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Old 02-27-2010, 06:45 PM   #101 (permalink)
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Granted, but now, all flights worldwide have been shut down, due to an uncontained viral epidemic. Also, you die.

I wish I had enough money that I could enable my mum to retire.
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Old 02-27-2010, 06:52 PM   #102 (permalink)
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Granted, but now, all flights worldwide have been shut down, due to an uncontained viral epidemic. Also, you die.

I wish I had enough money that I could enable my mum to retire.
but now your broke and she now deciedes " with all my spare time, i 'll work the door at walmart", and you have to bum money off her.

i wish jesus wore pants.
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Old 02-27-2010, 10:16 PM   #103 (permalink)
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Granted but his pants are Super fugly like Norwegian Ski Team pants.

I wish each day could be one hour longer.
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Old 02-27-2010, 10:40 PM   #104 (permalink)
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It is, but it's the hour that gets added on to your work day, and your boss hates you.

I wish I understood statistics and didn't have to take the F this term and repeat it next term.
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Old 02-28-2010, 12:29 AM   #105 (permalink)
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You're a statistics whiz and were awarded an A in the course, however you got expelled from the school for smoking dope.


I wish I didn't have to pay for groceries.
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Old 02-28-2010, 05:54 AM   #106 (permalink)
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granted, you're launched via catapult over her and all her friends while they laugh at you, before hitting a brick wall.



you fall into the freezer at your local supermarket and emerge in a world where groceries pay for you, the broccoli that buys you doesn't keep you in the people crisper and eventually has to throw away your rotting leg before boiling you for dinner.


i wish loose ends didn't bother me so much.
you get over it, but at horrible costs to your psyche and you wind up murdering three strangers and taking your own life by stabbing yourself repeatedly with a butter knife.

i wish i had a new guitar
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Old 02-28-2010, 11:08 AM   #107 (permalink)
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Granted, but your guitar fails to get you laid because it is a "l33t" guitar with lame stickers from geek culture.

I wish I didn't have emotions.
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Old 02-28-2010, 12:32 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Granted, but you are neither happy or grateful for it because you have no emotions.

I wish I had a monkey.
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Old 02-28-2010, 06:50 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Granted, but whilst you're out of the house, the monkey sets a fire and you lose all that you hold dear, and because it's arson caused by your own familiar, insurance doesn't pay.

I wish I had a satisfying sexual partner that couldn't get me preggo, and had no venerial diseases.
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Old 03-01-2010, 01:58 AM   #110 (permalink)
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i wish i hadn't missed the first few hours of the 75 hour marathon.
Granted! You find a wormhole to transfer your consciousness to the past But after going through the wormhole and laughing your way back to the present, you come out to find that while unattended, your brainless body has signed the podshow contract and are now a slave to Adam Curry.


I wish I didn't have to end my date tonight.
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