My wife just left me, please help

[Adamus]

So glad that I called in. Thank you Keith, Chemda and Danny. Seeing Keith wear a Canada shirt on camera made me smile as well.

I'm still feeling like shit. Tonight is going to be rough. I just wish there was someone I could call to come here.

Thanks again for all your kind words and support.

Cheers,
Adam

[Enunciated Piffle]

Adam, the worst thing you can do right now is sit and marinate in depression. It might be wise to make a list of ONE thing to do after work each day of the week. It looks like some people have suggested walking your dog, (which is solid advice) but make sure you have plans that get you out of house each day and active. This is tricky as it's cold as fuck out, but you need to. Make plans to go see a live performance. Music, poetry, a lecture: anything. The worst thing you can do is talk and/ or fuck this heartless bitch again. Move on. Join a gym and use whatever bitterness this has caused towards improving you. The trick of 'fake it till ya make it' is very applicable to this situation. Make you, the best 'you' that you can. A woman who is worth it will follow. Also, don't fall into the trap of going off anti-depressants or drinking too much. MAKE THIS CHANGE WORK FOR YOU! Your a Canadian and a KATG fan, so I have to assume you're amazing. Make it happen! Be positive. Go forward. All the best. ~Jesse

[violachick8]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're in pain like this. I wish I could share some wuss in but I think that everybody else has already done a great job. The only other thing I can offer is a listening ear and a place to do so. Partysuperparty.com usually has some people in there every night and can be a good substitute for irl hang outs if you just want a few giggles and a place to drink some beers.
<3 forevs
Vi

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by violachick8

I'm so sorry to hear that you're in pain like this. I wish I could share some wuss in but I think that everybody else has already done a great job. The only other thing I can offer is a listening ear and a place to do so. Partysuperparty.com usually has some people in there every night and can be a good substitute for irl hang outs if you just want a few giggles and a place to drink some beers.
<3 forevs
Vi

Thanks, VC. I'll check that out. I'm really starting to lose it. Hopefully this will help.

[Sparrow]

Chat is notorious for fixin' folks. A superb late night alternative to despair; or bring your despair--we like to oggle self destruction.

[Dean from Australia]

Hey Adam,

I'm just listening to your call in right now and I'm so sorry to hear about the break up and your depression.

7 year ago, my wife of 7 years announced to me that she didn't love me anymore and wanted to end our 7 year marriage. At the time, I was suffering pretty badly from depression and although I was getting help, my wife didn't want to participate in the therapy sessions. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for the marriage breakdown but it emerged later that there was a third person involved in our marriage. After I accepted the inevitable and sold our house, divided up our property, I set about trying to start again. My wife decided that she'd made a huge mistake and spent the next few months trying to reconcile. It became a huge head fuck that only served to confuse the fuck out of me more.

I'm not suggesting that this is going to happen with you...but it might.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this - if nothing else - get a clear head about your situation and what you want from this. Your welfare has got to take precedence over anything your wife wants or needs right now. And don't allow her to dictate anything about your future, property and most certainly your relationship. This was her call and she will have to deal with the consequences.

Keep talking though Adam. Talk here. Shit mate - PM if you'd like. Don't feel alone.

[Dean from Australia]

Hey Adam,

I'm just listening to your call in right now and I'm so sorry to hear about the break up and your depression.

7 year ago, my wife of 7 years announced to me that she didn't love me anymore and wanted to end our 7 year marriage. At the time, I was suffering pretty badly from depression and although I was getting help, my wife didn't want to participate in the therapy sessions. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for the marriage breakdown but it emerged later that there was a third person involved in our marriage. After I accepted the inevitable and sold our house, divided up our property, I set about trying to start again. My wife decided that she'd made a huge mistake and spent the next few months trying to reconcile. It became a huge head fuck that only served to confuse the fuck out of me more.

I'm not suggesting that this is going to happen with you...but it might.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this - if nothing else - get a clear head about your situation and what you want from this. Your welfare has got to take precedence over anything your wife wants or needs right now. And don't allow her to dictate anything about your future, property and most certainly your relationship. This was her call and she will have to deal with the consequences.

Keep talking though Adam. Talk here. Shit mate - PM if you'd like. Don't feel alone.

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Dean from Australia

Hey Adam,

I'm just listening to your call in right now and I'm so sorry to hear about the break up and your depression.

7 year ago, my wife of 7 years announced to me that she didn't love me anymore and wanted to end our 7 year marriage. At the time, I was suffering pretty badly from depression and although I was getting help, my wife didn't want to participate in the therapy sessions. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for the marriage breakdown but it emerged later that there was a third person involved in our marriage. After I accepted the inevitable and sold our house, divided up our property, I set about trying to start again. My wife decided that she'd made a huge mistake and spent the next few months trying to reconcile. It became a huge head fuck that only served to confuse the fuck out of me more.

I'm not suggesting that this is going to happen with you...but it might.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this - if nothing else - get a clear head about your situation and what you want from this. Your welfare has got to take precedence over anything your wife wants or needs right now. And don't allow her to dictate anything about your future, property and most certainly your relationship. This was her call and she will have to deal with the consequences.

Keep talking though Adam. Talk here. Shit mate - PM if you'd like. Don't feel alone.

Thank you very much for sharing, Dean.

The thing that I find the most heart breaking about this is that she's essentially leaving me because I'm struggling with my depression. Even though I was depressed, I never stopped caring and participating in the things she cared about. I still told her everyday that I loved her. I fucked her every chance I could get. I'd take her on nice vacations, etc etc. But I guess it wasn't enough for her.

She often made jokes about not saying anything about "in sickness and in health" in her wedding vows. I guess it wasn't a joke after all. Perhaps, unlike many other illnesses, depression is less visible and there's no simple cure. What if I had cancer, we should have left me because that was too hard to deal with. This is not the woman I fell in love with and moved half way across the country, away from all of my friends and family to be with.

I just wish I could understand this. I know that things weren't perfect, but I was not prepared for this. I wish that she would have told me that she was thinking this way, and at least give me a chance to make it right. We've been together for nearly 7 years now. I don't understand how we can go from literally talking about starting to try to have a kid in a few months, less than two weeks ago, to her leaving me. She was so cold to me that day. I'm still in shock.

I really don't know what I'm going to do. All of my family and friends are half-way across the country. I work from home. So, aside from my dog, I'm completely alone. My brother was going to get on a plane and fly here today to be with me. But, he's the sole provider of his family (3 young kids and his wife). He just started the job of his dreams and I don't want to fuck up his shit. I know that all he cares about right now is making sure I'm okay, but I'd still feel guilty about it.

Fuck, I'm so scared right now. I have to believe that things will get better, but it's so hard to think that right now. It's so tempting to turn to the bottle right now. I got passed-out drunk Sunday night. I don't want to do that again. I know it will make things worse.

At least the last time I got out of a serious relationship, it kicked off a fun spree of partying and fun with some beautiful women (Halifax - the city where I used to live, was great for that). Maybe the same will happen again this time. Thankfully I'm in good shape and still have all my hair

I just got back from a 10K run. I don't know if it's just me, but if there's something emotional that I'm going through and I go for a long run, it really pulls the emotions out of me. I hope I was going fast enough for people not to notice that I was crying

Thanks again to everyone for their support. I may be physically alone in this, but I know the KATG community is there for me digitally.

Thank goodness for the KATG Hottest Girl contest. Those pics have certainly raised my...spirits When I get through this, I'll need to find myself a hot KATG girl. My wife never liked the show - that should have been a sign!

Cheers,
Adam

[Sparrow]

...pics?

[Adamus]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

...pics?

Of me?