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#1 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
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DIS FACKIN HURRICANE
So I'm in austin, and theres a massive hurricane heading our way. Teggggzas, yeah. I got ten gallons of water, a bath full of pubic soapy shit water in case it gets that bad where I have to resort to that. I got 2 (that;s a lie bc I drank half of one already and now I have hiccups) bottles of wine, three beers, lots of food, fully charged shit and a good battery powered lantern.
I'm ready for the storm, brang it!!! |
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#4 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
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If I die from Hurricane Harvey let me say this:
Harvey? Wtf! That's an old ass man name for a powerful category 4 storm. You must be a junior because only weirdos who have some bizarre obsession with keeping their seed alive pass on shitty old man names. I bet you're planning on naming your son Harvey also, you dick. Do you realize the pressure of being Harvey II or Harvey III? Because your poor kid is gonna have to carry on that bullshit with the added stress of disappointing you if he wants to name his son Cody or Jimmy. Or just: Someone please make sure my cats get fed. Oh and my daughter. |
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Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
Check out the recent shows
Click here to get Keith and The Girl free on iTunes.
Click here to get the podcast RSS feed. Click here to watch all the videos on our YouTube channel. |
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#5 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
|
No meat in my house- wait a second.... it just dawned on me you'd have to smoke and grill it outside... in a hurricane? But howz
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#7 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Eating a moonpie
Posts: 611
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Lolz
After the storm is over is can take days for the power to get turned back on. So people will have a BBQ and invite the neighbors so the meat in their freezer doesn't go to complete waste. The weather is usually really clear and beautiful after a hurricane perfect for a cookout. |
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#8 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
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So.... talk.... to my neighbors?!?
Lol they would be so disappointed. "Hey guys! Thought you might like to stop by for some chargrilled carrots and soy dogs! Don't worry, I've got rice cakes too. Call that shit a sammich." |
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#9 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
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Update on the hurricane btw-
Houston=fuckt Coasts=fuckt Austin=Wet leaves n shit flipping around. We're doing alright here so far, but we have a lot of rivers and Austin floods super fast. I'm busily inflating my arm floaties. |
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#10 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Houston
Posts: 2,434
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Shout out to all the Texas peeps to stay dry and safe.
I was supposed to be moving there tomorrow, to Houston... not happening for a few days now. Don't go through moving high water, and watch out for floating balls of fire ants. And the agitated gators. And snakes. |
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