957: Enjoy Yourself

[marina]

I didn't have sex until I was 19, and I don't have a memory of when I started masturbating. It seems like something I've always done.

I think my mom was one of the moms that took her sex-talks a little over the line. She offered to buy me a dildo when I was around 12 or 13, she suggested for us to sit facing each other and examine out vaginas together when I was about 14. I declined each of these offers because that was far too creepy.

On the other hand, I did spend a few years thinking that my vagina was deformed since I didn't really know A. what it looked like (the concept of using a hand mirror was beyond me at that young age) and B. what it was supposed to look like. It wasn't until way after I assumed that it was normal that I finally got a book with detailed enough pictures and diagrams to let me know for sure that everything belonged where it was. I also could have used a dildo around in my teen years just to ease that extra tension, but I didn't buy one until I was 20 and already living with Dr. Boyfriend.

I think that there are some things teens need to learn, just maybe not from their moms. However, my mom did tell me about masturbation, which not only put a name to the thing I was already doing for my whole life, it also made it okay-and I stopped thinking that there was something wrong with me (which appears to be a theme in my childhood.) It's not like I would have not done it had my mom not said anything, but it would have continued to be a habit that disturbed me.

If I ever do have children I would of course want them to have sex-safe, responsible, educated and consensual sex just like I had and continue to have. I probably won't be as weird about talking about it as my mom though. I think because my grandma didn't talk about it at all, my mom probably overshot the mark. IMHO, the sex talk should be more like a sex conversation that works it's way around daily life, just like sex itself.

[illution]

I think this poll cannnot really be answered by a yes or no. I think it depends on what gender you are at that age. I think that if you are a guy you wanna be fucking naturally within your instincts and masturbation will provoke that urge. If you are a female I think that the answer to the poll becomes more complicated. Females at a younger age are naturally more reserved and withhold themselves from sex. I voted "yes" from a guys perspective because I know that masturbation made me want to fuck, but I really couldn't say if it would if I was a chick. I don't know if I am making any sense, but thats my two cents.
On another note, anyone know if there are any shows this week? Or are Keith and Chemda taking the week off? Just wondering. Thanks, Peace!

[funnygurl1979]

Originally Posted by Keith

Ages are important next to your story/opinion. A picture of you is preferable, but at least your age.

I thought 1979 might give it away i'm 29yrs old, a woman, sober, and i care about this message. I'm new to the forums, bad with the whole computer thing so posting a pic that fits in the peramiters is next to impossible

I've been listening to the show since Show 723 and have been hooked ever since, you and Chemda are funny and i love those NY accents.

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by funnygurl1979

Never had sex but masturbated alot.

Originally Posted by funnygurl1979

I thought 1979 might give it away i'm 29yrs old, a woman, sober, and i care about this message. I'm new to the forums, bad with the whole computer thing so posting a pic that fits in the peramiters is next to impossible

I've been listening to the show since Show 723 and have been hooked ever since, you and Chemda are funny and i love those NY accents.

Somebody is gonna ask so it might as well be me - WHY oh WHY? You do not need computer skills to have sex.

[DarkKnightJared]

Originally Posted by GirlNextDoor

Yeah the innocence will be gone if you talk to them or not. I was talked to and my mother revisited the subject every few months incase I had new qestion. She taught me not to do anything until I was ready. And never me pressured into doing anything. If kids are not to sure what sex is what stoping someone from taking advantage of them

Sorry about spelling and what not wrote this on a touch screen it does what it wants

Yeah, my mom gave me different versions of "the talk" from when I was a pre-teen until I turned 18. Pretty clinical, and besides showing me what a condom looked like out of the package (a bit uncomfortable, but Mariana's reminds me it could have been a hell of a lot worse), she wasn't weird about it--just told me that when I'm mature enough to handle the potential consequences that could come with sex, then I should be able to. Not a bad message, I think.

Originally Posted by RachaelBachael

Saying masturbation is the gateway to sex is like saying crawling is the gateway to walking. Most people masturbate first, then have sex. The important thing to know is anyone can masturbate (unless you're suppa fat and confined to a bed i guess) but not just anyone can get laid (without paying someone). Masturbation helps people get off when others aren't available.

Good point--espicially that first, bolded bit.

[Mike C]

Masturbation is more like self reliance as opposed to a gateway to fucking. This self reliance has probably helped avoid a lot of disease, unexpected pregnancies and heart ache over time. Making it a sin or some kind of demonic mystery is probably one of the most destructive bits of stupidity society has given us.

Also, there is huge difference between letting your kid know that masturbation is a natural thing that could well be a substitute to intercourse, and, getting all creepy about it. Of course, if you don’t have any practice talking to your kid(s), it’s ALL creepy to YOU! And, that inadequacy is YOURS as a parent. If that’s your situation, perhaps you should have stuck to masturbating as opposed to pounding out a kid with your privates. If you do have kids, though, and you are not able to talk to them, then maybe you’ll want to make sure your kids friends have good parents who CAN and HAVE talked to their kids because your kids will be learning it from their friends.

As far as religion goes, I respect everyone’s right to be whatever religion they with but even with a Catholic up bringing, I’d still choose stepping out of the way of a speeding truck as opposed to praying for it to not hit me. If God gave me a brain, I’d think he/she/it would expect me to use it as opposed to attempting to tempt fate just because of a few “beliefs” – many of which were probably developed by the humans who blamed God for it anyway. I will, however, ask God to bless Joycelyn Elders.

Joycelyn Elders
United States Surgeon General
1993-1994

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by Mike C

Masturbation is more like self reliance as opposed to a gateway to fucking. This self reliance has probably helped avoid a lot of disease, unexpected pregnancies and heart ache over time. Making it a sin or some kind of demonic mystery is probably one of the most destructive bits of stupidity society has given us.

Also, there is huge difference between letting your kid know that masturbation is a natural thing that could well be a substitute to intercourse, and, getting all creepy about it. Of course, if you don’t have any practice talking to your kid(s), it’s ALL creepy to YOU! And, that inadequacy is YOURS as a parent. If that’s your situation, perhaps you should have stuck to masturbating as opposed to pounding out a kid with your privates. If you do have kids, though, and you are not able to talk to them, then maybe you’ll want to make sure your kids friends have good parents who CAN and HAVE talked to their kids because your kids will be learning it from their friends.

As far as religion goes, I respect everyone’s right to be whatever religion they with but even with a Catholic up bringing, I’d still choose stepping out of the way of a speeding truck as opposed to praying for it to not hit me. If God gave me a brain, I’d think he/she/it would expect me to use it as opposed to attempting to tempt fate just because of a few “beliefs” – many of which were probably developed by the humans who blamed God for it anyway. I will, however, ask God to bless Joycelyn Elders.

Joycelyn Elders
United States Surgeon General
1993-1994

Listen to the master, children ... I'd let my kids play at Mike's house any day. If you answer kid's questions honestly when they come up naturally, it isn't weird. Things get strange when you don't have regular and open conversations and you force the issue because you feel it's time for "the talk."

All that said, Oprah is television, not reality. She's there to put on a show and anyone who thinks differently needs to reconsider their perspective.

[Amravanti]

[Calloused]

I didn't know Jack Kirby was still doing illustrations, but the video argues Chemda's viewpoints on ghosts nicely:

YouTube - Open-mindedness

[DarkKnightJared]

Originally Posted by John Galt

Listen to the master, children ... I'd let my kids play at Mike's house any day. If you answer kid's questions honestly when they come up naturally, it isn't weird. Things get strange when you don't have regular and open conversations and you force the issue because you feel it's time for "the talk."

Good point--kids aren't the ones making it awkward. When I asked my parents about anything, it wasn't to make them uncomfortable--I was just curious. That awkwardness is purely on the parents, and more than likely the kids will remember that more then any answer you give them.