Oh Mandy...

[Sparrow]

more rules for your relationship from the couple who went directly into counseling. i think #9 is less general advice and more maybe Pat should have just picked up the fucking flowers.

[Keith]

I'm excited for the next inevitable article: Why Negative Comments Only Make Me Stronger.

"The other day I was thinking about Christ Jesus, and it reminded me of myself. Now, I can't walk on water. My boyfriend comedian Pat Dixon will be the first to tell you that! I mean, heck, I have troubles simply navigating the New York Subway System. But what we DO have in common is that..."

[memecherry]

No comment needed except...

How to Create an Illusion of the Perfect Wife -- The Cut

[memecherry]

I want to barf already...

I've just ordered three new dresses to kick-start summer, and I'm twirling around, modeling the cutest, frilliest, blackest, lowest-cut one for my husband, Pat. He's smiling ear to ear, but instead of smiling back (or kissing him), that's when I make the mistake I’ve made so many times before.

I open my mouth.

"Oh, yeah — do you like these?" I ask, pleased with myself as I pull out the price tag and label. “I am so excited about this sale, honestly, because each of these little cocktail dresses is like $40, $50 apiece, and they all came from this vintage shop I found online … ”

About as sexy as a PowerPoint presentation.


I can see Pat’s face fall, and I realize what I've done. I am guilty (yet again) of marital TMI.

It doesn't stand for what my husband wishes it did. I’m a classic case of someone who gives way "too much information” and way too little “total maintenance of illusion." After all, what is a relationship if not a long-term extrapolation of an illusion you created at the beginning of your romance?

[memecherry]

Listening to the show mentioned in this thread:

http://www.keithandthegirl.com/forum...hit-bbc-19911/

Even here she's throwing herself at the mercy of her husband by saying how amazing he is blah, blah, blah... Notice Pat never really speaks in any kind of glowing ways about her...

[memecherry]

Originally Posted by Lord of the Cock Rings

This reminds me of friend's wedding about ten years ago. They wrote their own vows and hers were all about what an amazing person he was, how he made her want to be better, how he was going to be the guiding light in her life. His vows boiled down to; you're the only person I've ever met that didn't try to change me and want me to be my awesome, kick-ass self.

I remember thinking how one sided it was and that the marriage was probably doomed. They almost made it to 5 years before the divorce.

The difference in tone was so extreme for a little bit I started to think they interviewed them separately, but nope - They were together, he just doesn't ever seem to speak highly of her...

[memecherry]

More from this gem of a piece:

How to Create an Illusion of the Perfect Wife -- The Cut

"You really do look amazing," Pat starts. "I guess I just don't understand why you feel like you have to tell me the details when all I want to do is see you and appreciate the final result.”

Basically shut the fuck up and look pretty....

I can feel myself starting to get pissed, and he sees me starting to get pissed, so he keeps explaining. “Look at it this way,” he says. “The rest of the world sees this gorgeous final vision, and I want the same treat. I mean, no guy really wants to know, ‘Oh, okay, so the woman I see before me actually breaks down to $13 worth of Sephora, $30 worth of dresses, $20 worth of shoes … ’”

No, seriously, shut the fuck up and try to look pretty because we both know it costs us a lot more money than I would like to think about and I don't really care about things that are important to you, like sharing your feelings & thoughts...

Defeated via empathy (the best possible kind of defeat, I suppose), I start to pack my little treasures back into the brown paper boxes they came in, as I slip away from him.

“You really do look amazing,” he repeats, and kisses me. “I don’t want to fight.”

I am quiet and let the words hit.

He smiles at me as I begin to walk away. I turn my back so he can’t see. I’m smiling, too.


Just look pretty, twirl, and don't show emotion -- What the fuck kind of basis for a relationship is this?? I am so tempted to take bets on how much longer they stay together, but don't want any possible icky Karma for it so I will just keep watching from the sidelines.

[Lanfear]

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by memecherry

After all, what is a relationship if not a long-term extrapolation of an illusion you created at the beginning of your romance?

i understand why she feels like this must be true; she mistook wisdom for regularly wearing a suit.

[zappbrannigan]

Is Bret Easton Ellis workshopping a new novel under a pen name? Jesus Christ!