3612: Burying the Lede w/ Christian Finnegan

[Keith]

I did find my way through it. I’m not seeing my dad. I’m through it.

[Hera Again]

Originally Posted by Keith

I did find my way through it. I’m not seeing my dad. I’m through it.

Well I guess we know who the one person voting for Ken is 😀

[cupcakesnsprinkles]

Oh man Keith, so sorry to hear about that. And how awesome of a friend is Christian? I just wanted to cry for both of them all episode.

[klika]

Even though elaborate, Keith's dad missed some key elements of a good logistics note:
how to get to the venue
what clothing will be appropriate for the weather
what type of plug, currency and language is used at the location
how to obtain a visa
covid vaccination requirements
emergency contacts
per diem and reimbursements

Keith, please pass them on to him.

[FreydNot]

I listened to this episode in several parts, getting to the end last night. Wow, what a roller-coaster of a ride. An instant classic for sure.

Did Chemda know the news before the show? Surely she must have, right? If it were happening to me, I can't imagine I could keep that to myself for a few hours, let alone a day and longer. This was clearly news to Christian and he handled it like a champ.

**spoiler alert**

It was weird when Keith was reading the obituary and said November instead of December. Surely Keith just misspoke while reading, right?

I couldn't bring myself to vote in the poll. I see both sides of it and go back and forth each time I think about it. I guess the only way Keith is making a mistake is if he wanted to be at the funeral but feels he can't because his dad will be there. I can't tell if Keith would want to attend if father Malley weren't present at all. Maybe yes, maybe no. I know the church part is distasteful for him. Has he really made his peace and attending the funeral is completely unnecessary? Unhelpful even? Maybe. Only Keith can know for sure, and maybe even he can't know for sure until more time has passed.

That's really the crux of the issue. Will Keith come to regret not going to the funeral. He says no and I believe him. Or maybe he's putting on a brave face for his siblings and providing a good example of standing up to their fathers oppression. Maybe both. Does he wish it could be different? Of course. Maybe there could be another way. Maybe one of the kids could take father Malley away from the funeral at the end and Keith could attend with the siblings for a few moments. Would Keith even want that? Probably not. But on the odd chance he does, he could probably make that happen.

It's a tough situation and sucks all around. All you can do is what feels right to you. And Keith has a strong sense of that.

Everyone plays the "what if" game, trying to avoid any regrets. Once the funeral is over, it's done and you can't go back. All you can do is what you feel is best for you and the ones you love. Sorry you're going through this Keith.

[dEadERest]

i served weekly, funerals and weddings, small town California, sometimes more than one a Saturday. I don't remember arguments, what an odd thing to make up But, keet's pop is unique
..still can't vote yet, back to listening..

[bluenova]

Wow, it is so frustrating how much pressure Keith still gets. I know they all got bad treatment, but just because they decided they are okay with enduring shitty behavior doesn't mean it's okay to require other people to do the same. My understanding is that Keith's decision was made because he doesn't wish to condone the behavior anymore. It doesn't matter if he's no longer being affected as much or is a strong person. Allowing it to happen is co-signing it is okay. This is like not going to a church that is telling him his gay brother is a sinner and going to hell. He's not allowing the bad to get a pass because it also associates itself with "good".

Keith's dad will do whatever it can to logic Keith not showing up to suit the dad's ego, but at least the dad doesn't get the slam dunk of self satisfaction and power boost if Keith were to show up.

Also, I am sure this is frustrating for the people on the receiving end, but it is so funny when Keith knows he's not truly being listened to by an open mind and stops taking arguments seriously because he knows it will go no where. "Don't tell her", hahahaha.

[shoebootie]

Sending you love during this rough time, Keith. As prepared as we think we are for this sort of thing... it still stings.

Your brother lashing out at you isn't that much of a shock. A similar thing happened between my brother and I when my mom passed. He was so awful to me, so unbearably awful. I try to forgive and move on, but I clearly won't ever forget, and that scar on our relationship will never fully heal.

Hoping everything goes as well as can be expected this week...

[shoebootie]

Honestly, most shocking, is all he has to offer up to eat is Stouffer's frozen meals.

NO CHILI? NONE OF YOUR FAMOUS CHILI THAT HAD A MAN GO OUT AND DECIDE TO GET MARRIED? THE CHILI THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPS? WHAT THE FUCK MIKE MALLEY? WHAT THE FUCK.

[Mado]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss, Keith. She must have been a wonderful woman. I know what a special place we can hold in our hearts for the parent who was loving and kept us going despite the horrible other.