Cutting family ties.

[Archimedes_Screw]

So I've cut all communication to my mom and dad. It was an incredibly toxic relationship. I'm pretty fucking devastated about it but it's best for my children that they never see them again. I can't thank you enough for this podcast. It has gotten me through some dark shit and continually gets me through each day. I don't remember how I found out about you guys but I'm so glad that I did.

[Archimedes_Screw]

Some background:
My grandpa, the one who molested me as a teen, had to move in with my parents due to dementia. My parents had visited us a couple of times. They live about 8 hours away. We would meet half way to drop off the kids with them for a visit. When my mom asked when we were visiting I told her that I didn't feel comfortable having my kids around grandpa. She then said she wouldn't come visit us anymore nor would she meet half way for a visit. That tore my up.

We didn't talk for a while and then I slowly began communicating with them by text. Out of no where my mom said that she prays everyday for God to bring me back to her. I was fucking livid. I texted back reminding her that she was the one who wasn't going to visit anymore and that I wasn't bringing the kids around grandpa. She then went on a tirade about how we disrespected them on the last visit, 3 years ago, and how I was alienating my brothers. I texted back "Ok then. We're done."

This is the same lady that blamed me for getting my grandpa going when I finally told her why I didn't want to visit him. One summer my mom took the kids to Kansas to visit my grandma. This is the lady that threatened to have my step dad killed and eventually did put a hit on my step grandpa. He was a type 2 diabetic who was blind and bed ridden but somehow had the energy to hold a shotgun up to his face and pull the trigger with his toe. Nobody seemed to care because he was such a shithead. He held me at gunpoint when I was a kid. That was the first of three times I was held at gunpoint. She had my cousin throw the gun into the pond. So naturally I was upset when my mom took the kids to visit grandma without telling me.

I was 5 when my step uncle started to molest me. I went to therapy for a bit but we'd still visit that side of the family. When I was an adult my mom invited my family and I to a thanksgiving dinner with them. I declined and she got upset.

Oh and the second time I was held at gunpoint was when my cousin pulled a 30-30 on me but the dumb sumbitch couldn't figure out the safety lol

Fuck family! I'll make my own and holy shit this was cathartic.

[Archimedes_Screw]

Also I love the shit out of your Instagram! Gorgeous pictures!

[Bucho]

Jebus AS, you got dealt one helluva hand but it sounds to me like you're playing it right.

I'm glad you found KATG too. As we say in NZ, kia kaha brother.

[LoopyLou79]

Originally Posted by Archimedes_Screw

Some background:
My grandpa, the one who molested me as a teen, had to move in with my parents due to dementia. My parents had visited us a couple of times. They live about 8 hours away. We would meet half way to drop off the kids with them for a visit. When my mom asked when we were visiting I told her that I didn't feel comfortable having my kids around grandpa. She then said she wouldn't come visit us anymore nor would she meet half way for a visit. That tore my up.

We didn't talk for a while and then I slowly began communicating with them by text. Out of no where my mom said that she prays everyday for God to bring me back to her. I was fucking livid. I texted back reminding her that she was the one who wasn't going to visit anymore and that I wasn't bringing the kids around grandpa. She then went on a tirade about how we disrespected them on the last visit, 3 years ago, and how I was alienating my brothers. I texted back "Ok then. We're done."

This is the same lady that blamed me for getting my grandpa going when I finally told her why I didn't want to visit him. One summer my mom took the kids to Kansas to visit my grandma. This is the lady that threatened to have my step dad killed and eventually did put a hit on my step grandpa. He was a type 2 diabetic who was blind and bed ridden but somehow had the energy to hold a shotgun up to his face and pull the trigger with his toe. Nobody seemed to care because he was such a shithead. He held me at gunpoint when I was a kid. That was the first of three times I was held at gunpoint. She had my cousin throw the gun into the pond. So naturally I was upset when my mom took the kids to visit grandma without telling me.

I was 5 when my step uncle started to molest me. I went to therapy for a bit but we'd still visit that side of the family. When I was an adult my mom invited my family and I to a thanksgiving dinner with them. I declined and she got upset.

Oh and the second time I was held at gunpoint was when my cousin pulled a 30-30 on my but the dumb sumbitch couldn't figure out the safety lol

Fuck family! I'll make my own and holy shit this was cathartic.

I know someone who was sexually abused as a teenager by someone outside the family, his mum and dad teased and mocked him about the “strange” relationship (unmanly etc) they simple couldn’t face what was going on with their son. Not making excuses and you’ve done the right thing but I wouldn’t be surprised if your mum hasn’t experienced something similar to you but refuses to acknowledge it. Good luck, you always do the best for your kids and fuck the rest of them.

[The Girl]

Your kids are so lucky to have you. You are so mindful of theirs and your safety and love. It’s tough to put these boundaries on anybody let alone the people who are “supposed to love you”. Good on ya! It’s sad to apart but when it beats being together it feels right.

Much love to you. Glad you’re here. Happy we get to be with you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Archimedes_Screw]

This has made my day. Thank you all!

[SpareBen]

Sorry you had to live through that - happy to have you as part of this community!

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by Apia

I like you. Thanks for sharing.

Take the amount that Apia likes you, which is, (not to disparage her German alottment) but you know these Europeans and their portion sizes. They don't even know how to super-size their french fries. IN FRANCE! Of all places!!!

So.

I see Apia's very giving, wonderful amount of 'like' and match that with an American-sized version, (might be slightly more/ possibly better/ who's to say) from me.

Seriously though. Appreciate you sharing. You sound like a great dad and sometimes you have to act like an adult. Even when your parents fail to do so.