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Old 01-02-2014, 11:41 PM   #40871 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Paraquat View Post
Plus it's also one of my fantasies to have sex with a girl who I know so little about that I don't even know her name.
I'll shave my legs & jump on a plane.

You can call me "Scumette", bby.
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Old 01-02-2014, 11:41 PM   #40872 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:05 AM   #40873 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:05 AM   #40874 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:09 AM   #40875 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:14 AM   #40876 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:18 AM   #40877 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:19 AM   #40878 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Paraquat View Post
Don't judge me!
Yes, I have a girlfriend but it's nearing the end.
I'm not happy with her. She knows it. All my friends say I'm miserable. We're seeing a counselor, as retarded as that is.
I just want to enjoy what's left of my youth.
She keeps saying how she wants jewelery and vacations but shes been unemployed so long they're cutting her off in a week. I have been working stupid overtime lately and it's driving me nuts trying to pay my bills and her bills.
I can't kick her out because I'm a bleeding heart and she has no place to go. She couldn't afford an apartment when we met and she sure can't on zero income.

Yes, I tried breaking up with her. She slammed the door, drove to the end of the street, turned around and came back.

Yes, I tried the fake it til you make it method.

I've had sex maybe six or eight times this year. I already wasted most of my best years.

Plus it's also one of my fantasies to have sex with a girl who I know so little about that I don't even know her name.
Scummy Steps to Success:

1) Post her noodz on teh interwebs. I can help with this if needed.
2) Let her catch you doing a shit in the shower. Justify it by "it was too far to go to the can". Then do a piss while she's yelling at you.
3) Leave your browser open on a particularly disgusting Craigslist ad. Preferably one where a guy is asking for another guy to let him fuck his shit-filled arse. Again, I can help with this if needed...
4) While she's asleep, stick a dildo up her arse and leave it there. In the morning, deny EVERYTHING. This will lead her to believe that either you're a sick fuck who arserapes her in her sleep and she leaves, or she's a sick fuck who needs more anal. Either way, you win.
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:20 AM   #40879 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:21 AM   #40880 (permalink)
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