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-   -   3248: Love in the Time of Corona (http://www.keithandthegirl.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21765)

Keith 03-18-2020 01:18 PM

3248: Love in the Time of Corona
 
Quarantine, grocery shopping, cam girls, vasectomies, and restaurant-worthy sandwiches; Joe Biden and Keithís dad continue to defeat Bernie Sanders; Brother Love, Tennessee gun owner

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Archimedes_Screw 03-18-2020 02:28 PM

Thank you for working so hard to get episodes out. I truly appreciate it.

Archimedes_Screw 03-18-2020 02:37 PM

A timeline of Trump's coronavirus statements:

Jan. 22: "It's going to be just fine. We have it totally under control."

Jan. 24: "It will all work out well."

Jan. 30: "We think we have it very well under control."

Feb. 7: "Ö as the weather starts to warm & the virus hopefully becomes weaker, and then gone."

Feb. 10: "I think the virus is going to be -- it's going to be fine."

Feb. 14: "... weíre in very good shape."

Feb. 19: "I think it's going to work out fine."

Feb. 24: "The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA."

Feb. 25: "You may ask about the coronavirus, which is very well under control in our country. We have very few people with it ..."

Feb. 26: "Because of all we've done, the risk to the American people remains very low."

Feb. 28: "I think it's really going well."

Feb. 28: "It's going to disappear. One day, it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

Feb. 28: "This is their new hoax."

March 4: "Some people will have this at a very light level and won't even go to a doctor or hospital, and they'll get better."

March 10: "... it will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away."

March 11: "I think we're going to get through it very well."

March 12: "It's going to go away. ... The United States, because of what I did and what the administration did with
China, we have 32 deaths at this point..."

March 15: "This is a very contagious virus. It's incredible. But it's something that we have tremendous control over."

March 16: "If you're talking about the virus, no, that's not under control for any place in the world."

March 17: "I've always known this is a, this is a real, this is a pandemic Ö I've felt that it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."

invader 03-18-2020 02:55 PM

No way Biden can win against Trump especially if Hillary, specifically, was to be his V.P. Too many angry Bernie Bros. are going to vote for Trump if Bernie doesn't get the nomination. It's like the DNC learned nothing four years ago.

Scorpion 03-18-2020 02:57 PM

Quarantined
 
My wife doesnít want me to get within 6 feet (2 meters) let alone touch her.
I WAS traveling a lot and have had to be at work. She is unhappy and scared. Iím not mad at her or anything, I get it. It makes me sad because I want to at least hug her to make us both feel better. Itís hard.

Apia resurrected 03-18-2020 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion (Post 882164)
My wife doesnít want me to get within 6 feet (2 meters) let alone touch her.
I WAS traveling a lot and have had to be at work. She is unhappy and scared. Iím not mad at her or anything, I get it. It makes me sad because I want to at least hug her to make us both feel better. Itís hard.

If you are living together it doesn't matter. You might as well.

sievo 03-18-2020 04:26 PM

Speaking about school, I work at a university here in Montreal. Obviously everyone is working from home. The government closed all schools for 2 weeks, so all classes are cancelled until the 30th then we're offering all courses online for the rest of the semester including final exams. At one point I heard grumblings that this might risk the whole semester for our students but I really hope that isn't the case and they still get the credits.

This is insane and I agree with you Keith, it's going to be more like a month+ than weeks...

And yeah, we weren't allowed to work from home until we were required to (assholes!). I love it! Might just tell them I want to keep it up after :D

Apia resurrected 03-18-2020 04:39 PM

Itís obviously awful.
Everything is VERBOTEN.
Iím waiting for the total shutdown to come.
Things I will be allowed to do than:

1.Going to the supermarket
2.walking the dog once a day

Bucho 03-18-2020 05:46 PM

This was a lot of fun as always, but for the next ep can you please also have Andrea and/or Julia Skype into the call and laugh at you guys as they sit 10 or so feet away from their mics?

Rune 03-18-2020 06:02 PM

Motherfuck 2020
 
We had a 5.7 earthquake that shook us out of sleep 7am on my off day, and started hurling things across the room here in UT. The airport is down and flooded. The Mormon temple Moroni statue lost its trumpet lol. We’re still getting scattered ”tremors” in the high 3s. I’m getting the hang of feeling out magnitude like a goddamn human seismometer. We have no running water, but thank Corona we’re stockpiled. Ironically, the earthquake seems like it’s undermining the social distancing efforts. Power is out in some parts, but thankfully we have it. What an eventful year this is turning out to be. Stay safe out there, all.

Thanks to the poll, I’m now wondering if anyone was getting laid while it hit. Must be quite the experience to have the ground beneath you gyrating as well.

Scorpion 03-18-2020 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apia resurrected (Post 882165)
If you are living together it doesn't matter. You might as well.

Well then you could say the same about working together and then why do anything just fuck it all, get sick and die. ;)

Seriously though I donít think itís unreasonable, I come home put my clothes in the wash and take s as shower before I do anything else. Itís not so inconvenient and considering the possible consequences itís ďcool coolĒ

I hope I can stay home more soon but w were making a new transmission for the hottest new car so there is a lot going on, hopefully new information from out customers will make this possible

Rufio 03-18-2020 09:22 PM

Health PSA
 
Coronavirus is airborne. Donít take health advice from comedians, regardless of how entertaining they are.

ďWhen the virus becomes suspended in droplets smaller than 5 micrometers ó known as aerosols ó it can stay suspended for about a half-hour, researchers said, before drifting down and settling on surfaces where it can linger for hours.Ē

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nyt...osols.amp.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost....ve-in-air/amp/

Jay86 03-18-2020 10:43 PM

Keith: "DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE!"

Me, touching my face absent-mindedly: "Oh shit, fuck. Thanks!"

FingerLakes 03-19-2020 01:58 AM

re: whoever the guy was who said he had cornoa but his house was hott
 
last week before my job closed we had a client call to cancel an appointment the day before it was scheduled. He called on the phone when he usually sends emails or makes his wife do it. I asked if he was ok he replies "Nah man. I caught Coronavirus last week." My fucking stomach drops, "What!? Fuck are you okay?"
"Better now. Be careful."

I tell my boss and the last person who worked on him and we're all silently freaking and trying to calculate how much time passed since the last him he was in, could we have been infected, were other clients infected? My coworker cancels her shifts at her other job and calls her family who she say over the weekend t tell them they might be infected. I call him back for more details like when he was diagnosed and were they able to tell him how long it was in him before he got symptoms.

"Oh I wasn't tested. I just felt really REALLY sick (while traveling to a resort in Colorado) and I don't EVER get sick."

"..."
"so you weren't tested but you're just going around telling people you have Corona?"

An hour later his wife calls and tries to take his appointment for the next day.
"So...you were sick first, now your husband is sick and you feel okay but you want to come into our office?"
"yeah. I feel much better this week."

EVERYONE IS FUCKING STUPID
(no, we did not let her come in)

FingerLakes 03-19-2020 02:01 AM

I'm surprised Kyle is taking that train all the way queens. That seems like a lot of potential places to share in some contamination. But eh. I guess the things we do for dick.

Jenni 03-19-2020 02:38 AM

What new thing am I making during quarantine.. milk. I had a baby 2 weeks ago. Thankfully before the hospitals got busy in the UK. Iím never leaving the house again!

Iím always grateful to you guys for this podcast but particularly during this time. Itís crazy weíre all living through the same thing on the other side of the world.

Apia resurrected 03-19-2020 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion (Post 882171)
Well then you could say the same about working together and then why do anything just fuck it all, get sick and die. ;)

Seriously though I donít think itís unreasonable, I come home put my clothes in the wash and take s as shower before I do anything else. Itís not so inconvenient and considering the possible consequences itís ďcool coolĒ

I hope I can stay home more soon but w were making a new transmission for the hottest new car so there is a lot going on, hopefully new information from out customers will make this possible

We are doing all the things to protect the elderly and the immune compromised.
To prevent the health care system from collapsing.
Thatís why we try to minimize contact.
If you are living together there is no hiding. And probably you wouldnít be so bad off if you get it. I personally am not afraid of the virus FOR ME or Mr Apia or the kids.
We are too young and healthy. But we separate and isolate to protect others, the society.
Have you seen the chart?

https://www.statista.com/chart/20860...y-rate-by-age/

Apia resurrected 03-19-2020 02:45 AM

Itís very unlikely you would die from it.

Apia resurrected 03-19-2020 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rufio (Post 882173)
Coronavirus is airborne. Don’t take health advice from comedians, regardless of how entertaining they are.

“When the virus becomes suspended in droplets smaller than 5 micrometers — known as aerosols — it can stay suspended for about a half-hour, researchers said, before drifting down and settling on surfaces where it can linger for hours.”

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nyt...osols.amp.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost....ve-in-air/amp/

True but that’s not enough to be contagious.
Finding virus on surfaces isn’t the same as it still be strong enough to be contagious.

John Petri 03-19-2020 05:25 AM

im not getting laid....but that was going on before the pandemic....and will probably outlive it, whether i do or not :o

Scorpion 03-19-2020 06:07 AM

:eek:
Quote:

Originally Posted by John Petri (Post 882183)
im not getting laid....but that was going on before the pandemic....and will probably outlive it, whether i do or not :o

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Scorpion 03-19-2020 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apia resurrected (Post 882179)
We are doing all the things to protect the elderly and the immune compromised.
To prevent the health care system from collapsing.
Thatís why we try to minimize contact.
If you are living together there is no hiding. And probably you wouldnít be so bad off if you get it. I personally am not afraid of the virus FOR ME or Mr Apia or the kids.
We are too young and healthy. But we separate and isolate to protect others, the society.
Have you seen the chart?

https://www.statista.com/chart/20860...y-rate-by-age/

Im diabetic and my sister-in-law has a heart condition so there is risk of dieting... stupid phone not dieting, death. Well sure dieting would help but... the point is we have risk and it is scary

shoebootie 03-19-2020 12:31 PM

I'm too depressed to fuck.

I live and work in New Jersey. I've been home since Saturday, working remotely since Monday, my daughter's school is closed. I've been ok taking it day-by-day and trying to not think about the long term too much, except last night I took in some information and data analysis that I wish I hadn't and it put me in a dark place.

I doubt schools will re-open before summer.

I don't think my workplace will be normally attended for at least two months.

Positive cases & deaths in my state are rising daily.

I'm selfishly upset about things in my life that will be cancelled, I'm upset about the societal ramifications of this pandemic, I'm terrified this is the collapse of our whole economy, and everything is bad and I am not feeling mentally good but I'm trying to get back to that one day at a time.

Maybe it's a good time to start OMAT.

Thank you for recording shows, you made me laugh, and it helps.

Apia resurrected 03-19-2020 01:24 PM

I'm pro sex now. Obviously not with a new partner.
That's what a virus can't do. It can only replicate itself. No sexy times for the Corona. Take that virus!

Peterda 03-19-2020 02:27 PM

Of course, my wife definitely wants it more than I do, either way.

shoebootie 03-19-2020 03:10 PM

Billy Procida is quarantined with his GF and his GF's BF.

https://www.thecut.com/2020/03/what-...isolation.html

punk'n 03-19-2020 06:28 PM

I'm surprised about how good my bf and I are doing, both working from home in the same room. We are getting along great. I'm about to choke my fucking cat tho. It's like I have a 10 pound weight on me everytime I sit or lay down and this annoying little beast follows me from room to room 24/7. If we run out of food, she's getting BBQ'd for sure.

Don't worry, I'm not a mother to human babies.

Sparrow 03-19-2020 07:58 PM

we’re acknowledging early that two months is a long time to be together all the time. we’re gonna get on each others’ nerves. currently, am getting laid a lot. and like, good. tonight we’re pretending we’re on Spring Break, drinking cheap beer, and listening to Rehab’s Southern Discomfort album. boredom is gonna catch up soon.

Archimedes_Screw 03-20-2020 09:51 AM

There is a growing trend of comics doing their sets in front of their cats. Iím loving it.

FingerLakes 03-20-2020 11:54 AM

If anyone sees any new work from home jobs pop up DM your favorite Lakes Boy. Anime and video games and work out vids can only sustain me for so long. Plus my job doesn't have enough money to keep us paid and not working past next week 😞

SpareBen 03-20-2020 01:21 PM

Rosebud Baker is among the comedians stepping up their podcast output - 7 episodes this week.

punk'n 03-20-2020 01:50 PM

I just got approved for Unemployment in my state in less than 48 hours. Holy shit... the government has cut out red tape. This is baaaadd.

SLC Shawn 03-20-2020 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punk'n (Post 882205)
I just got approved for Unemployment in my state in less than 48 hours. Holy shit... the government has cut out red tape. This is baaaadd.

Texas Workforce Commission apply for benefits page is crashed I think - you get only so far...

g001dfinger 03-21-2020 02:18 PM

Iím pretty sure Brother Love bought himself a starter pistol. That thing is only good for track and field. Haha.

Lanfear 03-22-2020 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by g001dfinger (Post 882223)
Iím pretty sure Brother Love bought himself a starter pistol. That thing is only good for track and field. Haha.

'Murica QFT

If anybody ever asks why you have so many mass shootings and generally stupid high murder rate I'm gonna show this post.

Let's revisit in 2021 how many kids accidentally shot themselves or their siblings because they were locked up in quarantine, also let's keep track of domestic violence rates.

g001dfinger 03-22-2020 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lanfear (Post 882232)
'Murica QFT

If anybody ever asks why you have so many mass shootings and generally stupid high murder rate I'm gonna show this post.

Let's revisit in 2021 how many kids accidentally shot themselves or their siblings because they were locked up in quarantine, also let's keep track of domestic violence rates.

If youíre going to buy a gun, do it correctly. Get educated. Get trained. Understand the severity of what your decision is. Based on the picture, it looks like BL did not do that. So point your anger at him.

Lanfear 03-22-2020 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by g001dfinger (Post 882233)
If youíre going to buy a gun, do it correctly. Get educated. Get trained. Understand the severity of what your decision is. Based on the picture, it looks like BL did not do that. So point your anger at him.

Nope I'm gonna point my anger at you because your first instinct was to make fun of him for not getting a big enough gun. And also for now pretending that it wasn't about that.

g001dfinger 03-22-2020 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lanfear (Post 882234)
Nope I'm gonna point my anger at you because your first instinct was to make fun of him for not getting a big enough gun. And also for now pretending that it wasn't about that.

Heís more likely to hurt himself with what he bought then if he bought an appropriate gun. That gun has no grip and looks to be way too big of a caliber. Heís more likely to hurt himself or others with that than an appropriate .22 or 380.

Apia resurrected 03-22-2020 09:03 AM

Just cough at any intruders. That's cheaper.

g001dfinger 03-22-2020 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apia resurrected (Post 882236)
Just cough at any intruders. That's cheaper.

Or a big sign that says ďThis house protected by Coronavirus.Ē


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