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Old 01-20-2008, 01:12 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by aubiegirl View Post
Totally agree with you Jorjo, was disgusted when I saw what went on in this thread. At least Deuce apologized.....
He did. He also sent me a very sweet private message apologizing again and I was very thankful for that. He made me realize what a real sweetheart he really is, and not just the guy who "talks big."

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Old 01-20-2008, 01:13 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by rehtaFrey View Post
well it just takes a family member to break your resolve before you too gush like a fire hydrant.
Yeah, that's what did it. I was able to avoid eye contact during the songs, but when I heard her sob and sniff, I just lost it. It was good, though. Sometimes you just need to let things out and that was one of those times for me.
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Old 01-20-2008, 03:08 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Aurora View Post
Yeah, that's what did it. I was able to avoid eye contact during the songs, but when I heard her sob and sniff, I just lost it. It was good, though. Sometimes you just need to let things out and that was one of those times for me.
Aurora - I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. My condolences.

I understand EXACTLY what you mean - my uncle passed a few years back, and I was doing OK with not crying until I saw my cousin start bawling (his daughter) and I lost it.
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Old 01-20-2008, 04:16 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Ok, I'm 19 so I've only been to a hand full of funerals, all family except for one, and the last one I was at, I sang Amazing Grace.

Well, my great grandmother passed away this morning and my grandmother (her daughter) called me just now to ask me if I would sing Amazing Grace for the funeral.

I said yes because... well, I just did. Right now thinking about it, I know I can do it, but I'm afraid once I see everyone there and get in my head, I may not be able to make it. I wasn't very close with my great grandmother except when I was little, so I have no extreme sadness because it was expected and she's no longer sick, so she's better off. (She was 90-something and still smoked in her nursing home.)

Anyways, I guess I am asking for advice. My grandmother has ALWAYS loved hearing me sing. She's been to just about every concert, play, sporting event, anything where I was singing and I feel that I need to do this for her. But, I am not sure I will be able to make it through the song...

What should I do?
This isn't directly related to your question, but I performed some songs at my great-grandfather's funeral when I was 18 I think. I didn't like it. I found it difficult to focus on the funeral and mourning properly while being nervous about playing, and stressed about somebody breaking our instruments, when I need to start getting ready, etc. Looking back I felt like I was there to work more than I was to grieve. It was not a constructive experience. I also set a precedent where every time an extended family member dies I am asked (expected, even) to perform at their funeral. I've taken to refusing every single one. Playing music is a job, especially when you have to wrangle a handful of people to help you out. My first thought when I hear that somebody has died shouldn't be "I need a pianist who learn a new church-type song in 3 days." I don't know if this was advice or me just spilling my guts, but I've stayed clear of things like funerals ever since. I don't need to do all this hard work when I'm already going through something that I need to deal with.
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