My Neighbors are Cunts... and I Wish Terrible Things on Them!

[Dirty Dan]

Hi KATGers,
I recently move and now I live by two very "cunty" people whom have called the cops on me multiple times for very dumb reasons ie. my dogs bark (but are outside no more then an hour a day) for parking on the side of MY house in the rocks, playing music as I wash my car or do yard work, and very minor parties (which aren't excessively loud...). Now first I can understand that my parties can get out of control at times but I'm sure to keep it balanced and get them back into control as soon as I can. I would gladly turn it down a few notches when asked, but they can't bare the 15 foot walk to my door.

So what I'm saying is I'm fed up with their bullshit and would like some help/advice on how to legally annoy/mess with their heads. I have a few.

The first one I want to do for sure but need help.

1. Mail them a letter coming from a clinic with my (fake) test results stating that I am HIV positive. ( I need help on getting the form to look professional)... then knowing that they received my mail and read it go over to their house with a bloody finger or something and ask for a bandaid...

2. When they are out doing yard work or washing their cars have a friend park up to my house and exchange a bag of sugar or oregano for cash in front of them then I would walk back inside eyeballing them..... or I can order from him a seemingly large amount of pharmaceutical drugs as if I were to make my own drugs at home.

3. I'm Indian (the dot kind) I can play hindi prayers very loudly while in ear shot to them praise Allah while putting on a vest and backpack.... even though I don't claim a religion, but supposed to be Christian according to my father.... but I digress.

I don't know but if you can help it would be very much appreciated.

THANKS!

[DWarrior]

I don't know, I might personally just call the cops on a loud party as well. It avoids the confrontation and a phone's closer than the neighbor's door.

I also don't care for people who host parties. Unless I'm attending one, there's no reason why it should audibly interfere with my day.

As for your plans:
1. incredibly contrived, and even if they do read your mail and all that, they might just slam the door in your face after all that work. Or just never answer to begin with.

2 and 3 will certainly backfire, especially since they're police-happy.

[Nitara]

Have you tried talking to them about it? Perhaps you could give them your phone number. That way they can call and ask you to turn the music down, rather than call the cops.

[Sparrow]

You start up with the asshole retalitary actions and you will burn that bridge. Swallow your pride and go talk to them. Be calm. Non-accusatory. A regular human being. Don't go in guns blazing. They already think YOU'RE the problem, don't prove 'em right.

Jesus, people are so quick be mean to each other.

[Ansur]

You sound like an asshole and I bet your parties are more annoying than you know. Your revenge plans are so weak and lame that I now see you as weak and lame. Search for our thread on best way to fuck with someone.

[EastTexas]

Yeah, I'm kind of on your neighbors side. I'm not one to call the cops, I'd just silently hate you and wish you were dead. I admire your neighbors balls though.

-Barking dogs are annoying. I've had neighbors whose dogs barked constantly while they were gone. Or if I was in my yard working the stupid dog would bark at me the whole time. An hour working in my garden = an hour of barking.

-Parking on the side of the house in the rocks. In a lot of cities this is illegal to park on non-paved areas. My mother has recieved tickets for parking on a non-paved area at her house twice. Cops just driving by and noticing it.

-Playing music while you work outside. My current neighbor works on cars at home. He is constantly playing music loudly outside. While it probably doesn't sound loud to him, everything I'm doing inside my house has that soundtrack. I can't even enjoy watching a tv show in my living room because of it. Or take a nap, or quietly read.

-Loud parties. How often are you doing it? As a neighbor I'm fine with things every few weeks. Do I have to listen to your loud parties interrupting my life every fucking weekend? Again, I've had a few neighbors like that. The worst of them was an area with a large Mexican population, Mexican music is terrible.

It sounds like your neighbors like to relax when they are home and do things they enjoy. But, some asshole next door keeps interrupting everything they do inside their home with noise from his.

-At least you don't do something like my worst neighbor. In some nice apartments I had a drug dealer across from me. A couple times a week someone would confuse the apartments and I'd have someone knocking on my door at 3am. Always fun having some creepy drug addict banging on your door in the middle of the night.

Originally Posted by Dirty Dan

Hi KATGers,
I recently move and now I live by two very "cunty" people whom have called the cops on me multiple times for very dumb reasons ie. my dogs bark (but are outside no more then an hour a day) for parking on the side of MY house in the rocks, playing music as I wash my car or do yard work, and very minor parties (which aren't excessively loud...). Now first I can understand that my parties can get out of control at times but I'm sure to keep it balanced and get them back into control as soon as I can. I would gladly turn it down a few notches when asked, but they can't bare the 15 foot walk to my door.

[Dirty Dan]

OK, I can admit that I was heated when I started this thread, but I'm not the asshole is this situation. I'm a college student and work 53 hours a week at my job. I'm not home a lot but when I am I would also like to enjoy myself without restrictions.

First, when I first moved in I took the time to introduce myself and my roommates to all of my neighbors.... all we welcoming, except these two.

I've acknowledged them in passing with friendly smile and wave, with no response.

I've talked to my other neighbors about them and they said there is no getting through with them. They've tried and fail. They've called the cops on the neighbors across from me because they had a superbowl party that went past 10:00pm, and on their grandkids for being "too" loud at the pool. This couple is 50+ years old.

I don't hold parties at my house often, I rather not have the responsibility of cleaning, but when I do they aren't keggers and mostly will not exceed more than 10 people.

My dogs only bark when they are excited by the door... other than that very well behaved.

Honestly, I've thought of things I could do to get them back. I'm not one for confrontation so I haven't. I will try to talk to them and hand over a list of contact numbers they could reach me at, but I don't think it will help much.

I also started to this tread because I thought it would be interesting to see what kind of ideas would come about...

Ultimately, I will not start anything with them I just won't associate with them. I've tried and have gotten no where. I'll just stick with the nicer of the neighbors.

Thanks Nitara and I think Sparrow?


Under "Keith's Law" I think wasting the polices' time falls under death... but if that were in affect I would have died 923487 times over

[DWarrior]

meh. I say fuck you.

[Dirty Dan]

Noted, but why?

[Nitara]

I have neighbors just like the ones you've described. Even so, getting them back won't change them. They'll still be assholes. Unfortunately, you'll just have to deal with it. It sucks, but there's really no way around it.