Do you have a shitty job? Ever goof off? Advise me.

[Jeffyeathatone]

I got a raise and promotion a few weeks ago, which is great but it means that I have a few more guys under me now. They all do entry-level work that they can be trained to do in a few weeks, and their jobs can get rather boring. My guys are paid pretty shitty, about twice minimum wage but at the low end of what can be considered a living wage ($11-$12/hr).

Two of my guys fuck off so much that they are doing more harm than good. The job lends itself to fucking off, but you can only get away with it if you put some thought into it. These guys fuck off so badly that it is killing some of my selling ability.

If we fire them or they quit, it means that I have to spend two weeks doing their job, and neglecting mine, while we hunt for replacements, then another two weeks to train the replacement. On the other hand, if I can't get them do put out minimum effort they aren't worth keeping.

If you have a shitty job (or remember having one) let me know how I should get these retards to put out minimal effort. I did their job fifteen years ago and it is easy and fun if you have basic social skills and know when to fuck off and when to get some work done. Am I supposed to go out of my way to teach them how to cheat the system? These are two educated "men", 22 and 23 years old. For fucks sake, even if they can't manage time or make the smallest positive impression on our customers, the least they should do is figure out how to get away with goofing off without creating chaos.

I can't and shouldn't pay them more. They've proven themselves mostly useless. I need to motivate them to be minimally useful. What do I do?

[marina]

When I had a shitty job, I fucked around, but I always pulled my head up when someone commented on it. Or when I was required to report my progress at the end of the day. Or when I had a minimum.

I'm a good employee though. I never fucked off a super-lot. I think that's probably one of the reasons I have such an awesome job now.

[bithead]

Do these guys NEED this job? If so, you have a lot of options and leverage...

Start by making it known that you've noticed their lack of meaningful work product. (DO IT 1-ON-1, in private.) If that doesn't help, tell them again but this time set achievable goals, be it hourly, daily, or weekly. And follow-up on those goals, providing feedback along the way (good and bad). If that doesn't help, ask them why they aren't able to meet the goals and if you don't buy it, set them goals again (probably the same or slightly modified ones) and this time tell them their job is on the line this time.

Essentially, you want to establish authority over them, set realistic targets, give them an opportunity to make good, and when/if they don't, give them 1 more chance to keep their jobs.

I hope this helps.

[Ant-LOX]

I just get my work done early, then I sketch, or paint while listening to podcasts.

[Rhian]

Are they new to the company or new under you?
Congrats BTW.

Is there an evaluation plan in place yet? Do they have job descriptions?

If they are on probation, you can usually get rid without the three letters etc, however if they have been there a while,
go by the book, and if there isn't a good policy, write it. Sucks but more admin comes with the promotion.

They make more than me/hour, they are lucky to have a job.

[thangers]

I only sluff off if I know I can get away with it. I agree with what has been said before about establishing yourself, but I would make the point clear that as long as work got done, you don't mind the employees sluffing off a bit. Not business ethics by the book, but since you've been down in the trenches before, they should get the picture. Good luck.

[brizzlewizzle]

Can you hire new people train them up, then fire these fucktards?

People are either hard workers or slackers. Its pretty easy to turn hard workers into slackers, but virtually impossible to turn slackers into hard workers, and probably not worth the effort.

[hayroob]

The last job I had was an office job where the basic agreement was that if I hit the goals they set I would basically never even see my boss. Well defined goals and the incentive of being left to my own devices motivated me to hammer out a bunch of work at the beginning of the week and then dick around the rest of the time. They got their goals, I got 17.50 to do line drawings and database programming.

[jeffdrafttech]

Originally Posted by Ant-LOX

I just get my work done early, then I sketch, or paint while listening to podcasts.

I originally trained both of them, one three years ago and one six months ago. This is what I told both of them. We give no shits what you do all day once you complete your tasks, just get your work done and no one will say shit. The job takes about 6 hours most days and they get about 8.5. I think I gave them to much rope.

There is a meeting this morning where they will be given a bunch of paper work to track their day, which will eat at least 30 minutes of every day that they could have used to goof off if they hadn't been greedy (and will apply to any unfortunate people in that position in the future). They are going to get a clean slate and official warning of consequences, which could quickly lead to being fired if they don't get their work done. Being the dick sucks, but they brought it on themselves I guess. Before, they were given the tools to do the job, a car, and a log book (which they frequently forge apparently). Now they will spend some of their free time gathering signatures and will be assigned a specific list every day that I will be forced to check thoroughly. Groan face.

[Alexandra]

Originally Posted by jeffdrafttech

I originally trained both of them, one three years ago and one six months ago. This is what I told both of them. We give no shits what you do all day once you complete your tasks, just get your work done and no one will say shit. The job takes about 6 hours most days and they get about 8.5. I think I gave them to much rope.

There is a meeting this morning where they will be given a bunch of paper work to track their day, which will eat at least 30 minutes of every day that they could have used to goof off if they hadn't been greedy (and will apply to any unfortunate people in that position in the future). They are going to get a clean slate and official warning of consequences, which could quickly lead to being fired if they don't get their work done. Being the dick sucks, but they brought it on themselves I guess. Before, they were given the tools to do the job, a car, and a log book (which they frequently forge apparently). Now they will spend some of their free time gathering signatures and will be assigned a specific list every day that I will be forced to check thoroughly. Groan face.

You are in a great position given the economy. Just share with them the ease with which they can be replaced and the new level of shit they will be in without their current position. Start advertising and interviewing to save yourself time when you have to fire one or both of them (the odds are not with you that they will both understand the concept of the 'Come to Jesus Meeting'). Unlike a booming economy, this particular situation allows you the possibility of finding a jem in the coalpile.

Happy hunting.