My wife just left me, please help

[tempfoot]

Originally Posted by Adamus

So, today was a super shitty day. My wife came over and once again brought a friend with her.

That friend is also known as a 'potential witness'. The recording feature on your phone is your friend and protector.

You are getting a lot of good advice in the thread here, and sounds like, hard as this is, that you are actually doing pretty well handling things. As others have pointed out, it really is a strange, disorienting feeling when that switch flips and you have to adjust to the person you (thought you) were closest to becoming a stranger at best, an adversary at worst. Hang in there.

...I won't even hold it against you that you hate lawyers.

[jaffecake]

As someone who has had chronic depression as a teenager and has their parents separating for no obvious reason after over 25 years, i have a vague grasp of what you must be feeling at the moment. For a while after coming home to find my Mom crying uncontrollably and my Dad flying off to Australia, i kept asking myself why. As the great advice you've already been given tells you- DON'T Their not worth a second of your time.

After finding this out another integral part of my life was taken away. I slipped a disc in my back and was out for months, the one thing that made me happy was the thrill of playing sport and feeling that adrenaline rush. For weeks i was in a slump and i blamed myself for everything.

Find something to get you through, i found two things.
I opened up to a friend of mine, only to find out he was dealing with similar problems and he showed me someone on youtube who i found incredibly inspirational. The guy's called Hutch and he does a serious called 'so you're....' and goes through depression with an incredible personal insight.
I was sick of sport but my friend took me to a basketball game, i've never really had an interest in anything but football, and i loved it. I spent the last weeks of my injury preparing myself-watching tutorials and talking to my sports coach and making a training regime. 2 Months later i'm captaining the basketball team at my school ahead of guys in the year above who joked that i would last two weeks.

In a round about way i want to say...find something knew that you love! nothing you and your ex have ever done but whatever your passion is, mine was sport but whatever you enjoy works- look online find groups, events, clubs--> something in a sociable environment and make this your mission to find a group of people with the same interests.

Sorry for the stupid length and i hope this helps

[picard102]

http://www.keithandthegirl.com/forum...toronto-17204/

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by jaffecake

i kept asking myself why. As the great advice you've already been given tells you- DON'T Their not worth a second of your time.

i disagree. not to invalidate your experience as the child of divorce, it's a whole thing, but you weren't inside their marriage. people don't divorce on a whim. 'no obvious reason' to you was because you were a child and their grown up business wasn't your business. straws just don't go breakin' camels backs, bebe.

when a partnership fails, there is value in understanding.

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by jaffecake

As someone who has had chronic depression as a teenager and has their parents separating for no obvious reason after over 25 years, i have a vague grasp of what you must be feeling at the moment. For a while after coming home to find my Mom crying uncontrollably and my Dad flying off to Australia, i kept asking myself why. As the great advice you've already been given tells you- DON'T Their not worth a second of your time.

After finding this out another integral part of my life was taken away. I slipped a disc in my back and was out for months, the one thing that made me happy was the thrill of playing sport and feeling that adrenaline rush. For weeks i was in a slump and i blamed myself for everything.

Find something to get you through, i found two things.
I opened up to a friend of mine, only to find out he was dealing with similar problems and he showed me someone on youtube who i found incredibly inspirational. The guy's called Hutch and he does a serious called 'so you're....' and goes through depression with an incredible personal insight.
I was sick of sport but my friend took me to a basketball game, i've never really had an interest in anything but football, and i loved it. I spent the last weeks of my injury preparing myself-watching tutorials and talking to my sports coach and making a training regime. 2 Months later i'm captaining the basketball team at my school ahead of guys in the year above who joked that i would last two weeks.

In a round about way i want to say...find something knew that you love! nothing you and your ex have ever done but whatever your passion is, mine was sport but whatever you enjoy works- look online find groups, events, clubs--> something in a sociable environment and make this your mission to find a group of people with the same interests.

Sorry for the stupid length and i hope this helps

Thanks for sharing this. That's good advice.

A few years ago a bought a piano with the intention of learning to play, but for whatever reason, I never got around to it. So, the other night, desperate to find something to distract myself, I grabbed my iPad, bought a piano tutorial app, sat down at the piano and started to learn. I doubt it will turn into anything, but at least it's a distraction, I'm learning something new, and it's something I never shared with my wife, so I don't have to battle memories of sharing that with her.

I'm also determined to get back into shape and running. So, I bought a Nike+ Fuelband the other day to help motivate me. It's doing a really good job thus far. Every day is a challenge, but I'm still fighting.

I hear that there might be a meetup in Toronto this Friday. I hope so. I would really love to get out of the house and have some fun with some fun people.

[Adamus]

So, I'm pretty sure that today is going to suck.

Earlier this week, my wife came over to take our dog for walk. When that was done, we ended up having a long, emotional talk. I asked her, for one final time, to reconsider and to at least give ourselves a few weeks to try and see if we can turn things around. She said that she would think about it and let me know on Sunday (today).

Based on a few things that have happened since, I'm very doubtful that I'll be getting good news today. I'm doing my best to brace myself for this, but I'm really scared. If she says no today, than it really is over. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this. Again, I pretty much have no support system here, so I'm going to be really alone...probably not a good thing for a depressed guy who's wife just left him.

I just want her to come here and get this over with. The stress and anticipation is killing me.

On a positive note, I had a wicked time at the Toronto meet up on Friday. It was great to meet everyone who showed up. You're all great people. Special thanks to sex_n_diamonds for the great talk and cheering me up. You're awesome. I hope I get a chance to see you guys again soon.

Arg. I could really use a strong drink right now.

[Sparrow]

settle your nerves, but this is a conversation best had not schnachered. if you need to dump emotional garbage here before it settles in your tissue or causes your chest to explode, g'head. we're around.

head down; face up. you can withstand this.

[Adamus]

She just texted me and now wants to meet a coffee shop instead of coming over here to our house. The certainly answers that. What a fucking coward. This is fucking heartbreaking. There's no way I could handle doing this in public. Who the fuck ends a marriage like that? To be clear, I've never done anything violent to/around her, so I've never given her a reason to be afraid of me.

Fuck, my heart hurts so much right now. I can't believe this is really happening.

[Dean from Australia]

Originally Posted by Adamus

She just texted me and now wants to meet a coffee shop instead of coming over here to our house. The certainly answers that. What a fucking coward. This is fucking heartbreaking. There's no way I could handle doing this in public. Who the fuck ends a marriage like that? To be clear, I've never done anything violent to/around her, so I've never given her a reason to be afraid of me.

Fuck, my heart hurts so much right now. I can't believe this is really happening.

If there's any chance you haven't met up with her yet - Don't meet her at the coffee shop. That is not cool at all!

[Adamus]

I didn't meet her or respond to her text. She just texted me and said that she was coming by the house in 90 minutes. Not sure what I'm even going to say to her. I know it's over. I'm just going to try and be as calm as possible, listen to whatever she has to say and move on. She's already hurt me so much and has taken so much from me, I'm not going to let myself be a victim any more. Fuck. I don't know how she is anymore. This is not the woman I fell in love with.