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Old 04-12-2010, 10:44 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I wouldn't say I'm *friends* with them, but I am certainly friendly with a few members of my favorite rock n roll band, which shall remain nameless, but if you know me at all,you know who I am talking about. I even done a little work for them.
Anyway, last time they were in town I got to kick it back stage with them, and even got them marijuana. I haven't like such a nerd since Junior High School. I felt horrendously out of place. They shoulda at least offered me a drink.

Oh, and I am sitting here with Suge Knight as I type this.
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Old 04-12-2010, 11:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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The most recent person that comes to mind, and I hope he takes all this int he spirit of which it is intended, is the amazing Myq Kaplan. I first met him and Myka (also amazing) at the 100th show. I was in a room with him trying to come up with a name for his podcast but everyone was high and nothing was really getting done, haha. Then I found out that he was coming near where I lived so I decided to go see him. I Facebooked him and we ended up meeting up well before the show and hung out for a while. Myq was the kind of guy I knew I could really get along with. I all but started stalking him on facebook, just talking about stuff, asking him how his career was. I heard he might have been coming to a KATG Bingo so I talked to him on facebook and asked if he wanted to meet up. I knew I wasn't going to be online so I asked him if he wanted to exchange numbers or something and he declined, and I totally understand that. I wouldn't want that getting out either. But it was then that I knew exactly where I was placed. There were other events like this but I won't delve into them now.

So I just wanted to see if anyone else had similar experiences with celebrities on a level greater than meeting them at a restaurant and getting a signature. And what came of it. And where the lines between friendship, being friendly, and good PR are. And how much of my fascination with people like Myq are truly a connection or just some sort of sick narcissism on my part.
I can't speak for "people like Myq," but I can speak for Myq, as I have a fair amount of insight into his mind.

In this case, your fascination is not any kind of sick narcissism. I like you.
Our facebook communications have been enjoyable, it was fun hanging out at the show near where you lived, and I imagine it would be fun to be in the same place again sometime.

The lines between friendship and friendly can always be blurry.
For most of my friendships, communication happens with greatest frequency over the internet. Certainly there are people I call and people who call me, but in this technological age, facebooking and emailing are where a lot of relating to people take place.
And of course, that's where communications with fans happen as well, so this is a good question.

I would say the thing that keeps me from becoming friends with more of my fans is not a lack of trust but a lack of time.

At this stage of my career, I certainly wouldn't use the word "celebrity" to describe myself, and I can't really imagine that any fan who wants to spend time with me wants to do so just because I'm famous, rather than because they have seen me on a thing or in a thing or at a thing and like my work or the person they perceive me to be (which is probably close to the person I am).

Especially because I meet people all over the country now, so new connections are potentially happening all the time, and I always like to respond to people who email or facebook me or what have you, and if people keep writing back and saying interesting things that I want to keep writing back to, then great, I have a new friendly, let's say.

At this point, I'm fairly capable of responding to the level of fan/friendly communications that I get.
And especially with something like KATG, where it's so interactive and fans and friends mingle with guests and comedians at events and parties, and also where so many of the fans are actually very cool people that a friendship might bloom if one were to meet them in life separate from the show, it's certainly a different brand of celebrity/fandom than seeing the guy who played Kenny Banya on Seinfeld in a Diner 15 years ago and getting your picture taken with him (which I did).
He and I are not friends.
I don't know if he's sad because I was the only person who ever wanted his picture and I missed an opportunity because he was hurting for friends. So maybe he'll see me in a diner someday. Or do you think he listens to this show and reads the forums? Kenny, I'm here.

Getting off topic a little, think I said most of what I wanted to say.
Which is to say, I'm taking applications for new friends. Time to give the ones I have some healthy competition to stay on the team. That's how friendship works for me!

Love,
Regular human Myq

PS My not exchanging phone numbers was actually not a calculated move, per se, but part laziness/forgetfulness that it needed to be done by a certain time, and part realization that I was busy with other activities the afternoon into evening of the bingo event in question.

Next time, maybe that will be different.

(Or if you got an internet phone, then none of this would have been an issue, because emailing would have been as simple as texting.)
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Old 04-12-2010, 12:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
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In this case, your fascination is not any kind of sick narcissism. I like you. Our facebook communications have been enjoyable, it was fun hanging out at the show near where you lived, and I imagine it would be fun to be in the same place again sometime.
I think both of us are very humanistic, although you may not admit it to yourself. And I think that is why we get along so well, we can both appreciate each other as individuals and sort of transcend that celebrity/fan mold. And I know you are working on your career and we all know that a comedian's work is never done (until they are dead, and even then, just put something funny for the epitaph).

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The lines between friendship and friendly can always be blurry. For most of my friendships, communication happens with greatest frequency over the internet. Certainly there are people I call and people who call me, but in this technological age, facebooking and emailing are where a lot of relating to people take place. And of course, that's where communications with fans happen as well, so this is a good question.
I always felt that people don't take e-mail seriously anymore so I rarely even suggest it as a mode of communication. I have no problem communicating through e-mail. Then a response can be long and fun to read and not just be "hey what's up". The only issue then, is lack of instant gratification. This is a world where people get angry at microwaving something for 2 minutes, after all. But with such a busy lifestyle it is harder for both parties to be around at the same time. So maybe e-mail is the way to go!

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I would say the thing that keeps me from becoming friends with more of my fans is not a lack of trust but a lack of time. At this stage of my career, I certainly wouldn't use the word "celebrity" to describe myself, and I can't really imagine that any fan who wants to spend time with me wants to do so just because I'm famous, rather than because they have seen me on a thing or in a thing or at a thing and like my work or the person they perceive me to be (which is probably close to the person I am).
Marc seems to be looking forward to your nerd-rage outbreak on stage. If you are anything like me (albeit smarter, funnier and better looking), that probably won't happen in a public setting. I'm sure you've had your private moments of lamenting. But, back on point, you are a well-rounded, stable, manageable person with a generally upbeat attitude, and I dig that about you.

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At this point, I'm fairly capable of responding to the level of fan/friendly communications that I get. And especially with something like KATG, where it's so interactive and fans and friends mingle with guests and comedians at events and parties, and also where so many of the fans are actually very cool people that a friendship might bloom if one were to meet them in life separate from the show
Yeah the KATG scene has opened up a world I have not before been exposed to. I really enjoy myself at every event. It's always good to go with a buddy of course, because being the new guy can be daunting. But you just have to expose yourself and let it all hang out.
----
The way I go about life is to know that every person has something to offer me, and it is only a factor of being ready for it, and taking it in properly that stops me from gelling with people, or if they aren't ready for what I have to offer them. I can go on and on about my thoughts on Human Interaction (TM). The drawback is that I don't follow a lot of social norms and so have trouble connecting to people who are in a different place culturally or socially.
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Old 04-12-2010, 12:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I think both of us are very humanistic, although you may not admit it to yourself. And I think that is why we get along so well, we can both appreciate each other as individuals and sort of transcend that celebrity/fan mold. And I know you are working on your career and we all know that a comedian's work is never done (until they are dead, and even then, just put something funny for the epitaph).



I always felt that people don't take e-mail seriously anymore so I rarely even suggest it as a mode of communication. I have no problem communicating through e-mail. Then a response can be long and fun to read and not just be "hey what's up". The only issue then, is lack of instant gratification. This is a world where people get angry at microwaving something for 2 minutes, after all. But with such a busy lifestyle it is harder for both parties to be around at the same time. So maybe e-mail is the way to go!



Marc seems to be looking forward to your nerd-rage outbreak on stage. If you are anything like me (albeit smarter, funnier and better looking), that probably won't happen in a public setting. I'm sure you've had your private moments of lamenting. But, back on point, you are a well-rounded, stable, manageable person with a generally upbeat attitude, and I dig that about you.



Yeah the KATG scene has opened up a world I have not before been exposed to. I really enjoy myself at every event. It's always good to go with a buddy of course, because being the new guy can be daunting. But you just have to expose yourself and let it all hang out.
----
The way I go about life is to know that every person has something to offer me, and it is only a factor of being ready for it, and taking it in properly that stops me from gelling with people, or if they aren't ready for what I have to offer them. I can go on and on about my thoughts on Human Interaction (TM). The drawback is that I don't follow a lot of social norms and so have trouble connecting to people who are in a different place culturally or socially.
Just wear a condom guys!
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Old 04-12-2010, 12:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I think both of us are very humanistic, although you may not admit it to yourself. And I think that is why we get along so well, we can both appreciate each other as individuals and sort of transcend that celebrity/fan mold. And I know you are working on your career and we all know that a comedian's work is never done (until they are dead, and even then, just put something funny for the epitaph).
Maybe I'll put that: "Something funny for the epitaph."
That will cover it, hopefully.
Or maybe "Something serious."
One of those, whichever more appropriate.
Maybe "most appropriate epitaph."

I think I agree with you about being humanistic.
Unless it means being racist against humans.
Then I also think I agree with you.

PS Regarding your fan mold, is it contagious?
Will I die from it?
Epitaphed!

Quote:
I always felt that people don't take e-mail seriously anymore so I rarely even suggest it as a mode of communication. I have no problem communicating through e-mail. Then a response can be long and fun to read and not just be "hey what's up". The only issue then, is lack of instant gratification. This is a world where people get angry at microwaving something for 2 minutes, after all. But with such a busy lifestyle it is harder for both parties to be around at the same time. So maybe e-mail is the way to go!
I'm definitely a fan of the sincere email that actually says things as a means of communication and relating to people.
Though apparently we don't even need to go that far, because we can just communicate openly (very) here!
So, what do you think about all the rest of these jerks?
(Oops.)

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Marc seems to be looking forward to your nerd-rage outbreak on stage. If you are anything like me (albeit smarter, funnier and better looking), that probably won't happen in a public setting. I'm sure you've had your private moments of lamenting. But, back on point, you are a well-rounded, stable, manageable person with a generally upbeat attitude, and I dig that about you.
Thanks for digging.
And yes, Marc seemed to want to dig deeper into my interior to find the rage that lurked within.
And honestly, I imagine that I could (if I wanted to) tap into the unhappiness that I experienced during my teenage years, but even more honestly, it's much easier for me to experience the positivity that I feel in juxtaposition to those times, where I'm just thankful that there ARE people that don't make me feel the way I did then, that there ARE ways to be that make me feel good in general.
So while there may be a layer of unhappiness beneath my positive exterior, I think that beneath that layer is a core of more positive interior.
Like an oreo cookie, if the cream was hate, but wasn't that thick or delicious.
Or a better analogy.

Friendly,
Myq
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Old 04-12-2010, 12:55 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Just wear a condom guys!
Myq is taken, we could never be lovers. I'd hate to do that to Myka, unless she's into it, hmmmm

wait what-
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Old 04-12-2010, 01:00 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I'm definitely a fan of the sincere email that actually says things as a means of communication and relating to people.
Though apparently we don't even need to go that far, because we can just communicate openly (very) here!
Done and done, and fair point. We can keep the soul searching to e-mail. I'd hate to gum up this thread with that. It is starting to look like a cry for attention on my part.

To keep on track of this thread, how many non-comedian friends have you made in the last 4 years? vs how many comedian friends? And do you actually consider them real friends or just people to network and spend down-time with? Just curious.
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Old 04-12-2010, 03:19 PM   #18 (permalink)
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To keep on track of this thread, how many non-comedian friends have you made in the last 4 years? vs how many comedian friends? And do you actually consider them real friends or just people to network and spend down-time with? Just curious.
I don't know if I could differentiate between a friend and a person to "spend down-time with."
I don't know if I've said this on the show (so pardon if it's repetitive), but friendship in the comedy world is an interesting animal...
Because as I understand it, friendship for most people would involve seeing people in the evenings, say, when you're not at work. But for comedians, evenings are when work is. So you're hanging out at a bar with people every night, but certainly they're not all necessarily your friends.
So for me, a judgment of friendship in the comedy world requires my desire to see them OUTSIDE of comedy happenings, or the "down-time" you speak of, I imagine.
e.g. There have been some comedian colleagues who I enjoyed spending time with at work, and then started talking outside of comedy and hanging out in non-comedy situations. Or taking advantage of the time we spend together IN comedy situations, because for comedians, a lot of the time that exists IS comedy time. Like, driving to a far-away show, which one could do with someone you like OR someone you don't like as much; so it's possible, I imagine, to be involved in similar situations with some people that you consider friends and others that you don't.
So it is complicated.

Also maybe relevant to your question of "down-time" companionship--I was just working in Madison, and hung out with the feature for a lot of the daytime time, eating meals, walking around, chatting. We didn't know each other before, and I would consider us friendly now, but I don't know how much we'll be communicating unless we're in the same place again. And if you asked me "are we friends," I don't know, I'd probably say "We're friendly," or "He's a good guy," or "it doesn't really matter, who cares about such categorization."

Sorry if that's boring or doesn't matter or is non-responsive to the question you raised.

As for how many friends I made in the past four years, I have no idea.
But I know that PROBABLY lots of them were comedians. And then maybe some friends of comedians who hang out at shows. Or some of them were probably classmates/co-workers/fellow Boston University inhabitants, where I lived and worked up until about two years ago.
So I think pretty much most of my friends came through work (either as a comedian or otherwise) or friends of friends (who were probably acquired through work). And because most of my work in the recent past has been comedy-related, most of my friends have probably been acquired through comedy relations.

I tried to go looking back through emails to find out how many new people I started communicating with, but that's a project I'd probably need an an intern for, and one that I trusted completely to go through my email, so it would have to be a friend as well. A trusted friendly intern.
Maybe a project for another time.
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Old 04-12-2010, 03:21 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I tried to go looking back through emails to find out how many new people I started communicating with, but that's a project I'd probably need an an intern for, and one that I trusted completely to go through my email, so it would have to be a friend as well. A trusted friendly intern.
Maybe a project for another time.
A frientern?!
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Old 04-12-2010, 03:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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A frientern?!
Yes!
Or maybe a confidantern.
At the very least, not an internemy.
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