Mothers, Be Honest

[marina]

The KATG clan is usually very open and honest about everything, so I figured that this would be a good place to settle a question that's been on my mind.

It seems like all I ever hear about child birth is that it's the most amazing miracle ever, except for the episiotomy, and the increase in dental problems due to bone loss, also possible urinary incontinence and loss of sexual desire or enjoyment for the rest of your life.

Women who have had children, what's up? Obviously your child is a miracle, etc. but what physical effects have you experienced post-children?

[Cretaceous Bob]

Don't do it.

[DWarrior]

I though by "physical issues" you meant kid's physical deformities. That made the thread title a lot more lolworthy for me.

I just wanted to vote.

[BrianAlt]

I sent your question to my wife and had her answer. She said, no real difference.

However, I can say there has been weight gain and some loss of sexual desire. The latter is not only physical. Women tend to have something else on their mind, care of the child, making sex more difficult and less frequent.

Overall she's very healthy. Kids were at 29 and 32 if you're interested.

P.S. I think she should have said 'not great'.

[campy]

Oh Marina....you knew i'd have something to say HAHAHAAH

First TMI warning for those who are queasy about lady stuff

Pregnancy is totally different for everybody. I personally had two miscarriages before my son that were unbelievably horrible experiences mentally and physically. No one told me about miscarriage and the reality is that it is a taboo subject in the world of trying to conceive. 1/4 of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and that's a whole lot...I wish i was better prepared for that.

The pregnancy was tainted by that experience. I was a nervous wreck for the first 3 months worrying about miscarrying. Then for the rest of the pregnancy I worried that i'd lose the baby and have to birth a stillborn. That being said once I started to feel the baby move it was the world's most exciting, most amazing experience that I miss greatly. It was pure and utter joy. He use to get the hiccups and i'd feel them, it was so cool.

I had an uneventful pregnancy, no high blood pressure, no serious side effects. I was just a healthy happy pregnant lady.

Delivery was kind of text book until the very end. I would say labour for me was a very familiar feeling, it started off like mild abdominal cramping and then ramped up over a 2 day period. For some women (like me) dilation makes you vomit...badly...be fore warned. Then the baby's heart beat disappeared and the shit hit the fan big time. He was in distress for close to an hour and was born unresponsive. They had to preform an emergency c section ....I had been hemorraging inside....not pretty. But all that was fine in the end. The c-section was a breeze to heal from.

After the baby got here I really sunk beneath the waves. I couldn't breast feed because my milk never came in. The baby was collicky and an unsettled sleeper so he was up ever 2-3 hours for 6 months. I sank into post partum depression due to sleep deprivation. I had gained 40 pounds during pregnancy so I was feeling fat and lethargic. Baby blues are a side effect every woman feels. It is like taking the wind out of your sails. You will cry after your baby is born every day for 2 weeks...it's normal. I went beyond that but ended up anxious and worried all the time. I had to go on anti anxiety meds for about 2 months to regulate and stabilize myself. Within 2 months I was fine.

All this and I had 1 full year of maternity leave. In the states it is a dismal 6 weeks.

A child means a complete change in your lifestyle and for me that was very difficult to accept. You have to see the big picture and know that at the beginning you will have no alone time, no down time and no spare time. Don't under estimate how life changing this is. I am still struggling with that daily. It gets better but not for a long long time.

I wish someone had really carefully explained that to me instead of sugar coating motherhood to seem like something every woman must experience at least once in her life. I don't regret anything other then trying to hard to breast feed and draining my resources at the beginning. I love my son, he makes me proud, he makes me laugh, he gives me focus in a life that had become very self absorbed. I am lucky to have him and I know that. Would I recommend it to everybody...hell no. If you are the maternal type and have sewn your wild oats...if you are mature and responsible then you will be ready to give up your own life for a few years while you carefully raise another.

PS: don't go nuts and gain 40 pounds...that's a disaster. Try to stick to 30 tops, walk everyday and do your best to get the extra weight off after the baby is born. I lost 20 pounds of baby + after he was born but I still had 20 to go and it took me a lot of hard work to lose that.

EDIT: I bled for 2 months after the baby and they recommend no sex until the bleeding stops.

The sex drive dwindled somewhat after mainly because of lack of energy or time. We are working on that.

[Cretaceous Bob]

Originally Posted by campy

I bled for 2 months after the baby and they recommend no sex until the bleeding stops.

Ew.

[punk'n]

Campy, your whole post sounds frightening and terrible. Thank you for reiterating into my brain that this selfish, careless, crazy person should not reproduce.

[campy]

Originally Posted by Cretaceous Bob

Ew.

I second this...serious EWWWWWWW

Punkn, my public service duty is done for today

[marina]

Originally Posted by campy

Oh Marina....you knew i'd have something to say HAHAHAAH

And I knew you'd come through for me.


For the record, I'm still planning to never ever have children of my own. I got into a discussion with two other childless people about the negative aspects of childbirth and quickly realized that every one of us were talking out our assholes. So I went to get some info from some more experienced people.

[DudeEMETIB]

Once again I am glad I was born with a penis.

Thanks Campy for both making my face go and sharing some truths about this baby having thing you women do.

It makes me wonder why people with 5+ babies ever go through with it THAT many times.