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Old 09-06-2013, 11:42 AM   #91 (permalink)
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Jesus, jorjo.

"Dean, I need you to know that you can keep drinking, or you can quit drinking because you already know you're a horrible piece of shit and a bad husband and a pathetic father and a gross person worthy of nothing. It's a no brainer! What's the problem, shithead?!

"Also, your writing might suffer now. Let's hope not."

That's some tough love right there. Goodness.
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Old 09-06-2013, 11:49 AM   #92 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jorjo View Post
Its simple really all you need to do is choose between scenarios 1 & 2:

Scenario 1
My not drinking is, undoubtedly, going to attract a number of sideways glances and some pressure to not be such a pussy
I just can't see any other way forward at this point but to stop completely. Which is the worst as I regarded myself as something of a wine snob and more recently, a beer wanker.
And I have a collection of wines that I cannot bear the thought of getting rid of.


Scenario 2
I said some things to my serioso and my kids that are, quite frankly, fucking unacceptable.
Then I become an arsehole.
My family couldn't even look at me this morning and I don't blame them.
I asked my 7 year old tonight if I scared him last night when I was off my face - he went all quiet and just nodded.
I have engaged in a loose pattern of binge drinking that has existed for more than a couple of years, to the point where she has dreaded many a social occasion because of it.
there have been times where I have frightened the fuck out of them with my arsehole behaviour.
...lose everything.

Looks like a no-brainer to me.

Stop making fucking excuses ... I'm weak, what will people think, I don't like groups, but the ... the ... temptation ...

Personally I don't give a fuck about you. All of my sympathy goes to your (apparently long suffering) serioso and kids. How awful for them to have such a frightening, shameful embarrassment for a partner and father.

Stop acting like giving up alcohol is such a big fucking deal. Compared with the alternative you've created for yourself - it's not.
I missed you my dear!
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:19 PM   #93 (permalink)
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jorjo is a cool lady!
Thanks Brian

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Jorjo, Sorry about your mom. I get your point, why be phony If you didn't feel it you just can't say it.
Thanks campy.

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Except when you call us cunts, then we'll slice off that perfect male specimen of a penis and feed it to you asshole. (too far? nah)
oh, Scumhook can call me cunt all night long ...

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Jesus, jorjo.

"Dean, I need you to know that you can keep drinking, or you can quit drinking because you already know you're a horrible piece of shit and a bad husband and a pathetic father and a gross person worthy of nothing. It's a no brainer! What's the problem, shithead?!

"Also, your writing might suffer now. Let's hope not."

That's some tough love right there. Goodness.
hmmm - it looks like you and Scummy attended the same class on "How to quote on the internet". But yeah, it is tough love. He was getting a lot of support and encouragement - which is great, that's was friends are for. But friends are also needed to just call a spade a spade sometimes.

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I missed you my dear!
I've always been here - just a LOT quieter than in the old days I really need to get myself back to NYC for Keith's birthday shenanigans again!

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Originally Posted by Dean from Australia View Post
That battle rages on in alot of people who deal with far worse than what I have described in this thread.
Right Dean - here's some actual advice:

Print the post where you outlined your shitty behaviour. Fold it and put in your wallet. If the temptation to drink starts winning, take the piece of paper out of your wallet before you reach for your cash and read it.

If your friends are hassling you at your birthday tomorrow, or any other time, if they're saying "C'mon Deano - just one" and telling them no isn't shutting them up - take that piece of paper out and let them read it. Forget lying about being on antibiotics or alluding to a recent big night. You need to face this head on and with complete honesty. Anyone encouraging you to drink after reading that post isn't someone you need to be around right now.

As for people dealing with far worse - ask yourself this - Do you want to be one of them? If someone else posted a thread saying they got shit-faced, punched their wife and raped her arse while she was crying and bleeding on the kitchen floor, I'd be giving them hell too. Do you want that thread to be written by you?

This can be your rock bottom right now. You don't need to get worse. You don't need to hit your wife, you certainly don't need to arrive home one day to an empty house and a tear stained note. This is it for you. This is your rock bottom.

I understand that there are likely to be events in your life that have shaped you, perhaps events that make you feel helpless against this - that make it feel like this is who you're destined to be. But you're a man now. You have the power to decide what hold those events continue to have over you. You're an intelligent, capable, responsible man and I know you can make it through this. Speak to your therapist, force yourself to join a group, look for help and accept help everywhere you can.

Thank your good fortune every day that you have a wonderful, supportive serioso and beautiful children.

Oh - and sell the wine collection - you don't need that shit in your home.
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Old 09-06-2013, 11:04 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Dean, you'll think if you don't quit now that one day you'll punch your wife and rape her ass while she's crying and bleeding on the kitchen floor?
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Old 09-06-2013, 11:31 PM   #95 (permalink)
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Dean, you'll think if you don't quit now that one day you'll punch your wife and rape her ass while she's crying and bleeding on the kitchen floor?
ooops ... sorry!! I was sexting and posting on here at the same time
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Old 09-07-2013, 02:58 AM   #96 (permalink)
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Dean, you'll think if you don't quit now that one day you'll punch your wife and rape her ass while she's crying and bleeding on the kitchen floor?
we're supposed to be helping him quit, not providing incentives to keep drinking...
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Old 09-07-2013, 08:36 AM   #97 (permalink)
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My mother was an alcoholic. I say 'was' because she died just shy of three weeks ago. And the hardest thing for me, in the days leading up to her funeral, was admitting to myself that her bitter, angry and mean drunk persona had so tainted our relationship that I was unable, in good conscience, to stand up at her funeral and give a eulogy. Deeply saddened as I was by her death, I simply couldn't speak about what a great mother she was.

I don't care how fucking hard you say it is. You're choosing between drinking yourself into a state of arseholery and the love and respect of your family. Every time you even consider drinking a cool, refreshing glass of beer on a sunny afternoon you need to remember the look on your son's face when you asked if you scared him and the pain in your serioso's eyes when she recounted everything you did and every vile word you spoke to her. Then tell me it's hard.
I've printed this off and have it in my wallet.

Had a long talk with my Dad tonight (we just arrived in my hometown) & laid the whole sorry situation out. We're still talking about it as I write this. He's just gone to take a piss.

The stars are clear tonight.
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Old 09-07-2013, 08:41 AM   #98 (permalink)
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I've printed this off and have it in my wallet.

Had a long talk with my Dad tonight (we just arrived in my hometown) & laid the whole sorry situation out. We're still talking about it as I write this. He's just gone to take a piss.

The stars are clear tonight.
I'm happy to hear you're talking to your Dad.

I had moments when I thought I being too hard on you - but sometimes that's what's needed. Good luck. You can do this.

Last edited by jorjo; 09-07-2013 at 08:46 AM.
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Old 09-08-2013, 08:20 AM   #99 (permalink)
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I've just fallen into bed after a pretty big party.

I did not touch a fucking drop.

It has been one week since my last drink.
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Old 09-08-2013, 08:28 AM   #100 (permalink)
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Amazing!!!!!


proud of you Dean, the first hurdle done and dusted. How's the seriouso feeling about it?
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