3389: ¡Ay, caramba! w/ Dana Gould

[Bucho]

I have some pretty extreme family (including a cousin who was pretty much kicked out of parliament for Islamophobia) and have read a shit-ton about how to navigate the insane cultural polarization brewed and stoked by both media and social media over the last decade or so, and the way Keith and Dana describe handling their situations with family members who are on The Dark Side (i.e., keeping lines of communication open by focusing on commonalities while avoiding politics) is exactly how pretty much every social psychologist I've read/listened to recommends handling it.

That said, obviously every relationship has its own specifics and I have friends who have needed to cut relationships off for their own mental health. In all situations a mofo is best to stick to the lifeguard code (if you can't rescue someone in trouble without risking them pulling you both under then fuck 'em).

[Apia resurrected]

I don’t have siblings so that’s good for once and they can’t disappoint me with their views.
My father has sometimes strange views but he improved and you can convince him with facts, so he is not hopeless.

Father in law is a narcissist who loves to be provocative. I only saw him once in Covid so that’s good.

[punk'n]

I'm an only child but my closest cousin and my favorite aunt have pretty much cut me off because they're Trumpers and they forward me all these stupid emails, then I quickly Google the claims made in the email and respond with the actual truth. They hate it.

And my "in- laws" uninvited us to all family gatherings because of something my bf wrote on Facebook about not liking the kids in cages at the border. So..... I get it.

[Buddhaful Queer]

[Scorpion]

I enjoyed the guest but he could give a fuck more about his time on a show any show. Just because he is working from home doesn't mean it's not serious. His behavior didn't make him look good.

[Blitzgal]

My step-father was laid off from his job several years ago and since then has only sporadically been able to find solid work. Since then, he's had a ton of time to discover the ugly side of YouTube. And because my mother is done listening to him, whenever I'm over there he unleashes all of this shit on me, because he knows I'm a progressive feminist. I will never forget three years ago, where he announces that most women lie about rape. We are literally sitting down eating Christmas dinner. And he tries quoting dipshit Jordan Peterson at me. Neither one of them know I was molested by a daycare provider. I almost threw it in his face. But that was finally the moment where I said to myself, "I'm done." I will not discuss any bullshit with him anymore. I just shut down every one of those conversations and refuse to engage. He's not a Trumper, he fancies himself a "libertarian," but fuck those guys too.

Since the pandemic I've been able to limit my interactions and mostly video chat with my mother.

[Scorpion]

I may be a dick for saying this but I feel it's more of a confession...

I didn't notice the upside-down !

Sorry, I feel like shit now.

[Apia resurrected]

My father is an interesting case.
He is a smart person, but on his own he reads strange suspicious content in the way of: the government wants to steal our money and ... add some strange theory here. He wants somehow to see himself and other middle class people as some kind of victim of the system, now with Covid (but he is very good with social distancing and wearing a mask at least) same with the refugees a few years ago. The funny thing is he was absolutely the same when we lived in Poland. He always said Poland was terrible and Germany the best. Now that we live in Germany he does the same here even if his life is much, much better.

When we talk to him, Mr Apia and I he is capable to see the facts and logic and comes back from his trip. It’s important to take care of your elders and not loose them to the media! ( this is supposed to be a funny comment. Like kid, don’t watch TV all day, it will break your brain. Some elders are hopeless cases and it’s not your responsibility here to try to bring them back from insanity)
What is this disease?

[CsisandDesist]

Originally Posted by Apia resurrected

He wants somehow to see himself and other middle class people as some kind of victim of the system, now with Covid (but he is very good with social distancing and wearing a mask at least) same with the refugees a few years ago.

THIS (where is the up arrow dammit.)

I think most of the problem is the victim mentality, they want to feel like there is a force outside of there control, when really you just need to control how you react to things and your behaviour with authority.