How do i kick out my roommate?

[Mikey]

i think it would b fun to have a roommate. but then i read this and i thinkkk noooo

[DWarrior]

I think this might be kinda cool, you can do all these science experiments on her, then if she accidentally dies, it's not your fault. Here is a list I brainstormed, in no particular order:

Dilute your booze with toilet water
Dip her syringes in windex
Put a baggie of Ajax among your stuff
Soak her socks in acid and see if the skin absorption rumors are really true
Firecrackers in her cigarettes (if she smokes)
Mix rat poison into her food
Fuck up the stitching on her clothes
Dangers of mercury poisoning
Mix nail polish into her body wash/shampoo
Mix a drop of windex into her contact lens solution
Replace her eyedrops with crazy glue shortly before she uses it
Wait until batteries leak, then smudge some residue on the earpiece of her cellphone
Mix glass shards into her food
If you have a coffee grinder, grind some glass into find specs and blow it on her bed and/or clothes (undies drawer for awesomeness), make sure it's super fine though so she can't easily notice it and there aren't any slivers.

[jesikat]

Originally Posted by DWarrior

I think this might be kinda cool, you can do all these science experiments on her, then if she accidentally dies, it's not your fault. Here is a list I brainstormed, in no particular order:

Dilute your booze with toilet water
Dip her syringes in windex
Put a baggie of Ajax among your stuff
Soak her socks in acid and see if the skin absorption rumors are really true
Firecrackers in her cigarettes (if she smokes)
Mix rat poison into her food
Fuck up the stitching on her clothes
Dangers of mercury poisoning
Mix nail polish into her body wash/shampoo
Mix a drop of windex into her contact lens solution
Replace her eyedrops with crazy glue shortly before she uses it
Wait until batteries leak, then smudge some residue on the earpiece of her cellphone
Mix glass shards into her food
If you have a coffee grinder, grind some glass into find specs and blow it on her bed and/or clothes (undies drawer for awesomeness), make sure it's super fine though so she can't easily notice it and there aren't any slivers.

hmm... i think if i were to do so, i'd liable somehow for a couple of these..

nice suggestions though



edit: i have wanted to piss in beer bottles and re-cap them, but she's sneaky to the point where she wouldn't take the last of something, so i don't know how to get her to steal the piss-bottle....

[Sample]

That's sick, DWarrior.

I've got a crazy roomate like that but it's in the campus dorms and sadly no drugs (that she doesn't get prescribed by some crackpot doctor). You said you talked to your landlord but didn't mention the drugs-- that was a mistake. You should mention the drugs.


That photo is good! You should take it to a police station and ask them what they think it is and then give them a brief version of your story. They might be interested.

[jesikat]

Originally Posted by Sample

That's sick, DWarrior.

I've got a crazy roomate like that but it's in the campus dorms and sadly no drugs (that she doesn't get prescribed by some crackpot doctor). You said you talked to your landlord but didn't mention the drugs-- that was a mistake. You should mention the drugs.


That photo is good! You should take it to a police station and ask them what they think it is and then give them a brief version of your story. They might be interested.

now that i am completely sure the diabetes story is a bullshit lie, i will bring it up to the landlord.

p.s. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccckkk YOoooouuuuuuuuuuu and welcome to the forums!

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by jesikat

hmm... i think if i were to do so, i'd liable somehow for a couple of these..

nice suggestions though



edit: i have wanted to piss in beer bottles and re-cap them, but she's sneaky to the point where she wouldn't take the last of something, so i don't know how to get her to steal the piss-bottle....

You can put two beer bottles horizontally on one of the fridge shelves. Put the normal one against the back wall, then put the piss one in front of it. That way there's no reason for her to grab the back one.

If you do something like a 6-pack carton with one bottle in front row and one bottle in back row, then it depends on how clever she is. She might just go for the front beer, or she might go for the back beer to make it look less like she took one.

Don't forget to make a tiny mark somewhere (a tiny sharpie dot on the surgeon warning should do the trick), so you don't end up with the piss one.

PS, when I said rat poison and glass shards, I didn't mean large doses, just enough to produce some effects. Whatever the rat dosage, just put 1/3 of that or something, and for glass shards, just put a few to maybe get an ulcer or two going.

[picard102]

Originally Posted by jesikat

The landlord said when we signed the lease that the primary status doesn't really mean anything other than that person is responsible first if rent doesn't get paid...

Dont pay rent?

[picard102]

Originally Posted by jesikat

yeah......
sorry aboot that.

The whinny chick that complained about my car seats?

Originally Posted by jesikat

you tell me if this is a sterile place to keep your needles:

Bent spoons are an important part of treating diabetes. If you have to melt your insulin that is.

[spooky]

why were you going through her room again?

you have proof of the allegations of theft?

youre trying to get her kicked out of her own apartment so you and your BF can have it to yourself?

you didnt tell the landlord or cops any nonsense you cant prove yet, but it sounds like you are thinking about it...

and shes always paid the rent?

sounds like she has a case, id be careful, jesi

Originally Posted by DWarrior

Isn't it fairly simple to get diabetics to die?

I think you can just keep loading her food with sugar (research this), then if she ends up dead/in the hospital, she was telling the truth, but oh wells. If she doesn't, she's a lying cunt.

if you were my roomie, they wouldnt find your body. and do some research, theres lots of diabetes, and most people dont just fall into a coma and die, they might just fuck up circulation in an appendage and have to get it cut off. i could kill someone while missing a finger, easily.

[Rye]

Originally Posted by spooky

why were you going through her room again?

you have proof of the allegations of theft?

youre trying to get her kicked out of her own apartment so you and your BF can have it to yourself?

you didnt tell the landlord or cops any nonsense you cant prove yet, but it sounds like you are thinking about it...

and shes always paid the rent?

sounds like she has a case, id be careful, jesi



if you were my roomie, they wouldnt find your body. and do some research, theres lots of diabetes, and most people dont just fall into a coma and die, they might just fuck up circulation in an appendage and have to get it cut off. i could kill someone while missing a finger, easily.

you are a douche...do you just spew this shit for the sake of spewing shit?

once again commenting on something you know nothing about.