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Old 08-01-2010, 10:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Intervention advice/experience needed

My sister and I are planning to do an intervention with our Father.

He is 55 Years old, married/divorced once over 20 years ago, has no job and lives with his Mom.

Just today, it was brought to my attention that he has been emotionally abusing my Grandma/his Mom, then physically assaulted his brother and has been MIA all day long.

I suspect he has deep psychological issues that have just recently fast tracked him onto a very destructive path.

My Sister and I are the only people he has left in his life that he has not fragmented into some imaginary antagonist i.e. his Mom, brothers, sisters, and friends.

We are literally the only thing he has left to live for.

I'm going to speak with a therapist tomorrow on what I should do. I'm hoping to have an appointment scheduled for him this week. Currently the plan is for my Sister and I to present an ultimatum. Get professional help now, or else we will no longer participate in your life.

This sounds harsh, but he is extremely stubborn and these problems have escalated far beyond the abilities of caring loving family members, of which he has had plenty.

This is a really bad situation, and I have never dealt with anything this dark and scary from a person I care deeply about.

Not looking for the magic answer, just curious if anyone else has any stories or knowledge on a situation similar to this.

Thank you.
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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No experience with intervention, though I've dealt with several problematic family members. I just wanted to say, I believe you are doing the right thing. And while presenting someone with such an ultimatum can seem difficult and harsh and you may at times want to give in because of some guilty feeling, just remember that you're doing it BECAUSE you love him, and BECAUSE he needs your help and this could possibly be the only way to get through to him.

Most of my experience is with alcoholic family members (it runs strongly and terribly in my mother's side of the family).

I really hope things end up well for you and your family. You have my e-support.
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DudeEMETIB View Post

I really hope things end up well for you and your family. You have my e-support.
Thank you!

I got a day of therapy shopping ahead of me and I feel hopeful that this can work out. I have been speaking to family members and they have all given me their support as well as their promise to step aside and let me try my intervention without their interference.

Is it better to see a therapist first or a psychiatrist?
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I think it depends on the credentials and experience of the "therapist" and the psychiatrist really. You'll want someone who can best diagnose your father's problem and perhaps has the most experience with interventions or family counseling.

I'm sure you know, cause you don't seem like a fool, but there are a lot of "therapists" out there who aren't therapists.
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DudeEMETIB View Post

I'm sure you know, cause you don't seem like a fool, but there are a lot of "therapists" out there who aren't therapists.
Yeah, im collecting a list of legitimate ones and will call them all one by one tomorrow and see which one I get a good vibe from.

I already found one therapist who had these Google reviews about her:


My boyfriend went to see Dr.Hong twice the first appointment lasted 1hr. During that hour he was given medication and was mis-diagnosed. The second time he went to see her she took a whole 15minutes with him and sent him out with a prescription. I really wished I had read these reviews before he went to see her.‎
maps.google.com

Dr hong is by far the worst doctor ever. She didn't listen to me at all. If i said a medicine wasn't working, she would be like oh have you tried this? what about that? Just throwing medicines out there. She didn't say why they would help ...‎

She was always late for her appointments. She is a bit spacey. When I was at her office I was crying a lot. She would say why are you crying? I would tell her that my husband just died. She thinks it is wrong to cry. Don't waste your time ...‎
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