My wife just left me, please help

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Quite possibly the greatest advice concerning a broken-hearted man, ever. Sounds like reality hasn't hit your heart yet - probably cuz your not allowing it to. This bitch is OTD aka Out The Door. Your only fucking yourself up by not embracing what this means.

Haha. Yeah, even in tough times, our sex life was still frequent and adventurous. It's been a little over a week now since we last fucked, which is a long time for me. I may be depressed, but my sex drive is still off the charts. I used to be pretty good at picking up women, but its been ages since I've been in the bar scene...it's not really my thing anymore. I have a feeling that I'm going to be in for a bit of a dry spell. Can we have another KATG Hottest Girl contest again soon to help...inspire me?

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Adamus

Good points. Thanks, Sparrow. From what I recall, you had a rough time with your ex. Hope you're doing good now. I wish I had your confidence and...boobs...yeah, I like boobs

i actually had a lovely divorce. his marrying my soul twin was, because i know him, something i could've expected and made the two of us quite square. we weren't out for blood and left each other as set up for future success as we could do for the other. we separated the physical assets by need; i feel as though we were both generous and mindful. the two weeks following his filing were spent in several deep and mostly open conversations about out situation barefoot on our front porch my feet propped up in his lap. cards were laid bare and honest questions were answered honestly; mostly. turns out we were just two different people with vastly different needs that weren't and couldn't be met by the other. all other things sprung from that one.

divorce is something else you do together. it can be a drawn out battle royale to be raked over or it can be the springboard to a next thing. the shit that happens to us, happens. reacting is a choice. we get to do that in any goddamn fashion we please.

the rough time i had, however, was between me and a red headed woman. that's another story.

[Rufio]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

i actually had a lovely divorce. his marrying my soul twin was, because i know him, something i could've expected and made the two of us quite square. we weren't out for blood and left each other as set up for future success as we could do for the other. we separated the physical assets by need; i feel as though we were both generous and mindful. the two weeks following his filing were spent in several deep and mostly open conversations about out situation barefoot on our front porch my feet propped up in his lap. cards were laid bare and honest questions were answered honestly; mostly. turns out we were just two different people with vastly different needs that weren't and couldn't be met by the other. all other things sprung from that one.

divorce is something else you do together. it can be a drawn out battle royale to be raked over or it can be the springboard to a next thing. the shit that happens to us, happens. reacting is a choice. we get to do that in any goddamn fashion we please.

the rough time i had, however, was between me and a red headed woman. that's another story.

Have you confronted your John Petrie yet?

[Sparrow]

no. not particularly interested in doing so.

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

i actually had a lovely divorce. his marrying my soul twin was, because i know him, something i could've expected and made the two of us quite square. we weren't out for blood and left each other as set up for future success as we could do for the other. we separated the physical assets by need; i feel as though we were both generous and mindful. the two weeks following his filing were spent in several deep and mostly open conversations about out situation barefoot on our front porch my feet propped up in his lap. cards were laid bare and honest questions were answered honestly; mostly. turns out we were just two different people with vastly different needs that weren't and couldn't be met by the other. all other things sprung from that one.

divorce is something else you do together. it can be a drawn out battle royale to be raked over or it can be the springboard to a next thing. the shit that happens to us, happens. reacting is a choice. we get to do that in any goddamn fashion we please.

the rough time i had, however, was between me and a red headed woman. that's another story.

Thanks for sharing, Sparrow. I'm glad that you were able to end things like that. I really hope that the same can happen for us. I'm friends with several of my exes, but I've never ended a marriage before, let alone had to deal with splitting so many assets. It's a bit scary. I still love her and want her to be happy. I'm just sad that I'm not the one for her. I'm going to try my best to make this go smoothly. I hope she does the same.

[Sparrow]

if i could do something different, it would have been proper legal representation; not because i was afraid of him, but because it was an unfamiliar legal process and those things navigate better with professionals.

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

if i could do something different, it would have been proper legal representation; not because i was afraid of him, but because it was an unfamiliar legal process and those things navigate better with professionals.

Yeah. It's so early, we haven't rotten to the point about discissing division of assets yet. It's hundreds of thousands and I have no idea how it's going to go. Quite scary. I know that here in Canada, we have to be separated for 12 months before we can get divorced. I know that I have to get a lawyer at some point, but I hate lawyers. Thank fuck there are no children involved. This is so hard as it is, I can't imagine what it's like for divorces with children. We just have to deal with money and our dog.

[Dean from Australia]

Originally Posted by Adamus

Yeah. It's so early, we haven't rotten to the point about discissing division of assets yet. It's hundreds of thousands and I have no idea how it's going to go. Quite scary. I know that here in Canada, we have to be separated for 12 months before we can get divorced. I know that I have to get a lawyer at some point, but I hate lawyers. Thank fuck there are no children involved. This is so hard as it is, I can't imagine what it's like for divorces with children. We just have to deal with money and our dog.

Try and nut out a 50/50 split in the first instance, without involving lawyers. As I said a few posts back, if you can write up an agreement that you can both sign and have witnessed, you'll both get out of this cleanly and with a little money to start again. Only involve lawyers if things start going shitty.

Put it this way, me and my ex did that very thing, and we both came out of it with 6 figure sums. Money talks Adam. At this point, that is what you want to get - enough to start over.

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Dean from Australia

Try and nut out a 50/50 split in the first instance, without involving lawyers. As I said a few posts back, if you can write up an agreement that you can both sign and have witnessed, you'll both get out of this cleanly and with a little money to start again. Only involve lawyers if things start going shitty.

Put it this way, me and my ex did that very thing, and we both came out of it with 6 figure sums. Money talks Adam. At this point, that is what you want to get - enough to start over.

Good to know. I really hope that works for us. This is already pretty heartbreaking, but it would be so much worse if it turns ugly. I'm not expecting us to be buddies after this, I just don't want us to end up hating one another.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

divorce is something else you do together.

This is an interesting observation! Also, I had this in my twitter feed and feel like it's applicable: 'Never beg people to stay against their will. The gift of goodbye opens another door for you. Move on & create the next chapter of your life."