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Old 10-06-2023, 07:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
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That is very tough. Sorry Apia.

It’s nice that you have medical info. Curious how your friend will use it. Keep us posted. We’re thinking about you (and your bud).


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Old 10-06-2023, 07:50 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I send her a link to an online test about bi polar disorder. I said I will not pressure her further but that she should please do this test, for me?
I dont need to know the results.
But that she should do it.
She said ok. I think this is all what I can do.
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Old 10-26-2023, 01:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I offered her that I would come to her therapy with her one time, if she wants to, to tell the therapist how I see her disorder.
I did it, because my therapist ( sounds fancy) said that bi polar disorder is hard to figure out for a new therapist because the people come when they are depressed and there is no sight of the mania.
The good thing is, the said yes and invited me to a session next week. She told the therapist that people who know her suspect something else than just depression.
I think if she has any chance of getting better, the right diagnosis is key, and up to now she was only treated for depression.
I thought about it.
The pattern is like this:
She finds something new, a new job, a new love, a new city, a new hobby…
And she really goes all in, ignoring all the red flags. She goes in with the attitude “ this new ( love, job, city or hobby) will be the solution to all my problems. It will be a new me, and everything will be good”
At that time she isn’t open to any feedback. She knows everything and whoever has doubts is just a hater! Her energy level is high and she is overall too optimistic about the new thing.
After 3-9 months of course it didn’t solve all the problems, surprise!
Her mood gets worse. She wants a break. This applies of course most to the job and love. She falls into a depression, her sleep pattern gets chaotic and she ends up loosing the job or quitting, or breaking up with the guy. Interesting is, they never leave her. It must be interesting with her.
Now the break out was the suicide attempt.
After that comes a time of recovery. And soon a new cycle starts.
I think if she doesn’t address it, she will die next time.
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Old 11-01-2023, 02:51 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I have updates. Should I write them down here?
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Old 11-03-2023, 09:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I offered her that I would go to therapy with her once to tell my side of the story, because this disease is hard to diagnose. She Ansiedlung me to go with her this week. And I did. The guy seems good, and I said what I wanted to say, I even drew on the flip chart a circle with her starting something new, being euphoric, not seeing red flags and of course falling into depression because the new thing didn’t solve all her problems ( like new love or new job)
Then a breakdown, freeing from the former live and recovery. And it starts again with the circle.
And I said, if needs to work on the manic phases or she will die with her next attempt. She didn’t like that! But that’s what I think.
We will see.
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Old 11-17-2023, 03:02 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Old 11-19-2023, 01:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
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It is a difficult situation and you did incredibly well with her.
In my experience (my mom committed suicide), in the end the final effort to not fall in a self destructive cycle lies on the person.
Whatever we (friends or loved ones) do, might help a lot or not at all, but in a slightly selfish way, it helps us to feel like at least we tried. The work is on the professional now and on your friend. You did great.
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Old 11-19-2023, 11:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Junkenstein View Post
It is a difficult situation and you did incredibly well with her.
In my experience (my mom committed suicide), in the end the final effort to not fall in a self destructive cycle lies on the person.
Whatever we (friends or loved ones) do, might help a lot or not at all, but in a slightly selfish way, it helps us to feel like at least we tried. The work is on the professional now and on your friend. You did great.
Thank you. It's a fine line to get involved but not too much. If we didn't know each other so long this level of involvement would already be a lot.
Absolutely the motivation of at least trying something that drives me.
But there is something more.
The question, what do we own each other when we are in long relationships of any kind.
It's not nothing but also it's not my life, so not everything. So finding the right kind of middle is the hard task.
I'm overall happy with what I did but only after I talked to my therapist. I always had the feeling that I could do more. Now I'm ok with my behavior and understand that's it.
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Old 11-26-2023, 08:33 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'm sorry you went through this, Apia. A friend of mine a couple of years ago was, as Vonnegut put it once "sufficiently sad" and took his own life. He was very sick is whole life and frankly it was a miracle he lasted as long as he did.

Shocking though it was for me, it was definitely something I needed to process for myself, as something "that had happened to me", selfish though it sounds.

It sounds like you're doing well with therapy and are on a good path here.
I hope your friend gets the help they need and receives it willingly. But you have to keep in mind they might not and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.
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Old 11-27-2023, 01:54 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm sorry you went through this, Apia. A friend of mine a couple of years ago was, as Vonnegut put it once "sufficiently sad" and took his own life. He was very sick is whole life and frankly it was a miracle he lasted as long as he did.

Shocking though it was for me, it was definitely something I needed to process for myself, as something "that had happened to me", selfish though it sounds.

It sounds like you're doing well with therapy and are on a good path here.
I hope your friend gets the help they need and receives it willingly. But you have to keep in mind they might not and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.
Thank you. With my Special Brain I see her 95% dying from suicide in the next 5 years. But my brain isn’t reliable. It always makes the worst scenario seem realistic. So I don’t know.
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