^this is what i’m talking about: “if i could just word it exactly right, they will respond the way i want and it will make me feel better.” it’s a hole not worth digging.

you don’t need his involvement to know that something real happened to you and you don’t need his feelings about it to heal your heart.

And gives them all the power.

I agree.

My parents, mom especially, were always highly suspicious of babysitters and daycare, so we never had any of that, and I know they gave up a lot to make sure they were the primary caregivers.

Still got molested though.

At Sunday school.

It was the same thing, Chemda. Hand down my pants, and too young to know what was going on, but somehow felt ashamed about it still. And the thing that confused me the most was the semi-publicness of it, bc it was right there at the (large) table with other clusters of teachers and students, though they were somewhat spread out.

This guy was no teenager though, it was a middle-aged dude who volunteered to teach the scriptures. Sometimes, when I remember that, I wonder how many of us he did that to, or where he is now. I remember his face and what he smelled like (cigarettes), but I don’t know his name.

I also vividly remember this guy shaking my dad’s hand when he came to pick me up, and my dad thanking him for teaching me. Later, I remember throwing a tantrum about not returning and my parents thinking I was being influenced by the devil (for not wanting to learn the scriptures). Thankfully, they didn’t force me to go. And I never did tell them.

I guess if I did have this guy’s Facebook, I’d be curious to see if he still “volunteers” to teach scripture.

I'm really sorry you went through that. As a parent, going through this kind of shit made me really distrustful of male babysitters and there are not many men I would trust to be alone with my child.

Yeah. I don’t know what the right answer is, bc I had overprotective parents, IMO. I always used to think my parents were too suspicious. I suspect something may have happened to my mom as well to make her like that. It was a bit OTT, like I couldn’t do sleepovers or go to summer camp, etc, and yet interestingly their suspicions stopped with religion, which I later came to disbelieve in and now find myself incredibly suspicious of wherever children are concerned. It’s hard bc there’s no way to know where the line should be.

And that’s why religion is dangerous.
That’s how the creep priests got away with it for so long. Parents thought they talk to god so obviously everything is cool here.
It makes me extra, super mad.

I'm trying to research this weird statement that your mom is a princess, based on these religious loopholes...

How is this spelled, I can't even begin to guess on the phonetics of poojie or paczi or whatever ... from what i know paczi is a jelly donut in polish. What's the sect of catholicism, byzantine catholic?

Because i've been googling this and coming up with nothing so far. He's so full of shit, I don't know why I waste my time on this...

I know Pharma Queen Apia can help me out with polish/eastern european spelling and research! There's a delicious paczi in it for ya!