so far they seem to want to stay and that's on them. If they've told them all is good and he's having fun (read enjoying Pound Town) why would he stop?
I have acknowledged all of the above. Yall dont have to keep repeating it. I get it.

The bolded part is the part that I've been asking questions about.

They were lying and he knew they were lying. It was obvious enough that he asked his friends about it.

My questions are about why would he stick around after the initial smoke signals when he could just go have sex with someone else and avoid whatever she has going on with her emotions.

Yes, it would be great if she would have stood up for her own emotions and said what she really meant. But, she didn't.

Her emotional growth is not Keith's responsibility. So why not just go find a new sex partner after the first few signs that she was lying about being comfortable?

Yall told me that it would be infantilizing to not believe her. I don't agree. An obvious lie is an obvious lie. And you don't have to stick around to wait for the fallout of whatever emotional turmoil she's going through. That's something you do in a relationship, not with someone you just want to have sex with.

It's not all about him trying to spare her feelings. Some of it is about him avoiding her BS and believing his intuition.
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:08 AM   #79 (permalink)
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I have acknowledged all of the above. Yall dont have to keep repeating it. I get it.
Said my favorite of the ladies...

A moment of silence.
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:23 AM   #80 (permalink)
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I agree that she needs to learn emotional intelligence and communication so that she doesn't put herself in situations that hurt her emotionally.

But Keith doesn't have to volunteer himself as tribute to be a part of her personal growth. He didn't sign up for that.

He was/is having fun but seeing the signs of a crash ahead and jumping ship is probably something he should do in the future.

(That's if he cares. He could just become a emotional vigilante who goes around giving women hard lessons on standing up for themselves. But that sounds like a lot of stress.)
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