My wife just left me, please help

[Sparrow]

hi there! first, you're not alone. we've got a lot of us had our hearts squished inbetween unsavory toes. we're here and we're superb listeners. no worries.

if it helps from someone who's made it out to the other side, this kind of stuff is temporary and will pass. ya know, after it sucks a nut for a while. it's gonna suck a nut for a while.

anywho feel free to vent, vomit your feelings, ask questions, seek affirmation, or request a swift kick in the rear.

[əkoostik_rachel]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

hi there! first, you're not alone. we've got a lot of us had our hearts squished inbetween unsavory toes. we're here and we're superb listeners. no worries.

if it helps from someone who's made it out to the other side, this kind of stuff is temporary and will pass. ya know, after it sucks a nut for a while. it's gonna suck a nut for a while.

anywho feel free to vent, vomit your feelings, ask questions, seek affirmation, or request a swift kick in the rear.

Thank you! I keep thinking of things in terms of "the hardest thing about this is..." and then find 20 things to finish the thought. He was my go-to when things were sucky and now I have to figure out how to deal with things. I want to turn off these emotions until I'm a little stronger and can handle it. How do I do that? I'm 29, I've done this before. But it really has never felt like this.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by əkoostik_rachel

I want to turn off these emotions until I'm a little stronger and can handle it. How do I do that?

you don't. you pull up your big girl britches and deal with them. there's no tips or tricks you just get up, get dressed, and do the things that need doing. take a shower. brush your teeth. wash your clothes. pay your bills. it feels like it, but you're not going to break. promise.

don't avoid the hard stuff. it's all going to be hard. life's hard. head's up. the sooner you can be ok with that, the sooner you can manage it. gettin' all freaked out will only keep you freaked out.

breathe. name them. each one. get them physically out of your skin. write 'em down. assess it and then take one at a time. some of that shit ain't even real. my mama always said you can't do everything, but you can do one thing. so keep doing one thing and then another. get out of bed. take a shower. brush your teeth. get dressed.

[Dean from Australia]

This community can be and is a very powerful community - I can attest to that.
It will listen. It will be a hand on your shoulder and it will help you work through whatever you want to work through over time.

In the first instance, just talk, knowing that you can. You will receive a willing ear and a certain amount of tongue in cheek shit talk which is mostly meant to put a smile on your face.

At this early stage try to remember this;

Think about what you do have in your life rather than what you have lost and draw comfort from that.

We are here...

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by əkoostik_rachel

I've isolated myself from the rest of my social crowd as a result of this relationship.

Whenever I hear something like this, I think of people who are: abusive, manipulative, and guilty of what is now being termed 'emotional terrorism.'

No matter how much you love him; no doubt you and your daughter are better without him.

Judging by your photo you are attractive. You're still young and your daughter will be fine without him. Take this opportunity and make a list. Think to yourself 'What do I want from a relationship? What do I like about my Ex and what do I hope to avoid in my next serious relationship?'

As a single parent myself I understand how scary it can be to be single and feel alone. Trust me. Being in an abusive relationship is much worse. Hang in there. You will find your heart and love again. Just stay focused on you and your daughter... (hope something in here helps

[Scumhook]

Hello rach, and welcome.

A couple of little pointers to help you out:
1) Don't double post. This can be quite annoying, and is legally admissable in court as a defence when you beat your gf/wife. Trust me. I've used it.

2) Think about what you did wrong to make your hubby get so upset with you. This will help you be a better partner to the next guy you hook up with.

3) Don't be afraid of letting your kid know that the reason daddy left was due in no small part to her. This will help her grow up to be a fine, appropriately adjusted woman.


I hope these little pointers help you.

All the best, and if you're ever in Oz, get your daughter to hit me up.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Scumhook, if laughter were the best medicine, yours would most certainly be some shitty knock off, generic from China that is utterly useless and has resulted in several Doctors having their licenses revoked.

This being said, let's all give thanks to God, Buddha, and Mohammed that dead kangaroos can't be impregnated...

Cheers.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Lord of the Cock Rings

I've always used booze and drugs but seeing that you have a 10 year old, you should probably listen to Sparrow over me.

meh. i also use drugs. those who can't do, teach. KWIM

#avoider

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Scumhook, if laughter were the best medicine, yours would most certainly be some shitty knock off, generic from China that is utterly useless and has resulted in several Doctors having their licenses revoked.

This being said, let's all give thanks to God, Buddha, and Mohammed that dead kangaroos can't be impregnated...

Cheers.

I am ground up tiger penis.

[lizzy1e]

So sorry to hear, rachel. As Sparrow says, we've had varying degrees of having life punch us in the face and are here for you. It feels horrible right now with a million reasons why it's the worst, but eventually that will start to fade even if it seems impossible at the moment. Allow yourself to feel however you need to and grieve the relationship properly and it will slowly get better. Big hugs.