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View Poll Results: Have you ever seriously tried to commit suicide?
Yes 4 10.81%
No 33 89.19%
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-28-2019, 08:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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3177: Kickiní It w/ Ali Clayton and Melody Kamali

Showtime at the Apollo and literally kicking out punchlines; relationship petting; depression and bi-polar disorders; Trump Country, drinking, and suicide; family secrets; dirty talk

Guests:
Ali Clayton


Melody Kamali



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Old 10-29-2019, 05:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm glad Chemda called Ali out on the dude kissing her arse thing. When she was talking about getting her boob out I thought it was a bit odd (comparable to someone getting their dick out) but thought maybe she could get away with it because of her mental health. But yeah, the bum kissing was messed up.

Hilarious episode though (with some sad bits)! Two great guests, and really fun chemistry. But that part did make me feel icky.
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Old 10-29-2019, 10:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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This episode hit me hard when you guys talked about family reactions to depression and suicide attempts. I was in inpatient psych this January due to having suicidal thoughts-if I had gone home I was going to take a butcher knife and cut into my legs until I could let cut anymore. My husband has known about my struggles with depression, PCOS (poly cystic ovary syndrome) and PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), but didnít know how bad it had gotten. Part of what complicated things was that my thyroid was severely out of whack.

It wasnít the first or last time I had suicidal thoughts. Pretty much ever since I started my period I would get severely depressed before my periods. My parents acted like it was a behavioral thing and my dad especially would tell me to get the fuck over it. So of course I never told them about wanting to kill myself. Iím actually shocked I lived through high school. I even wrote depressing poems and submitted them to our high school journal. The committee took it to the counselor who dismissed it saying ďyou have good parents and live in a good neighborhood. You are just writing stuff right it?Ē Of course I agreed with him.

One time in my 20s I got into a bad argument with my dad where I left the house and he called me berating me as I was driving on the highway. I ended up hanging up on him only for my mom to call to try to see what was wrong. At that point I told her I didnít need my dad saying shitty things about myself because I hated myself so much I regularly cut myself. She never ever mentioned or brought that up when I saw her again.

So with the hospitalization my parents were surprised and worried and seemed supportive. My dad then said that some days I just need to push through no matter how hard it is (which is part of the reason I ended up in the hospital because I just kept trying to push through) and then he asked me not to post about it on Facebook or tell my grandma because she would get hysterical. They donít really talk to me about it anymore. They checked in throughout the first few months but then stopped asking.

The worst thing someone can do is to act like nothing happened or that you didnít say something about feeling depressed/hurting yourself. Yes it is a difficult thing to hear and talk about. Frankly Iíd rather hear, Iím not sure what to say or how to help, but Iím here for you. This shit gets so lonely and most people feel crazy and donít want to burden people. If someone discloses something and then that other person ignores it, we interpret that as ďI canít/donít want to deal with itĒ


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Old 10-29-2019, 11:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Littlp

Glad you got help and are talking about it. We canít let this be taboo. Itís a real and serious part of life.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Lots of love.


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Old 11-01-2019, 03:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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"Is she a Trump supporter?"
"Yep"
"What sickness does she have?"
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Old 11-08-2019, 03:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I loved this episode! Fun Apollo memory: I (white person) attended a taping of Showtime at the Apollo once with some other white people, and we were some of the only white folks in the house. Sadly, we were there for a taping of the season finale where they decide on the season champion so there was NO BOOING! There happened to be one white act (female singer). At the end, they asked the crowd to cheer for who the winner should be, and we cheered for our favorites (not the white girl), and the folks near us asked why not, since we obviously had to be there for her, being white and all. I joked, hey, not all white people know each other, and we all laughed.

Also, I GASPED when Ali talked about humping the stump. Like going to a church and, well, humping the cross.
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