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Old 09-11-2013, 02:13 AM   #121 (permalink)
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oh, dean. this makes my heart sad. truly, truly what an awful thing that happened to you. a good caregiver is a hero and to have the air taken out of your love for that is a real loss.
You're very sweet to say that Sparrow.

I should've added that I was put through an investigative process a short time after that assault by my hospital, because of the profile I'd established for myself as an author. They took exception to a couple of things I said in a couple of interviews I did and they tried to assert that I'd breached confidentiality - which was total bullshit. A couple of HR people got themselves a massive hard on and smelt blood. Fortunately, they were sat on their arses once the lawyers became involved.

It was a six month shit show, on top of the assault and it very nearly broke me in two. I became racked by anxiety and panic attacks, was popping pills like a mother fucker and I was depressed enough that I was routinely curling up in a ball and crying like a baby.

Did it exacerbate my drinking issues. You're fucking right it did but, again, I was totally unconscious to it at the time. Those behaviours carried through until the here and now and I can totally see how it did.

Nursing as I do pays the bills and pays them well, but I have no real passion for the job. Writing on the other hand is something else entirely.
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Old 09-11-2013, 02:49 PM   #122 (permalink)
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Hey Dean, I was thinking about what you wrote, (that Keith had read on the air) and it almost sounds like perhaps if you were simply left alone to enjoy yourself at the pub - all this could have been avoided?

I ask this because maybe you need to like, schedule some 'me time/ alone time' in the week or month? Maybe you just need some time with the lads? A break from: work, children, and the Seriouso?

It kind of sounds like you feel trapped..?
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Old 09-11-2013, 05:11 PM   #123 (permalink)
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Whoa! He read what on air?? I'm still on 1843...
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:48 AM   #124 (permalink)
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Dean, now you are on record....it's official.



I remember when your attack at work happened, there's a thread on here about that. it was such a horrible, brutal and unexpected attack. At the time you were struggling coming to terms with it. Do you feel you had alcohol problems before the attack? I clearly remember you fearing your visceral response to the night, you couldn't control your depression and fears.

Methinks (one word thanks Sparrow) we may have one root cause here. did you say if you had seen someone about the attack.
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Old 09-12-2013, 01:47 PM   #125 (permalink)
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If I am honest, I did have an issue with alcohol before I was assaulted and that goes back to when my marriage broke down. I did not cope with that well at all and I did hit the bottle pretty hard.

To be clear, alcohol was not a factor in that event.

When I met my serioso, I had toned down my consumption significantly although there was the odd occasion where I would indulge - those were rare.

When the assault happened, I pretty comprehensively unraveled and I gravitated towards alcohol and pills in order to get through some really dark times. Yes, I did have a therapist who I was working with and yes, it did help but I was blind to the fact that I was hitting it harder and harder than I had before. My serioso couldn't tell me because I wouldn't listen to her. I wasn't prepared to acknowledge it as an issue.

Piff made a good point about the need to "blow off steam" now and then and he's right in that I don't do that nearly as much as I should. But it's one thing to blow off steam and another to get royally shit faced while doing it.
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:23 PM   #126 (permalink)
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But it's one thing to blow off steam and another to get royally shit faced while doing it.
Alcohol, like any other drug, is literally a form of poison we choose to put in our bodies. Whether it's alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, "legal" narcotics, psilocybin (shrooms), THC (lol something like tetrahrydrocannonball, I forget), and so on, everything affects our bodies.

I've been lurking in this thread and I have to admit, I respect you for recognizing the problem and having the strength and awareness to do something about it.

I still think you're a goof but props on doing something that has improved your life.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:23 AM   #127 (permalink)
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You should lift bro. Noone will start shit.

And you can drink tons without getting wasted.
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Old 09-14-2013, 03:33 AM   #128 (permalink)
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You should lift bro. Noone will start shit.

And you can drink tons without getting wasted.
Fucking this ^^^^^^^^^^

about time someone sacked up and gave Deano some useful fucking advise.


just watch out for people shooting arrows at your knees...
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Old 09-17-2013, 12:11 PM   #129 (permalink)
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It's been 17 days since my last drink.
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Old 09-17-2013, 08:53 PM   #130 (permalink)
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It's been 17 days since my last drink.
Proud of you brother. That's fucking AWESOME.
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